Chapter 2

Dylan slammed the door behind him, and the sound made me flinch again. I curled tighter under the covers.

He knew I was afraid of the dark, thunder, and sleeping alone. For six years, he had slept beside me with his arms around me, while Teddy curled up next to the bed.

Whenever Dylan went away on business, Teddy would sleep on the bed with me instead. When Dylan came home, he'd complain about the dog hair and brush it off the sheets with an annoyed look on his face.

But tonight, he left without a second thought, and he took Teddy with him.

Teddy's whimpers faded farther and farther down the hall as the thunder outside kept crashing, each clap louder than the last.

I pulled the covers tight around me and curled into a ball, my heart pounding as I drifted in and out of one nightmare after another.

I dreamed I was five again, home alone while Mom and Dad were out. In the middle of the night, a stranger started pounding on the door. I cried and called Mom and Dad over and over, but neither of them answered.

Then I was seven, sent away to live in the countryside. One night, while I was taking a bath alone, I looked up and saw someone leering at me through the window.

When I was ten, Mom and Dad finally brought me home. I thought I'd finally get to sleep between Mom and Dad, but they pushed me away impatiently and told me not to take Julia's spot.

I didn't know how long I'd been asleep when another nightmare jolted me awake. The storm had passed, but my pillow was soaked with tears.

I reached for my phone and saw Julia's latest post with the caption, "After 730 days, we finally don't have to kiss through a screen anymore!"

It was a nine-photo collage of her and Dylan all over each other. Their fingers were intertwined. Hickeys covered their collarbones, and two smeared handprints streaked the bathroom mirror.

The tightness in my chest became almost unbearable. That was when I finally made up my mind. I went straight to campus and filed the paperwork to give up my placement in Harborwyn.

"Ms. Upton, I'm not going to Harborwyn."

My advisor, Ms. Upton, paused, sounding genuinely surprised. "Ruth, are you sure? Dylan leaves for Harborwyn in three days. You've always gone wherever he goes. What changed?"

I gave her a faint, bitter smile. "Ms. Upton, you once told me I needed to stop being so clingy."

Ms. Upton hesitated for a moment, then asked, "So where are you going instead?"

"Montevia. I leave in three days."

After saying goodbye to Ms. Upton, I walked off campus alone.

For years, I'd given up what I wanted just to stay close to Dylan. In high school, I gave up the art program I'd always wanted and chose the science track because he did.

When it was time for college, I chose a university I didn't even like just to be near him. When we applied to grad school, I gave up my plan to switch to art and stayed at the same university as him.

And when Dylan decided to move to Harborwyn for work, I agreed to go with him without a second thought.

But Harborwyn had never been where I wanted to go. This time, I wanted to make my own choice.

On the way home, I bought two large storage bags. But when I got back, the door wouldn't open. I entered the code again and again, but the lock kept saying it was wrong.

Then the door opened from the inside. Julia stood there in my pajamas and waved me in.

"Dylan, Ruth's back. Fix her a plate!"

Dylan immediately picked up a plate and served me some food, like it was the most normal thing in the world. I stood frozen in the doorway, my throat tightening as I watched him.

Ever since we'd moved in together, I had been the one cooking every meal. Dylan had always acted like even fixing me a plate was too much to ask. But the moment Julia told him to do it, he did.

The table was covered with greasy, spicy food, and the smell of chili made my eyes sting. I'd had a sensitive stomach since I was little, and spicy food always left me with a stomachache.

But Julia loved it, so growing up, Mom and Dad always expected me to just deal with it. Whenever my stomach hurt, they said I was being dramatic and difficult.

It wasn't until I started dating Dylan that I finally felt like I could say no to spicy food. Now, even that small freedom was gone.

I didn't touch the food. I looked up at him instead. "Why did you change the passcode?"

Dylan answered like it was no big deal. "The old one was too hard to remember, so I changed it to Julia's birthday. Once we move to Harborwyn, she's going to live here with Teddy."

I gripped the hem of my shirt, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. "What did you just say? You're leaving Teddy with her and letting her move into our place?"