"Angel, let's drop by at the nearest Jollibee to get lunch. I'm sure you're starving," Mad says when we are in his car.
"I'm fine; I'm not hungry, Mad. We can head straight to school; we can't be late for our class."
"No, we should take our lunch. We still have 20 minutes; it will be enough for a quick bite," Mad insists.
"Yes, let's do it then." I know he hasn't had his lunch yet. He must be hungry by now, and I'm guilty of not agreeing to his suggestion at first.
Mad shows a brief smile as he glances at me. "Max needs you; you should take care of yourself too. My mom always says that we can't take care of other people if we are not well enough."
"Thanks. You had a sweet mom."
Finally, we approach the nearest Jollibee drive-thru after 3 minutes of driving. A service crew is happy to attend to our orders, and it only takes like 5 minutes to have our lunch in a box. Maddox insists on paying for both of our meals.
When I take it from the service crew, the box is warm, breathing its burger and spaghetti aroma, which causes me to realize that I'm starving. How can I not notice it earlier? I feel like devouring the happy meal inside the box.
"Angel, you can have your lunch; I'll have mine when we get to school," Max urged me when I set aside the boxes of meals.
"No, we can have it together; I'm not that hungry anyway." I lied.
"Well, if you say so."
It's hard for me to digest everything that the vet told me. My mind is preoccupied with what Max is going through right now. It pains me to realize Max has to be alone, and I can't be with him all the time in his treatment. Only Max and the Vet are on my mind on our way to the Harper International School that I haven't even noticed we are near the massive gate of our campus.
"So, let's eat here?" Mad exclaim. He must be starving like me.
"Sure, that's a good idea instead of heading to the school canteen."
"Yeah, we can talk here as well. I mean, if you want to," Mad says as he takes the meals I set aside. "This is for you." Mad, hand me one pack lunch.
I take it from him and open it immediately, excited to have my lunch with Maddox. Wait... God, this is my first time to have lunch with him. Since the first day I met him; I never thought he could be this humble.
I close my eyes as I sniff a mouthful burger; it smells divine. My growling stomach protests. "Smells good."
"Yeah"
"Yummy. God, I'm starving." I take my first bite, and so does Maddox.
"Now, you're hungry; I told you to have your lunch first; you didn't," Mad says, focusing on his food.
"It's better when you have a company. I can't eat alone while you're driving. I can't do that."
Maddox stays quiet, enjoying his burger. We have the same lunch. Maddox, just matching what I ordered first, burger and spaghetti. It's weird to have it together, but I'm craving it. So, why not?
"Mad, thanks for coming with me. Really appreciate you taking the time to visit my dog."
"Don't mention it. We're friends. This is what friends do, Angel. I don't wanna hear you like this again."
"But I can't help it. I'm overwhelmed."
"Get used to it," Mad says, his voice is clear and firm. Even if I can't clearly see his face covered by his curly hair, his eyes tell me the truth. I know he is sincere, so I press my lips in a thin smile in agreement. "Do you wanna talk about it?" He asks.
I got his questions; I know he is talking about Max's diagnosis. A silence lasts for a few seconds before I face Maddox again. I sigh when our eyes meet. "Mad, it's hard. I don't even know if I can discuss it with you now. But I want to let this out of my system. Can I trust you?" I ask; my voice is brittle.
"Of course, you can. But first, let's finish our lunch; let's talk when we are full enough."
I nod in response and then start having my spaghetti. One of the best things to have when I am a little bit depressed. A little spicy and sweet at the same time.
"I have an idea," Mad says as he rolls up his orbs, who seems to be thinking of an idea.
"What?"
"If you get to finish first, I'll treat you for lunch tomorrow, and if I get to finish first, you'll treat me for lunch tomorrow. Game?"
"Game," I agree and then start digging on my spaghetti. I am confident of winning since Maddox barely touches his spaghetti yet. I devour the pasta in my mouth like never before and don't even bother to check on Maddox until I announce myself a winner. "Finish," I exclaim.
Maddox's eyes widen, disappointment crosses his features. He still has one fork of spaghetti in his hand before he finishes it. So, it's confirmed that I won a lunch treat the next day.
"You are such a big eater, Angel. How did you do it?" Maddox's mouth is covered with spaghetti sauce all the way to his nose and even on his cheeks. Such a messy eater.
"Actually, I'm still a maze; you only have one twirl of spaghetti in your hand. When we start, you barely touch your spaghetti yet while mine was almost half."
"Unfair," Mad says with a scornful face. I know he is pretending to be mad.
"Yeah, but I'm still the winner. You can't take it back." I pouted like a stubborn child.
"Alright then, free lunch tomorrow, AGAIN," Maddox emphasizes the last word like he is annoyed.
I like his sense of humor. For a short time, I forget Max's health condition.
"Is it Max again?" Mad ask. He must have noticed my facial expression dulls.
"Yeah. I'll tell you what happened."
I'm all ears."
"The Vet said that Max has pulmonary fibrosis, and it hasn't been detected early, so it is acute. I don't fully understand everything he said, but I know for sure that it's not gonna be easy for Max. I'm scared. This is the first time I got scared of my boy; he was admitted before but not this worse."
"It's gonna be okay, Angel; Max will fight for you. He's a good boy and a fighter."
"I can't help but blame myself that it has come to this. Maybe Max hasn't got enough medical attention. I am not certain of anything right now. Was it the cheap clinic I used to take him to, or was it just me who was neglectful? I don't know, Mad, I don't know." My chest tightens, thinking of what might happen to Max. I can't take it; I only have Mom and Max.
