HadleyYou know when people tell you there are decisions in your life that have lasting repercussions? This is one of those decisions; I can feel the implications already weighing on my tired shoulders. Is what I'm doing right? Am I setting both myself and Riley up for a heartbreak that won't ever heal? I've done it once before, I can live through it again. But I wonder - can she? Glancing back in my rearview mirror, I see my daughter with a huge smile on her face. She's excited and looking forward to hanging out with Trick. I am too, and maybe that's the scariest part of this whole situation.I follow close behind, not only with my car, but with eyes, as I watch him navigate traffic. There's an air of authority about him. He doesn't slouch like some guys who ride motorcycles. He sits up tall, resting a hand on his thigh when we come to a stop light. His feet plant fully on the ground and there's a masculinity to the way he sits astride the seat; like he owns it. He could own me ju
TrickI want to know where Hadley went when I asked how she wanted her hamburger cooked. Her eyes had become unfocused, her breathing erratic, and the look on her face was one of anger, regret, and maybe a little disgust. One day she'll trust me enough to tell me. I'll make her trust me enough to tell me."It's done, ladies."A few months ago, I put a picnic table out here after I got sick of eating inside by myself. As I've cooked, Hadley has taken it upon herself to set the table, turning us into a team. It's nice to be a part of a team. I've never had that feeling before. Setting the burgers and hot dogs on the table, I watch as they come over from where they've been checking out the flowers the old owners of this place planted. They come over, and I pick Riley up since I'm unsure if she can comfortably navigate the table. With a hand to her back, I watch as she gets comfortable. "Want another?" I eye the almost empty Corona Hadley's set in front of her. "Better not. It'
TrickHadley's smiling at me, the sweetest, sexiest smile, I've ever seen in my life, as she sits on the edge of my bed. Her blonde hair is curly, hanging over the front of her shoulder. Using the towel I'd been drying off with after getting out of the shower, I quickly move to cover myself; I don't want to make her nervous."How'd you get in here? When'd you come back? Where's Riley?"She giggles, a throaty little sound that makes me tent the front of the towel I've just used to cover my nakedness. "You didn't lock the door, which is totally not safe at all. I can't believe you don't lock your door. Riley's with my next door neighbor. I decided to come back because I couldn't go to sleep tonight without at least having a taste of you."Hadley's much more forward than I imagined she would be. It's the most arousing thing I think I've seen in my life. "Funny," I grin down at her. "I was thinking the same thing when I watched your car leave.""We have tonight," she whispers to
HadleyI'm nervous heading to Trick's shop, but it's different than it was the first time I went. Our night changed things. I can't put my finger on it, but I feel different as I make my way across the bridge. Today I've grabbed a change of clothes and something to put my hair up with.Shaking my head, I grin, thinking I've never seen anyone's office as bad as Trick's. It's part of his appeal – the 'no fucks given' attitude he shoves in the face of everyone is like a shield against the world. I'm convinced now, more than ever, that there's a deeper side to Trick, a side he doesn't show to many. Tapping my fingers against the steering wheel, I wonder what it takes to see that side. "What are you doing, Hadley?"It's a question I've asked myself a lot since last night. After leaving his apartment, I went through his Facebook. It's mostly about his job, more motorcycles and things of that nature than anything. But hidden deep, I found what I think are a couple of friends. There we
Trick"How's it going?" Matt asks as I have a seat. "Not too bad, except for traffic being a bitch."I was almost late for this meeting and that's the last thing I need, especially when I'm trying to get my shit together. "You did cut it a little close," he gives me an ironic smile. "I was on time though, wasn't I?"He coughs. "Barely, but it doesn't matter, as long as I didn't have to wait on you. How's Riley? I see you've been spending a good amount of time with her. Hadley's doing a good job of keeping track of the hours."Suddenly my blood runs cold. I hadn't realized they were keeping track of my hours. Well, that's a lie. I did know they were keeping track of them, but I always seem to forget, my time with Sprite would be finite. How many hours were left? How much time did I have to make my dream last night a reality? Everything comes into focus, and I think maybe I've been playing life too safe. What if I never get the chance to do the things I want to do? What
Hadley I've been working for almost two hours and I'm not sure you can tell. The amount of paper this man has is insane. By the time I'm done, we'll be filling the city landfill, I'm almost positive of it. Turning my phone over, I don't see a text from him, not after the question I asked. It bothers me he hasn't answered. I thought we were close enough to share at least that much with one another. Finally, I see a flash of brown. Could it be? Am I almost to the wood grain of the desk? I want to get up and dance a little jig, but I'm also trying to be halfway professional.A bike cutting through the back alley grabs my attention. I think it's Trick, but I'm not completely sure. I figure if I spend enough time here, enough time with him, I'll know for sure. There's something intimate about being able to distinguish the sound of his bike from the sound of others. Like a teenage girl, I hope we get to that point in our relationship. When the backdoor opens and I hear his boots hit
TrickI wait for her to come back in, nervous as fuck she'll say she has to go home. I'm nervous she's going to stay, too. Either way it means I open my life up, my past, my future - it all fuckin' collides - to make a present I never dreamed could be possible. My hands shake as I reach into my pocket and fish out my zippo, grabbing a cigarette from the pack I keep in my jacket. I don't have a habit where I need to smoke constantly, but when I get nervous, I have to have something to calm me down; something to keep my hands busy if there's not a bike around needing work.Hadley comes back in, cell phone in hand, eyeing me as she puts it back in her purse. "Mrs. Oliver is okay to watch Riley tonight and get her off to school in the morning." She bites her lip as she looks at me, her eyes are bright, and I wonder what the fuck I'm doing. "Don't make me regret this, Trick, make sure you're honest with me."Taking a deep inhale on the cigarette, I hold it in, letting the smoke esc
HadleyI hear the front door to his apartment slam, and my hands shake. I've never had the kind of reaction I have to Trick, to anyone else. It's like a current flowing through both of our bodies, an electrical jolt that would make my heart start beating again if it stopped. Nervousness courses through my body, and I try to examine why I'm nervous. Because he's going to be honest with me.Because I'm going to be honest with him.I haven't opened myself up to a person in a long time. The last person I opened up to tried to use anything I ever told him to hurt me in the divorce proceedings. My brain knows that's the kind of man my ex was, but the irrational part cautions me against opening up to anyone else ever again. Even though it's lonely, it's easier that way; no one to hurt you in the long run.But in the last year, I've started to feel the loneliness. Not all day, and not even every day, but it's there, in the back of my mind. It's there when I want to watch a non-kid