You Chose Secrecy, I Chase the Light

My voice was loud enough for every coworker around us to hear clearly.

For a moment, the entire room fell silent.

Then, Mark Perrette spoke in that same gentle voice, except he was talking to Katrina Palmer.

“Kat, are your feet hurting from standing so long? Let me carry you.”

Without missing a beat, he withdrew his hand and swept Katrina into his arms.

It was as if nothing had happened, and he had not heard a word I said.

It was as if I was not even there.

That familiar sense of helplessness washed over me again.

He was treating me like I was invisible again.

Mark always said we had to keep our distance around our coworkers.

So, unless it was about work, he would deliberately ignore everything I said.

Then, he would somehow turn it into yet another excuse to fuss over Katrina.

Once, when I was running late, I asked him to hold the elevator. Instead, he asked if Katrina was cold from the draft and promptly pressed the button to close the doors.

Another time, I had a cold and asked him to bring me something warm to drink. He noticed Katrina was sweating and cranked up the air-conditioning instead.

One rainy evening, I asked if he could drive me home. He noticed Katrina had no umbrella, offered her the front seat, and drove her home even though she lived in the opposite direction.

Before long, everyone at work took his lead. Everyone pretended not to see me.

I had thought I was used to being ignored and forgotten.

Yet watching Mark and Katrina wrapped up in each other as if they were alone in the room still left a bitter ache in my chest.

In the end, the difference between being loved and not being loved could not have been clearer.

Someone snorted. Then, one by one, the rest of my coworkers began to snicker.

“There she goes again, putting on a whole show by herself. On top of that, she’s in a wedding dress. You’d think Mr. Perrette was here to marry her.”

“Can’t she see that Mr. Perrette is so sick of her he won’t even acknowledge her? He moved up his wedding just to avoid her, but she still couldn’t take a hint. Imagine throwing yourself at a man for eight years with no shame.”

“She’s even making suggestive comments at Kat’s wedding to get into her head. She really is desperate to come between them.”

As their remarks grew increasingly vicious, Katrina raised a hand and stepped in.

“Please don’t talk about Emily like that. She was only trying to liven things up. She meant no harm.”

However, her carefully vague defense only made me sound guilty, which set off another bout of cruel laughter.

Mark finally frowned and cast them a warning look. His tone left no room for argument as he said, “That’s enough. You’re upsetting Kat.”

Then, he turned back to straighten Katrina’s hair without sparing me so much as a glance.

Our coworkers erupted into delighted laughter and knowing cheers, swooning over them.

I had never felt more humiliated.

He had stood by while they mocked me and did nothing to correct their misunderstanding.

The moment Katrina spoke, his first instinct was to protect her feelings. He even silenced the entire room for her.

It made my attempt to end our relationship look exactly like the one-woman show they had accused me of staging.

The stench of the service alley still clung to me, a humiliating reminder of the state I was in.

I tore off my veil and hurried out of the reception hall without looking back.

When I caught sight of the giant screen outside, I could no longer hold back my tears.

It was the display concept I had shown Mark while we were planning the wedding.

The screen had cost fifteen thousand dollars to rent for the day. With two thousand photos, a slideshow could run from morning to night without repeating an image.

At that time, Mark had called it flashy and accused me of wasting money.

Yet, photograph after photograph of him and Katrina were being shown for everyone to see.

That was why he had really made me use the back entrance.

He had hidden me so that he could show her off.

Unlike me, Katrina was never someone he felt the need to hide.