Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Emma’s POV

I lay on the bed, feeling the impact of Luca's powerful actions lingering in my body. The room was poorly illuminated, with shadows from the flickering hallway light creating a more dismal atmosphere. His rough touch left my skin tingling, and his lingering scent served as a constant reminder of our recent meeting. 

The shame and disorientation swirled inside me, an emotional tempest that wouldn't calm down. Luca’s unexpected arrival, his forceful kiss, and the following intense interaction left me feeling violated yet strangely invigorated. I was perplexed by the mix of fury and excitement. 

After he departed, I fell onto the bed, experiencing exhaustion in both mind and body. Tears ran unchecked, their salty paths contrasting sharply with the harsh, unchanging truth of my circumstances. I despised myself for allowing him to affect me so profoundly, for how my body had reacted to his control despite my mind's objections. 

I attempted to understand everything. Was it his furious gaze, the assertive manner in which he took possession of me, or the indifferent attitude he displayed afterwards? Was it my innermost self that found excitement in his harsh actions? The harder I attempted to identify the reason, the more ensnared I got in my own feelings. 

I slowly lifted myself up, noticing the discomfort between my legs as a clear sign of his control. I clumsily got out of bed and made my way to the vanity. In the mirror, I saw a chaotic scene: smudged cosmetics, knotty hair, and a flushed countenance reflecting my crying. I attempted to control my breath, soothe the turmoil inside me, but it felt impossible. 

A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. I stood still, my heart beating rapidly. A part of me wanted it to be Luca, but the more logical side of me worried it was him coming back for additional reasons. I hesitantly walked up to the door, opened it, and saw Jane, one of the maids, holding a tray of food and a new set of clothes. 

Jane had a look of both sympathy and curiosity in her eyes as she placed the tray on the table without saying a word. I found solace in her presence during the chaos, and her silent backing was valued by me. 

"Should you require assistance, I'll be waiting outside," she whispered as she exited the room. 

I inhaled deeply, attempting to calm down. Although not feeling hungry, I understood the importance of eating to restore my energy. I grabbed a fruit and took a small bite, but it lacked flavor. I moved the food to the side and approached the window, opening the curtains to peer outside. The gentle moonlight illuminated the mansion grounds, a sharp juxtaposition to the chaos inside me. 

While I gazed at the peaceful view outside, my thoughts quickly turned to Luca. His complete dominance over me, fueled by anger and desire, kept replaying in my mind. I despised him for it, yet a piece of me couldn't resist the perverse charm of his control. 

I nodded my head, attempting to disperse the thoughts. Being trapped in such a contradictory state of mind was infuriating. I had to concentrate on the now in order to reestablish a feeling of power over my life. I couldn't allow Luca to witness the extent to which he had impacted me. I had to keep my calm, even if it was only a front. 

I put on a black dress that fit snugly and emphasized my body, getting ready in a hurry. It served as a declaration of resistance, a method to reaffirm my authority over my own image. I carefully put on my makeup, attempting to conceal any traces of my previous crying and achieve a flawless appearance. 

After getting ready, I glanced at the clock and saw that I should head out for the party shortly. The idea of encountering Luca and the social group made me feel anxious, but I understood I didn't have any other option. I had to act as his spouse, even if I had to conceal my inner distress. 

I approached the door, pushed it, and entered the hallway. Matthias, who was responsible for protecting Luca's safety, was standing in anticipation of my arrival. His face showed the same stoic demeanor, a flawless display of professionalism. He ushered me into the parked car, and the journey to the charity event was a whirlwind of disturbing thoughts and worries. 

When we got there, I was welcomed by the bright lights and the excitement of the party. The elegant guests in the grand hall contrasted sharply with the chaos in my mind, as their laughter and chatter filled the room. I inhaled deeply and prepared myself for the upcoming evening. I had to act as Luca's wife with all the elegance and composure I could gather. 

