Mag-log in“I said where did he touch you?” Aaron walk towards with his dangerous aura as sniffs in anger scanning my body with his eyes like he was trying to find some hickeys and marks of touches on me. “You are mine, mine and nobody touches what belong to me. Bring that bastard in”Aaron said for me to start tearing up as I felt stupid for running away.
view moreまさか、あのイケメン俳優、生田蓮(いくたれん)さんと、こんなことになるなんて――。
***
朝の八時。自転車に乗り、家から約五分くらいの距離にある保育園に、娘の柚希(ゆずき)を連れて行く。
「じゃあまた後でね!」 年中さんのクラス『うさぎ組』の教室で寂しそうな表情をしている柚希と思いっきりハグをして保育園を出る。園を出ると、そのまま近くにある私の仕事場であるスーパーに向かう。
「おはようございます!」 「おはよう、葵ちゃん。今日も暑いね!」 「暑いですね、ちょっと自転車で走っただけなのに、もう汗だくですよ」女子ロッカー室でパートの人たちと軽く会話をしながら制服に着替え、胸元まである髪の毛をひとつに纏める。広場に集まり、朝礼が始まる。それが終わると売り場へ。
ちなみに今は七月だ。最近は、もわもわっとした暑さで、ちょっと夏バテ気味。
私、江川葵(えがわあおい)は、子供が生まれた後に離婚した。理由は元旦那の不倫。
私が妊娠している時から帰りが遅くなったり、コソコソしたり、なんだか怪しいなとは思っていた。けれども、問い詰めて喧嘩になって別れれば、これから生まれてくる娘と私は路頭に迷ってしまうのでは? なんてマイナスなことばかり考えてしまい、なかなか真相を確かめられずにいた。
ただでさえその怪しさのせいで、彼に対して気持ちはいつもモヤモヤしていたのに、生まれてきた子供には全く興味を示さないし、彼はずっと自分中心のままだし、私はひとりで子育てしてる状態で、とにかくもう、いっぱいいっぱいだった。
そんな時、私は見てしまった。彼のスマホを。
彼がお風呂に入っている時に、テーブルに置いてあった彼のスマホの音がなり、画面が明るくなった。さりげなく覗くと誰から来たのかが丸見え。『あ・り・さ♡ 』という名前が。
「なんだこれ、いかにも怪しい」 いけないと思いながらも、まだ幼かった柚希を抱っこしながらその名前をぽちっと押してみた。『ずっと一緒にいたい♡たーくんは? ありさは、今すぐ会いたいよ!』 私は目を細め、無言で画面を暗くするボタンを押した。 見なかったことにしようとも考えたけれど、柚希が夜中に何度も目覚める時期だったから、寝不足でイライラしていたせいもあり、カッとなってきた。スマホを浴室まで持っていって「恋人からLINE来てたよ」って冷たい口調で伝え、そのままスマホを渡して勢いよくドアを閉めた。それからお風呂から出てきた彼とバトル。
普段、言いたいことをなかなか言えずにいたから、彼への不満をほぼ全て言った。彼は、不倫をあっさり認め、私の話もただ聞き流すだけで、向き合ってはくれなかった。日頃の俺様な態度とこの事件。もう一緒にいるの無理!ってなり、間もなく離婚。
離婚してからもう三年が経った。今は離婚して良かったと思っている。シングルも、金銭面だとか時間とか、色々余裕がなくて大変だけど、気持ちが前よりも穏やかにいられるようにもなったし。
仕事の昼休み。
柚希は保育園で給食が出るし、いつも朝バタバタしちゃってて、自分のお弁当を作る余裕がない日も多い。だから、お昼ご飯はおにぎりだけとか、たまにここのお惣菜を買う感じ。今日は鯖がメインで野菜もきちんと色鮮やかに揃っているお弁当を買った。自分で作るよりも、栄養バランスが良いと思う。
お会計を済まし、裏にある休憩室に行く。「葵ちゃん、お疲れ様! こっち座って?」
「あ、お疲れ様です」 一緒の時間に休憩に入った、二十歳年上のパート、和田さんの横に座る。彼女は手作りのお弁当を食べながら、休憩室にあった女性向け雑誌を手に取っていた。 「この人、かなりイケメンよね! ほら、腕の筋肉もすごいわ! こんな人、どう?」 表紙に大きく載っていたイケメン俳優、生田蓮を指さすと、私に訊いてきた。 どう?って言われてもなぁ。 「うーん。顔はイケメンだけど、どうですかねぇ?」 離婚話を詳しくしちゃってから「この人どう?」だとか、和田さんはよく質問してくる。 適当にはぐらかしてしまうけれど、恋人なんていなくても、今はそれなりに柚希といられる日々が幸せだし、このままでも良いかな?って思っている。休憩時間が終わる時、食後の歯磨きをしながらふと疑問が。
――なんか、あのイケメン俳優、よく見かける気がする。どこで?
誰もいないトイレ。
鏡を見ながらひとりで私は首を傾げた。その疑問は数日後、解決する。
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