With Liam's request with regards of drinking those Chinese herbs in hopes that I could get pregnant, I did it against my will. If I let my stubbornness prevail again, I'm only bringing myself closer to danger. I'm human too... I still feel pain by Liam's hand and leg blows every time he loses his temper.
"Your Mama Imelda will come later, Kris," said Mother Minda from the kitchen while I was in the living room watching TV. From here, her voice reached its peak, adding that the two of us were the only ones at home since Sarah went to school and Liam went to the hospital early. "Didn't you promise her that the next time she comes here you will cook her kare-kare?"
"Well, until now I still haven't gotten the mixture right. I often put too much peanut butter. She might criticize my cooking again just in case," I answered indifferently while still focusing on what I was watching.
That happened last year. It was my birthday and when I promised my mother-in-law that I would cook her a delicious Paella, I agreed... she only criticized it because it tasted too salty. I wonder what kind of wife I am if just cooking simple food is very difficult for me to do. Such embarrassing insult I’ve received from her that night and I promised myself that I would never do it again.
Well, I don't really have any talent in cooking. I'll just waste my energy studying, besides I'm the one who hates oil, spoons and pans.
"You and Liam have been married for over a decade, dear," replied Mother Minda who looked like she was done washing the dishes. She went to the living room and sat on a single-seater sofa where she could clearly see my face. "It's not bad if you make efforts to reconcile with your mother-in-law."
"I won't expect her heart to soften towards me anymore." My attention shifted to Mother Minda and as much as I could, I tried to make the smile on my lips better. "From the day I forced them to adopt Sarah as their own grandchild, I know I hurt her too much. Despite my deep reason as to why I wanted to adopt Sarah is because I want to make our family whole and happy, I might say she doesn’t care about where I’m coming from. And from that moment, I knew she started her hate towards me.”
That's why mom can't accept Sarah as a granddaughter. She has always been against my plan to adopt a child from an orphanage. Fortunately, I forced Liam to agree... so because of Sarah, Liam and I's dream family became complete, and in fact he even wanted us to form a basketball team. However, that might be impossible because my womb don’t cooperate.
"You can't blame Madam Imelda if she feels bad for you. If you had just continued taking the herbs you are taking now, or agreed to surrogacy, maybe your relationship with your mother-in-law would have been better ."
"I can endure drinking herbs," I muttered in between laughs, "but surrogacy? A baby is not food to be placed on any woman's ovary. That is something I cannot do in the name of having our own child."
I took the remote from under my butt because I didn't realize that I was sitting on it. And then I turned off the TV before getting up from my relaxing seat.
"Don't even mention to Liam that I'm leaving today," I begged. "I just have to make sure that Liam has no signs of having a mental disorder."
Her face showed disapproval. "Why are you insisting that Liam has a mental problem? Didn't I already tell you--"
"You can't blame me for suspecting him of having a mental disorder. You're not the one he's hurting, that's why you couldn't notice how his behavior changed from time to time."
"Mother Minda…" I came closer to her to touch her already rough palms. A forced smile curved my lips as I continued speaking, "I'm doing this to save our family and… our relationship. I'm his wife… and I'm responsible for taking care of his health. For now that his condition isn't that bad, if anything, then we can treat him.”
"Believe me or not… I really don't want to devastate our relationship… and our family. I love them both. I love Liam despite the way he hurt me. I have loved him as much as I loved him in the old days."
"My love for him remained despite him breaking his promises to me on the day I said 'yes' to his proposal... and on the day I said 'I do' to him on our wedding day."
"So, please… don't let Liam know that I left the house today. I just have to do this for his own sake. Please?"
And the good old woman did nothing but let me out. I have trust in her that she will not say anything to my husband about this. That's why I left the house early to meet my psychiatrist friend. I did not inform Mother Minda that the friend I was about to meet is a guy. For sure, she’ll never allow me to go out because she knows once Liam finds out I’m meeting a guy, whether he’s just my friend, I know my husband well. He can kill without mercy.