Mad held my arm, which made me shift on him, locking stares into his eyes. "Don't blame yourself; I know you love Max, and that would be enough. Now, what you can do is take care of him and let's wait for the development. Dr. M's clinic is really good in handling patients."
Maddox's voice is one of the softest I have heard in my life. His voice gives assurance that everything will be fine, where in fact, I knew that it wouldn't. I forget the pain for a moment, and it seems surreal to have his hand on my arm, giving me comfort from my sorrow. I never knew that a simple gesture of touch could change me. Nobody ever showed me this kind of affection before.
“Mad?”Maddox pulls me close to him and wraps his arms around me. My hands voluntarily wrap around Maddox’s body. He is warm, unlike the Christmas weather. My heart is pounding in my chest like the beat of a drum as we keep our bodies close to each other even more.We are both speechless until I hear Maddox cry. I feel so bad for causing so much pain to him. I hate and blame myself for every hurt Maddox is bearing. I gently pat Maddox’s back.“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Mad.”“It’s okay.” Maddox loosens his arms around me. I glance up at Maddox, trying to make eye contact with him.I can't
It’s December 24, the loneliest Christmas in my life without mom. This is the only yuletide season that I don't like celebrating. I've never felt like having Christmas since mom was in her bad condition.Dad asked me yesterday if I’d want to have an out-of-town vacation with my friends but I declined. I don’t want to leave the city as it seems like leaving mom. I know dad couldn’t ask me to join them for Christmas since his wife would be against it. So, I told him I'm staying in my condo.I'm having instant food for breakfast as I am starving already. If mom was here, she'll surely prepare something nutritious for me, she won't settle for instant breakfast.The doorbell rings while I'm eating my morning oatmeal. I wonder who would want to visit me as
On my first day without mom, I visited our old apartment in the hope of reminiscing about those times with mom in our nest. I fix the things mom left as well as my room for me to stay in. Everything is in chaos.There are spider webs on the ceiling, and dust on the sofa and on the floor. The apartment smells like an old building that hasn't been used for years. I can’t believe how much dirt it accumulated during the short time we’ve been staying in Singapore and at my mom's funeral.I start cleaning the small living room, the kitchen, and the dining area. It took me almost an hour to finish even in just a small area. Next is my room before cleaning my mom’s room. My room is just as messy as the living area. I have to put some of the papers in the trash to make space for my school materials.
Time stops…I don’t even know where Cassy and her minions get the nerve to visit mom’s funeral. The audacity they have is incomparable.“Hey, what do you guys think you’re doing here? Seriously? This is not a show.” Lea asks Cassandra as she gets close to mom’s coffin.Cassandra snorts. “We come here with good intentions. I know this is hard for Angel to lose everything, right? Not just her mom but also Maddox.” Cassy says the latter with a hint of tease. "That's why we're here to ease her pain. I know how it feels to be left alone."“Cassandra…”I can’t be wrong, I know exactly
Lea comes to us in mom’s room. Lucy is on the left side of the bed as she was trying to help mom make it comfortable and probably breathe easily. Mommy is like running out of breath which is worse than usual.“Mommy…” I hop on the right side of the bed.Mom only moves her teary eyes. She looks at me, her lips parting like she wants to speak up but is unable to because of the shortness of breath.“Mom it's okay, I’m here. You don’t have to say anything, mommy.”“Angel, is Aunt Athena normally like this when she wakes up?” Lea asks, her voice trembling in fear.“No Lea, this is the worst one but mom will be
It’s another day in Singapore and our last day to be exact. With a heavy heart, I pack mom’s stuff to prepare for our flight.“Mom, are you sure about this?”“Angel, this is the best decision I know. Let’s not argue about this anymore. We will have more time together in the Philippines.”Dad didn’t disagree with mom last night. I don't know why. Dad probably only wants to give whatever mom wishes. He immediately booked tickets for all of us. Although it is hard for him as well. I saw it in his eyes last night, he was sad.I knock on dad’s door to check on him. He let me in. Dad's luggage is open while his clothes scattering on his bed. "Dad, let me help you," I volunteer as I
“What is happening here? Ms. Lucy? Candace?”They both look back at me while helping mom on the bed. I see mom is having difficulty breathing.“Mommy, I’m here.” I walk over to mom’s bed and sit on the edge of it.“I already gave her the medicine Angel. Athena will be fine in a few minutes.” Candace says.“Thank you guys, but you should have told me earlier.”Mom holds my arm. “Angel…” Mom says between breathing heavily. “I told them not to…” She pauses for another heavy breath. 'I’ll be fine, don’t worry.” It’s hard for mom to utter a sentence.
Around 11 in the morning when mom wakes up. Mom’s eyes look tired, the dark circles have been getting bigger and bigger for the past few days.“Angel?” Mom smiles lazily as she looks at me.I smile back at her as I walk over to the bed. “Mommy, I’ll help you sit on the bed.”Mom is so light that I think I could carry her like a baby. She loses too much weight while battling cancer. I sit mom in the bed and put a pillow at her back to make it comfortable.“Mom, what do you wanna have for breakfast? I’ll cook it for you.”“Angel, what’s wrong?”
It’s 9 in the morning and I’m here in the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. The dark circles in my eyes are getting bigger. I wash my face with water hoping it will help me awake as I only slept for at least 3 hours.It was hard to watch mom in pain last night. I was helpless thinking and knowing there was nothing I could do to ease her pain. Angelo and I were with mom until she was able to sleep.Mom is still sleeping when I walk out of the bathroom so I head to the kitchen to drink some water and check on Candace, Lucy and Angelo.“Good morning, guys. Were you able to sleep?” Candace and Lucy turn back as I grab a glass to pour some water.“Good morning, Angel.” They greet me in unis