Chapter 4

I shot upright.

A heavy, blunt pain tore through my incision.

Gritting my teeth, I looked around in panic.

The bassinet beside me was empty.

A chill rushed to the top of my head.

With trembling hands, I pressed the call button beside the bed again and again.

A nurse hurried in.

Using a translation app, I gestured helplessly.

"The baby?

"Where is my baby?"

The nurse's face filled with pity.

She picked up the translation device and slowly typed a line.

"Placental abruption, severe hemorrhage, delayed emergency treatment. The baby boy died of asphyxiation. We are very sorry."

I stared at the words on the screen. It felt as if someone had hollowed out my heart.

A wave of nausea surged up, and I retched violently.

Nothing came out.

I knelt by the bed, tears streaming down my face, but not a sound escaped me.

Then came the physical ache of milk letdown. My hospital gown grew wet.

The loud cry of a newborn from the next room was like a red-hot brand pressed into my heart.

I was in agony.

I remembered the joy of feeling his first movement.

I remembered crying when I saw his face for the first time on the ultrasound.

My whole body shook uncontrollably.

I closed my eyes. Pain throbbed through my chest.

Then a familiar pair of large hands covered my ears.

It was Robert.

He looked at my flattened stomach and understood everything.

"I am sorry, Nora.

"I should not have come so late. I should not have left you to endure this alone."

My eyes were empty. I turned my face away.

The pillow was already soaked with tears.

Seeing my silence, he continued.

"Nora, your last prenatal checkup was not very good.

"Even if the child had been born, he might not have..."

My heart trembled.

It was as if someone were scattering salt over my bloody wound.

I turned toward him numbly and stared in disappointment.

"This is the third one. We still could not keep him."

Robert's face showed pity.

"The first time, you brought me to a business dinner, and I was maliciously forced to drink until I miscarried on the spot.

"The second time, I went out of town while heavily pregnant to help you negotiate a contract and miscarried from overwork.

"The third time... you took five hundred milliliters of my blood."

His face shifted between pale and blue.

My eyes reddened, and I shouted in despair, "You never cared whether my children lived or died."

Robert's throat moved. After a long silence, he forced out, "We will... have children again."

No.

Never again.

Two years ago, he had looked at me with deep affection and said, "Nora, I grew up in a broken family.

"In the future, I want to build a real warm home with you and have a lovely baby."

Because I loved him too much, I wanted this man who had grown up starved of love to feel the warmth of family.

And he destroyed everything with his own hands.

Sobbing, I screamed, "Why can your child with Vivienne grow up healthy while my children can only turn into blood?"

Robert reached out and caught my tears in his palm.

He cried too.

But I could no longer tell whether it was real.

After a silence, he took out a blank check.

"Nora, fill in any number you want.

"I bought a ticket home for the day after tomorrow. Go back first and recover.

"As long as you behave, I will give you a grand seaside wedding as compensation.

"Give me one last chance. For the rest of my life, I will cherish you."

He turned and walked away.

I picked up my phone and dialed a number sealed away for years.

"I have made up my mind. I am willing to go with you. Come get me."

I lifted my eyes to that blank check.

It felt like saying goodbye to Robert Blackwell.

At three in the morning, I walked into the night and never looked back.