First of all, most of my friends are boys. So, Liam strictly forbids me to meet them. He makes even my friends jealous... and he's so suffocating. Even my contact details to them, Liam got rid of those. Phone numbers, and even my social media accounts. That was all deleted. Even creating a social media accounts, I don't have freedom.
That's how jealousy turned my husband to be the man I'm not expecting him to be.
*****
"Carrying so much anger, it's like you're losing yourself. Is that so?"
I nodded. "And after he realizes he has abused me, he will suddenly asked Mother Minda to imprison him in his study room. As if he's stopping himself from harassing me."
"Uhm, Kris," Logan's terrified voice was all I heard. "This is the only thing I could advise you as of now..."
"What?"
"Dissociative Identity Disorder is very rare." I just remained silent, waiting for him to explain that disorder further. "And I think your husband seemed to be diagnosed with having this disorder. These people have many personalities... and maybe the abusive one is the other side of Liam."
"So, the best thing I could advise you is to live with Liam separately. You will not be safe if you are always with your husband, Kris. He should've been brought to a healthcare facility, so we can help him treat his disorder."I clenched my trembling fist. Logan's suggestion was actually the one I should've done now. For Sarah and I's safety, the only thing that comes with my mind is to escape."Based on what I heard from you, one of the symptoms of DID is that he suddenly becomes a different person in front of you without any specific reason. It's because a person diagnosed with this kind of disorder tends to have over 100 alters in their personalities." Logan got his pen pointing to his temple, as if he's thinking something. "I need to see your husband by myself, Kris. It's not enough for me to know from you what he does or what happens to him day after day.""I can see his symptoms, yes. But as a professional, I shouldn't diagnose a person having this kind of illness without check
"Tell me why?" Liam's deep and terrifying voice enveloped my body as my body shivered so hard while sitting at the edge of the bed. "What's your reason for leaving the house without my consent? I didn't fail to remind you, didn't I? I told you not to go outside, Kris! Is that too much to ask?"I want to answer him yes. I want to voice out my feelings and I want to show him that he is exaggerating by locking me up here inside the hell he used to call a palace before. But I ended up saying, "I'm sorry."Even though I don't see any reason for me to apologize, to cut this conversation short, I apologized."I'm sorry for breaking your rules, Liam.""It's okay." Even though I was looking at the floor, I could clearly see from the floor the fall of the lab coat he had just taken off. "But, please..." And I don't really like what's about to happen tonight.Liam pushed my shoulder lightly just to lay my body down on the bed. "I don't want the same thing to happen again, hmm? You know what I do
A week of no good communication with Liam because of his tight schedule, and here he is... just freaking out to stop me from having coffee."No, Kirsten! Don't drink that!" Liam ran up to me to grab the coffee that Mother Minda just brought me here in the garden area."Are you also forbidding me to drink coffee?" I asked calmly. I don't want to fight with him now... I'm not ready to get my body hurt.He violently grabbed the coffee cup and threw it on the grass. At the same time, I saw behind Liam that his two bodyguards were holding Mother Minda.Liam was about to turn his back to me when I stopped him. "What's going on? Where are you taking Mother Minda?!""In the place where she belongs." To my surprise, he brought his face to me with a bad expression. "There is no problem with you, Kris. The doctor's diagnosis of your womb’s inability to get pregnant was not true.""H-How? H-How did you say that? You're a doctor, Liam! Doctors can't make mistakes in diagnosing--""That old woman c
