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When My Hands Were Ruined
When My Hands Were Ruined
작가: Perfect Timing

Chapter 1

작가: Perfect Timing
The delivery driver handed me a stiff cardboard envelope. "Joshua Wood, sign here, please. It's from the visa center."

My hand tightened around the pen, and for a second, it trembled. In my previous life, I had only glanced at this envelope. By that very night, it was gone, along with my passport.

I tore the house apart looking for them, sweating so badly that I could barely think. My mom's eyes were red from crying as she said, "It's my fault. I should've kept them somewhere safe."

Then, the fire came.

After that, I never had another chance to find them.

This time, after signing for the envelope, I held it tightly against my chest.

"You got it?" My mother stepped out of the kitchen with flour still on her hands. The moment she saw the passport, her eyes lit up. "Let me see."

I closed the passport. "I put it away."

She froze for a second, then smiled. "I just want to take a look. It's not like I've never seen your documents before."

I did not move. The smile on her face slowly stiffened.

"Joshua, who are you so worried about?"

That tone was painfully familiar. Soft, with just enough hurt and disappointment woven into it.

In my previous life, that tone got me every time.

The moment she asked something like that, I would start explaining. I would hand whatever I was holding straight to her, terrified she would think I did not trust her or that I was not close enough to her anymore.

Not this time.

I slipped the passport into the inner pocket of my sheet-music case and fastened the security clasp. "It's an important document. I should manage it myself."

My mother's eyes quickly turned red. "So now that you're going abroad, you think I'm too ignorant to even touch your things?"

Our neighbor Hannah Tomlinson came over from next door with a bowl of freshly washed cherries in her hands. She had clearly heard everything, because the moment she walked in, her expression darkened.

"Joshua, she just wants to see your passport. What's the big deal? Why won't you let her look at it?"

My mother lowered her head, her voice trembling. "Forget it. He's grown up. He has his own world now. I'm just a burden to him."

Hannah immediately turned to me. "Joshua, you can't treat your mother like this. She raised you all by herself. You know better than anyone how hard she's worked all these years."

I looked at both of them.

"I know my mom has worked hard. But working hard doesn't mean she gets to keep my passport for me."

Hannah stared at me, clearly caught off guard.

My mother lifted her eyes. For the briefest instant, something unsettling flashed through them, quick as a needle. Then, she started crying again.

"Joshua, I'm not trying to control you. I'm just scared. You're going so far away. You don't even know the language that well. What if you get sick? What if someone scams you?"

"I'm 22," I said.

Her head snapped up. "What does being 22 have to do with anything? You could be 82, and you'd still be my son!"

Her voice suddenly rose, and all the emotions she had been holding back for years burst out at once.

"Your father died young. I gave up almost everything to raise you all these years. And now that you're grown up and have a life of your own, you're just going to leave whenever you want? Did you ever stop to think about what I'm supposed to do?"

I lowered my eyes. I had heard those words my entire previous life. Every single time, I let her win.

However, this time, I only asked one question, "You want me to stay?"

My mother froze. The water in the kitchen continued to drip. Her lips moved, but in the end, she slipped back into that same helpless, pitiful expression. "I'm not that selfish. I just can't bear to see you go."

I smiled. "Good. I'm leaving tomorrow."

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  • When My Hands Were Ruined   Chapter 10

    The year my mother was released from prison, I had just finished my tour across Eurona.My lawyer warned me ahead of time."She's been released. Based on the risk assessment, there's a chance she may try to contact you directly. You can continue providing financial support through a third party. You don't need to have any private contact with her."I said, "Keep the existing arrangement."That night, Uncle Chester called. I did not answer.A long voice message appeared a few minutes later."Joshua, your mom is out. Her health is terrible. She gets out of breath just walking. You're famous now. You have your own career, your own life. But don't let having a good life make you forget where you came from."She just wants to see you once. What would it hurt to go home and see her? Are you really unwilling to give her even that much of your time?"I forwarded the voice message to my lawyer.The next day, my lawyer sent Uncle Chester a formal letter making it clear that all communic