Stepping out of the car, I walked into the grand hall and all the guests' eyes focused on me as I arrived. I moved purposefully, looking around the room for Luca. He stood in the middle of the room, talking with various important individuals. He quickly looked at me when I came closer, and we held eye contact briefly. 

There was no indication of the previous intensity, no suggestion of the anger and control he had shown. On the contrary, he appeared calm and distant, displaying a flawless facade of restraint. It felt like the occurrences from the previous night were completely forgotten. 

I approached him with a forced smile on my face and said hello. "Luca," I spoke calmly, masking the internal turmoil. 

He gave me a quick look, his eyes revealing no feelings. "Emma," he responded, speaking politely yet keeping his distance. "You appear... well-dressed." 

I suppressed the quick response that came to mind, trying to stay composed. I nodded, expressing gratitude.

I said. "Should we?" 

He nodded and grasped my arm, guiding me through the crowd. While socialising, I discovered that I was encircled by prominent personalities and upper-class people. I effortlessly joined their fast-paced discussions, interacting with familiar names and faces while gracefully navigating through uncomfortable moments with a smile. 

Despite my outward composure, my mind kept drifting back to the previous night. The raw intensity of Luca’s actions had left me feeling both shaken and strangely aroused.I was overwhelmed by conflicting emotions and had difficulty hiding my true feelings. 

During the evening, I maintained a professional and courteous attitude when interacting with Luca, attempting to overlook the tension between us.  I could feel his eyes on me occasionally, a reminder of the control he had asserted over me. His aloof demeanour only served to heighten the sense of unease that plagued me.

As the party went on, I began to feel increasingly tired. Putting on a facade, maintaining a cheerful demeanour, and interacting with visitors to conceal my internal struggle was exhausting. I removed myself from the group and went to a secluded part of the hall, seeking a short break from the social obligations. 

I rested against a column, pausing to collect my thoughts. The evening was full of strong feelings, so I wanted a short break to calm down. As I began to sense some peace, footsteps drew near. 

I looked and saw Luca standing before me, his face impossible to read as he got closer. His intense gaze caught me off guard momentarily. His gaze was authoritative yet disquieting. 

He said in a low and controlled voice, "Emma. Are you having a good time this evening?" 

I put on a smile, attempting to keep up a calm appearance. "I have found it... intriguing," I responded, my tone unwavering despite the chaos inside. 

Luca looked at me for a moment, a touch of inscrutability in his gaze. "Okay," he said briefly. “I believe you are conducting yourself appropriately.”

I agreed with a shiver down my back. "Surely," I replied, speaking with a strong tone. 

After observing me a little longer, he looked away, his usual aloof expression back on his face. I saw him leave, experiencing a combination of relief and aggravation. The night was still ongoing, and I understood that I had to keep managing the fine line between keeping my cool and dealing with my own mixed feelings. 

As the night went on, I became engulfed in a blur of talking and mingling. The time passed slowly, and I found it difficult to maintain a facade while my thoughts were consumed by the happenings from the night before. I needed to regain control of my emotions and reconcile the conflicting feelings I had. 

As the party began to calm down, I experienced exhaustion in both my body and emotions. The continuous struggle to keep calm had exhausted me, and I felt relieved as the crowd started to decrease. I was aware that I would encounter Luca once more, but at the moment, I permitted myself a momentary break. 

As I got ready to depart from the event, I took one final look around the hall. The size of the location and the sophistication of the attendees made everything feel far away and dreamlike. I couldn't wait to go back to the quiet of my room, to seek comfort away from the curious gazes and the demands of the night. 

I returned to the car, my mind filled with a mix of confusion and frustration. The night served as a continual indication of the intricate relationship between Luca and myself, a brutal truth from which I couldn't break free. I was committed to discovering a method to manage the emotional chaos and reclaim authority over my life. 

I gazed out of the window as the car moved away from the location, watching the city lights blur by. The evening had put my determination to the test, and I was focused on coming out of it with my pride unscathed.