I held back my own excitement to tell Liam about the success of our sex last time. I would like to find a good time to surprise him with this great news. One more thing, he's been very busy these past few days, so for the meantime, I’d rather like him to focus on his job. Maybe telling my surprise to him can wait.One of these days, I will be able to tell him about my pregnancy... but I think this time is not so good and so perfect to speak."Most of the time, you drink coffee in the morning partnered with ham and sausage," Liam remarked, pointing his finger to my plate currently having plain rice with veggies, and to my drink, I have hot milk. "You're not into healthy foods. What's your reason for making a change?""Do you have to always question all the changes you'll notice every time with me?""You're acting strange, Kris. That's why." My piercing gaze could not shake his preoccupation with food. "And some changes in your body and routines only result in only two things..." Now Li
"Are you busy?" I was inside our room folding clothes when Liam arrived. "Kris--""Use your eyes. You see I'm doing something, right?" Maybe my pregnancy caused me to be hot-headed, so my mood suddenly changed.My heart skipped a beat when the door slammed hard, and my body jerked up out of nowhere as Liam pulled my hair causing my scalp to ache."L-Liam, it hurts--""Do you think you didn't hurt me the way you answered me, Kris?! Don't you care about me anymore?!" He presented my innocent face to him, only to be surprised when I saw tears streaming down his cheeks. "Don't you want me anymore, Kris?""L-Liam…"Even though my hand was shaking, I tried to remove his hand from clinging to my hair. But it was not enough as I let myself be too stunned by just looking at my husband... now that he's acting as someone I don't know... again."A-Are y-you okay?""You're asking me if I'm okay after what you've said to me?! What do you think?!" His previously gentle voice became harsh and sharp.
"Fuck that psychiatrist, Kris!" And as predicted, he's gonna explode like a ticking bomb. "Why do you keep insisting that I'm having mental illness-"“I'm not saying you are-”"But you're actually making me feel like I'm one!" The newly hired maids aren't at our house yet, so Liam and I are the only two here, fighting in the home he once called a palace. "Am I not normal in your eyes? What is wrong with my character for you to think that I’m insane?!”"Stop calling yourself like that. I'm not saying you're crazy-”"But you think there's a problem with my thinking, what's the difference? I'm okay and I’m totally fine, so stop forcing me to go to those stupid psychiatrists because I'm not mentally retarded!” He left me here in the living room of the house with the clothes he bought for me scattered.“He's a health worker. How could he call psychiatrists as doctors of crazy people?”Liam made me heave a long sigh for acting like that. He just couldn't admit to himself that there was real
He even laughed at me just to tease me. "I'm close with Liam. I'm one of his colleagues way back 2016-18, but we just parted ways when I flew to Italy with Gwen.""Whoa. I have no idea about that.” And literally I got surprised upon knowing my brother-in-law has connections with my husband. "Anyway, how are you? How are you and Gwen? Does mom already know that you are back here in the Philippines?""Gwen and I got home here last week. Actually, you're the only one who had no idea we're back." Hen suddenly turned his back on me while taking a look at the venue of Liam and I's wedding anniversary. Because from here, there is a view of the garden area. "Liam loved you so much, didn't he?"As much as I wanted to tell him the truth, I couldn't. Especially now that I found out that Hen is connected to my husband, I think this is not the perfect time to let the bomb explode."He truly is." Even inside, I want to divorce my husband. "He's a loving husband to me... indeed."I took advantage of
I lost my temper when Liam held my hand. It was so tight that he didn't want to let me go while his eyes were as fierce as fire if he could look.And I know this kind of scene. I have watched it and it has happened several times."Excuse us," Liam said coldly and without a word, he pulled me out of the venue where those guests who were curious about the scandal I made earlier were cutting me.And my body settled down from crying. Now my worry and sorrow for my dying mother has been replaced by fear. He pushed me into our room. The door slammed very hard when he closed it, while I did nothing but protect my baby with my aching arm.At this time, I can tolerate my husband hurting me again, just don't hurt my baby.“Aren't you thinking? There are so many people at the venue, did you really think of spreading out there? Fuck this life! In front of my friends, you're going to tell me that you almost lost respect for me as your husband?!”"M-My mother is dying, Liam. What do you want me to