  • When My Hands Were Ruined   Chapter 9

    After that, I threw myself into a life that felt full and deeply satisfying. My days were filled with piano practice, classes, rehearsals, competitions, and tours. Every morning at seven, I was already in the practice room, and late at night, I would walk back to the dorm with my sheet music tucked under my arm.People often said I looked as though I were racing against time. They had no idea how right they were.I really was chasing something. I was chasing the nine years that had been burned away from my life in my previous life, trying to make up for every moment I had lost.The first time I won an award at an international competition, Ms. Harris flew all the way to see me. She sat in the very last row of the audience.When I took my final bow, I saw her give me a small nod.After the performance, she handed me a cup of hot coffee."How are your hands?""Great.""What about your heart?"I froze for a second, then smiled. "It's thawing."She did not ask anything else.

  • When My Hands Were Ruined   Chapter 8

    Fall came quickly to Parish.During my first week, I practically lived in the practice rooms.The academy's practice building was old. The wooden floors creaked beneath every step, and the sound of street musicians playing accordions often drifted in through the windows.The first time I sat down in front of the Steinway, I held my hands above the keys for a long time without playing a note.My classmates probably thought I was nervous, but only I knew what I was really doing. I was trying to convince myself that this was real, that I was not dreaming, that I had truly been given another chance.When the first note finally rang out, tears nearly spilled onto the back of my hand. I played for four straight hours, moving from Bach to Debussy, from basic exercises to the audition pieces I had spent two years preparing.By the time I finally stopped, my fingertips were aching and my wrists were burning. However, that kind of pain made me feel safe.It was not the pain of a burn. It

  • When My Hands Were Ruined   Chapter 7

    After my mother was officially taken into custody, I went home to collect the rest of my things.A large section of the living room wall was black with soot. The floor near the entryway had warped and lifted, and the sharp smell of smoke still hung in the air. The old piano was still sitting by the window, its lid covered in dust.My father had bought it secondhand when he was still alive. I could still remember him bringing it home, carrying it himself until he was drenched in sweat, yet grinning as if he had just won the lottery.He had said, "My son is going to play on the biggest stages someday."I sat down at the piano and pressed a key. The strings were badly out of tune, and the note came out dull and cracked.However, the moment my fingers touched the keys, I almost cried. My hands were still okay.In my previous life, I had heard piano music countless times in my dreams. Then, I would wake up and see only my twisted fingers.My mother would bring a glass of water

  • When My Hands Were Ruined   Chapter 6

    The family group chat exploded the next morning.[Whatever your mom did, she's still your mother.][She just couldn't bear to lose you. What mother could accept her son moving so far away?][The fire didn't even reach you. Why can't you just let it go?][You've had all those years of education. How can you still not understand something as basic as family?]Uncle Chester even brought my aunt to the hotel and waited downstairs while I met with them. He dropped a stack of papers in front of me. "Sign them."I glanced at the first page. It was a statement asking the prosecutor to show my mother leniency and making it clear that I did not want to pursue the matter any further.My aunt's eyes were swollen from crying. "Joshua, we're not asking you to cover for her. We just want to give her a chance. She didn't sleep at all last night. She kept calling your name. Your mom isn't in good health. If you let them lock her up, she could die in there."I looked at her. "Before she started

  • When My Hands Were Ruined   Chapter 5

    At the police station, my mother gave them three different stories. The first was that she had accidentally started the fire while cooking.The officer stared at her. "At midnight? You were cooking with a candle?"She fell silent.The second story was that she had had an emotional breakdown and was trying to hurt herself.However, the preliminary fire investigation had already come back.The fire had started on the floor near the entryway, not beside her. She had been standing a safe distance from the flames, and neither the doors nor the windows had been blocked. Her story about being 'trapped' did not match the evidence.The third story was that I had driven her to it.She claimed I had looked down on her for years, deliberately provoked her before leaving the country, and installed security cameras just to push her over the edge.I submitted the original video files, the emergency call recording, and the cloud timestamps.In the footage, she could clearly be seen removing t

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