6. Goodbye

Freya

“Alright now, that’s enough for today,” the maid said as she encouraged me to look at myself in the mirror. “Just look at how gorgeous you look.”

When Id gazed upon myself in the mirror, it was true, I did look gorgeous. But it wasn’t me. It wasn’t Freya looking back it was the perfect woman for Matthew standing there, and it made my blood boil. Not only was I meant to be sent off with some middle-aged fuck boy, but I wasn’t even good enough being myself while doing it.

“Yes, well you did a lovely job teacher me,” I replied with a slight smile.

“We still need to get the table setting down, and some more speaking lessons,” the maid said. “But I do think you’ll make a fine bride for the Dark Star alpha!”

“I’m glad I have you to help me,” I replied with the sweetest smile I could muster as I walked her to the door. “Same time tomorrow?”

“Yes, and I’ll bring some more gowns for you to try,” the maid replied as she went out the door, and I shut it, heaving a heavy sigh of relief.

“Finally,” I whispered to myself, immediately stripping off the gaudy off green gown she’d brought, throwing it violently to the floor.

Only a little longer, I told myself. Then I’ll be free.

A light knock came at the door, and I let out an annoyed whine to myself, thinking it was the maid again. “Can I help you?” I said in an annoyed tone as I opened the door, in my corset and uncomfortable bloomers, fed up with everything. But instead of the maid, I found Raven standing there.

“Have I come at a bad time?” Raven asked as she looked past me to the gown on the floor.

“Oh, uh, no not at all,” I replied, my tone softened. I hadn’t really spoken to Raven in a while, not for her lack of trying. But I was still feeling the burn of her engagement, like a searing poker against my heart. Not that she knew. No one but Lucy even has a clue.

“Come in,” I said as I waved her inside, shutting the door behind her. “Sorry I was just getting out of these…clothes.”

“I can see why, that dress is gaudy,” Raven said, her nose scrunched up in disgust. “It’s the color of pea soup.”

“It’s dreadful,” I said as we both had a chuckle.

“I actually came here hoping you’d come out to the garden with me,” Raven said. “I wanted to talk with you about something important.”

“Of course,” I replied. “Want me to throw that gown back on?”

“Good gods, no,” my sister replied. “Wear something more comfortable and throw it in the bin. The bushes and trees need a bit of trimming.”

I quickly got dressed and hurried out to the gardens to see her standing there, smelling the roses on the rose bush with a happy grin on her face. She took her hand pruners, cut off a rose, shaved off any thorns , and placed it behind her ear. Dressed in her favorite black overalls, the knees worn out from all her work in the garden.

“Hey!” I called out, and she waved to me as I ran over. “Ready to get some work done?”

“Well, the gardener certainly isn’t doing it right,” she sighed. Raven was very particular about the family garden and had a long love affair with botany and the art of florism— a rare trait she’d picked up from our mother besides her kindness.

The garden had always been a place of happiness for my sister and I. We’d spent hours when we were seven, planting a patch of daisies together towards the back, daisies that have come back every year since. It was almost like a sweet little symbol of our sisterhood, but unlike the daisies, our relationship—though still close— had changed quite a bit.

Due to father constantly doting on her, she hadn’t had much time to spend with me anymore. And while our emotional connection had not wavered, her physical presence in my life had. Which of I’m being honest, hurt.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” I asked, feigning ignorance. The anticipation of what she was about to say already stinging like nettles across my skin.

“This whole thing has been kept very hush, so I’m sorry I haven’t told you sooner,” Raven said, sounding a bit nerved up herself.

“What whole thing?” I asked.

“You know the Blood Moons?”

“How could I forget?” I responded, my hands shaking so badly I had to sit back and put them on my lap.

Here it comes.

“Father hates them,” I said as the sun beat into one of my eyes, causing me to squint.

“Yes, well, that’s all about to change,” Raven said, and I expected a glum look on her face. But instead, she glowed. Her cheeks turning pink. “I’m engaged to be married to Blake.”

“Alpha Blake?” I asked, my muscles all tensed up.

“I know, but father was wrong about him! He’s amazing, Freya,” Raven gushed, and I had no choice but to sit there and listen to her fawn over him. The man of my dreams. Pretending I hadn’t made love to him in a drunken night of passion, only to fall for him and her words imprisoning me in a rabid cage of emotion that I couldn’t get out of.

“I’m in love with him,” Raven professed, and I felt my heart shatter. I wanted to tell her everything. That this was wrong. That I loved him…but I couldn’t.

Not when she smiled like that.

I couldn’t crush her like I’d been. It wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t have known…

“Don’t worry,” I said with a smile, fighting back tears, my throat burning as I spoke. “I’m happy for you.”

“Really?!” Raven exclaimed, then let out a sigh of what I can only imagine was relief. “I’m so happy, your opinion matters so much to me.”

“Yeah, of course, sis,” I say with a nod, clearing my throat and trying to will the tears welling in my eyes to retreat. “I just want you to be happy.”

“Well I want you to be happy too,” Raven replied. “And I know you’re not, Freya. I know how you feel about this whole Dark Star thing, and now you’ve agreed?”

“What other choice do I have?” I replied, allowing my tears over Blake flow in the guise over tears about Matt. Something I would never have to worry about if I got my way.

“I’ll talk to him,” Raven insisted. “He will listen to me.”

“He didn’t listen to mother, Raven,” I insisted, not wanting Raven to gain the ire of our father over something that would never be.

“He doesn’t respect her in the same way,” Raven sighs. “It’s sad, but I’ve heard him say it himself. I will get him to annul this disgusting agreement.”

“T-Thank you,” I said as Raven pulled me in for a big, tight hug.

“I’ll always be there for you,” Raven said, and though I knew it was a lie, I echoed it back.

“And I for you.”

I was well aware that once I left, the chance of me seeing her again were slim. And even if I abandoned the call to the royal court, it wasn’t like I could stay there. Raven could only protect me for so long, and once she no doubt moved in with the Blood Moons, I knew in my heart I would be locked away or given away to someone far worse than Matthew. Whomever my father felt he could gain something from.

“The party for the engagement is tomorrow,” Raven said. “You’ll be there, right?”

I wanted to tell her I wouldn’t be, that I’d be long gone, heading for the royal city while the hustle and bustle kept everyone distracted and busy. But as much as I loved my sister, I couldn’t trust her not to try to stop me or tell our father.

“Of course I will,” I replied with nod, feeling a twist in my gut as the lie hit the air.

“Good,” she said with a grin on her face as she went back to pruning the apple tree. “Just… don’t wear that for awful gown that maid gave you,” she said, and we both giggled underneath the late summer sun. The two of us enjoying our time together— a time I didn’t know if it would be our last or not. But it was a time I hold precious to this day nonetheless.

That night I left it all behind, just as planned. With tears streaking down my face in the cool of night, I resigned to the fact that it would be my last time there. Saying a silent goodbye to Raven she would never hear.