ANMELDENIRISMy studio is too quiet today.That’s the first thing I notice when I step inside after breakfast, carrying my coffee in one hand and a roll of charcoal paper beneath my arm. Not peaceful quiet, not the lovely, spacious silence that filled the cottage last week when the workmen finally left and the whole place seemed to exhale around me. This quiet feels different. Thinner. Watchful somehow, though I know that is ridiculous because there’s nobody here except me.My cutting table waits in the center of the room, bolts of fabric stand neatly against the wall. Sketches are pinned in uneven rows above my desk, some finished, most not, all of them bearing evidence of a woman trying to remember how to believe in her own hands again.I set down my coffee, remove my coat, and tell myself this is good, and that work is good, routine is good. Daddy was right about that, for sure. After the funeral, after the terrible night that followed, after waking in his bed with shame still crawling ben
THOMASThe silence feels earned somehow. Comfortable. Intimate.My hand moves slowly through her hair, untangling curls from my fingers, and I find myself staring into the fire while she rests against me. It occurs to me suddenly that this has become my favorite version of her. Not laughing, not teasing… not even smiling.Trusting."Are you really all right, princess?” I ask. “With being with me, after the funeral? After everything?”She lifts her head, and the look in her eyes steals every coherent thought from my head. "I've spent so much time trying to decide whether what we’re doing wrong. I've thought about Edward, and about Helen. About what people would say if they knew that I call you Daddy. I've thought about the timing, the circumstances. Every reason this shouldn't have happened, every reason I shouldn't want it."She reaches up then, resting her palm against my jaw. The gesture is impossibly tender. "But every time I imagine walking away from you, it feels like lying."The
THOMASFor a long moment after she tells me she’s staying, neither of us speaks. The morning sun continues to shine beyond the windows, soft against the glass, and I sit here, overwhelmed by a relief so profound, it almost feels like grief.I’d spent the entire night preparing myself to lose her. Not because I wanted to, but because I care for her enough to believe that I might have to. I’m still trying to recover from the conversation when she moves.She rises from the bed without a word, her bare feet disappearing into the thick carpet. Morning light catches the red in that thick tumble of hair as she walks over to me, and for a moment I have absolutely no idea what she’s doing.Then she sinks gracefully to her knees… not because I demanded it, and not because I expected it.The breath leaves my lungs. God help me, after everything that happened yesterday, after the funeral and the panic and the tears and the terrible night that followed, the last thing that I expected was this.Yet
IRISI wake slowly, surfacing through layers of exhausted sleep. For several long moments I simply lie still beneath the blankets, staring at the pale grey light beyond the windows while faint sunlight drifts softly across the glass.My body feels heavy. Heavy in the peculiar way one feels after crying too much, after grief has worked through every muscle and nerve and finally left nothing behind except exhaustion. The room is warm despite the chilly autumn weather. The fire has burned low in the grate. Somewhere downstairs, distant and muted, the house is beginning to wake around me.The memories return gradually now. Not in the jagged, overwhelming way they came yesterday, but quietly, like unwelcome guests slipping back into a room after briefly stepping outside.Edward's coffin disappearing into the sodden earth. Helen standing rigid beside the grave. Margaret’s cold glances. The terrible weight of everyone's grief pressing down upon my shoulders, until I could no longer tell the
THOMASIris sleeps like someone who’s been taken from herself by force. There’s no peace in it, no real calm.The sedative has softened the worst of the trembling, drawn her down into a heavy, unnatural stillness, but even unconscious she doesn’t look restful. One hand remains curled near her throat, fingers half-closed as though some part of her is still trying to hold herself together. Her face is pale against my pillow, dark lashes damp, mouth softened by exhaustion. Every so often, her breath catches faintly, the smallest broken hitch, and each time it does something savage to my chest.I lie beside her without sleeping. I haven’t even closed my eyes, let alone tried to sleep.The room is dim, lit only by the low lamp near the bed and the weak blue-black glow of the rain beyond the windows. Somewhere outside, Edward lies buried beneath wet earth. Somewhere downstairs, the house has gone silent around us, respectful now in the way old houses become after catastrophe, as though Ashcr
THOMASNight settles over Ashcroft Manor like punishment.The house is too quiet after the funeral, every corridor dimmed, every door closed, every room carrying that particular stillness that follows death and ceremony. I’ve endured grief in many forms over the years, but there’s something uniquely brutal about returning from a burial and finding the house unchanged, as though the walls have simply refused to acknowledge what’s taken place just beyond them.Iris has been silent for hours. Not withdrawn in the way she sometimes becomes when overwhelmed, not merely tired or thoughtful, but absent somehow. As though some essential part of her has stepped backward beyond my reach.She sits on the edge of my bed in the black dress she wore to Edward’s grave, hands folded tightly in her lap, eyes fixed on nothing, and every instinct I possess has been sharpening since dinner.“I can’t stay here tonight,” she says now.I turn from the window. “What?”“I can’t sleep in this room. Not tonight.







