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~45 ~
Am I overreacting right now or that kids is really trying to get in another dude pant behind Ryder's back. Aren't those two like together now or I just thought and saw wrong.
Maybe am wrong but what if am not and he is just using Ryder to get in his bed. I coil my fist tightly under the booth table getting more irritated by their annoying giggling right in front of me even though his back was turned towards our direction.
I continued to watch him with ice cold eyes as he reached over and whisper into the other kid ear before getting up and heading towards the restroom.
"Babe? You're not paying attention" Tia voice snapped at me.
"Ugh, I have to go to the bathroom really quickly, excuse me" I stand up and shuffle past the waitress, Tia angry huff the last thing I heard as I exit into the restroom and after blue hair with the intention of breaking his stupid face if I find out he was cheating on Ryder.
My Ry.
I walked right into
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You Love Me ~46 ~
Jaden's POV*I couldn't sleep throughout the night. My mind was reeled up with the thought of Ryder and where he might be. His phone was still turned off, making it impossible to reach him.I have no reason to believe Simon was lying about him not being home and probably not coming back too. Maybe the man was just doing as he was told because he is upset with me and doesn't want to speak or see me which is absolutely okay.I mean, who would want to see a jerk face like me after everything I put him through emotionally. He has every right not to want to see me. I deserve it but am not going to give up that easily.Ryder can avoid me all he want but let see how he does it in school today because I won't stop until we have that much needed talk.I hurriedly brushed my teeth and got ready for school. I grab a cup of coffee and some bagel before hurrying out the door. Today is Monday and we have first period together so whether he wants to
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*I got into my car and drove in the speed of light towards the only place i have dreaded my whole life since my parent died.Images from that night still hunted me in my sleep when I go to bed at night. That distinctive smell of disinfectant and ambulance siren blowing from a nearby distance has being stucked in my mind since that day I found myself sitting in the EU, waiting for the doctor to tell me something, just anything that proves that my mom had pulled back to life but the more I waited, the longer it took and the more obvious it became to me, it had all ended in tears just like it did with my dad's.Tears could not bring them back no matter how hard I begged and cried my eyes out. They were really gone forever and I had to face the reality of their absence right from that very moment till this very day and I can tell you how fucked up that has been.You cry yourself to sleep and wake up to yet another day and begin again. It's a void that
You Love Me ~48 ~
*We walked into the hospital cafeteria and ordered two cups of black coffee with some extra cream in mine. I offered to pay for mine but Simon wouldn't let me so I thanked him and grab hold of it before we went over and got settled in one of the empty table close to the door.I look around for the moment, not very happy with the sight around me. No one seem to have a cheerful face in sight. Why was I expecting?, this is a freaking hospital for god sake and most people here, probably have a love one in there whose live was probably hanging in the balance and they are back here trying to keep their own mind from flipping over with uncertainty.I inhaled the delicious aroma of my coffee as it hit my nose and penetrate my senses, jolting me out of my thoughts as well. Sighing deeply, I took a sip of it and almost got burnt by it.Simon gave me a stare and I bite my lower lip feeling like a fool all of a sudden. "Allow it to steam down a little.
You Love Me ~49 ~
Ryder's POV*My chest felt a lot heavier than usual as I made my way out of Jaden's house and into the open and further down their pavement and towards my motor bike. I began to take deep breath in a bit to figure out what could be wrong. I knew the sadness of finally deciding to give up on Jaden was going to get to me but I didn't think it was going to restrict my air flow this bad and all of a sudden too.I climbed on to my bike but got hit by a gigantic wave that almost knocked me off to the floor. I thought about calling Jaden for help but remembered he was wasted and sleeping it off right where I left him a while ago.Dragging myself back to his house doesn't seem like a good idea either so I pulled out my phone and called the only person I knew would come for me even if I was in the middle of a freaking tsunami.I managed to climb back down as i dropped to the floor, my back laying flat against the ground, both my hands clutch tightly
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Jaden's POV*It was 7:30am when I glance at my watch yet again for the seventh time in a roll. The doctor was only in there for like thirty minutes before he left and Simon and his mom went in to check on him while I stayed back by the hallway, not sure if Ryder wanted to see me.I was afraid my presence by his bedside earlier was what triggered his reaction the first time and can't have him react the same way again. Waiting outside for now seem like the best move until am sure it's totally safe to go in again.I kept fidgeting the whole time. Just pacing around and thinking about all the damn reasons why he wouldn't want to see me.When the door crack open and I saw Mrs. Steward face, I almost ran for it. I asked her if he wanted to see me but she said no, she seem rather in a hurry so she didn't pay much attention to anything I had to say. She simply told me, she was heading home to prepare his meal before she quickly rushed down the
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Jaden's POVIs it just me or everyone else only think about sleeping and hiding away when they are sad and depressed, because ever since I got home from the hospital, I have been locked up here in my room just sleeping my sorrow away while shutting the world out like it doesn't exist.What is there to think about even . I just feel this great big void in my life that keeps drilling a really painful hole in my chest over and over again. It's even worst because nothing else seem to make sense any more so I can't even focus on the pain either. I'm just here wishing my thought away. It's like pretty much all the colors in my sky is either grey or plain black. I just feel completely and totally lost. Completely lost in this darkness of my own thought.Ryder hates me and that's fact. He really does and that hurt more than you can even imagine.Groaning out in frustration, i snuggle closer to my pillow and buried my face deep into it, getting all the
You Love Me ~52 ~
*Everything seem to be moving in slower motion as I began to walk towards my team mates with the sole intention of telling them the truth. I rather have all of them hate and judge me for my sexuality and be free than allow myself put up with Tia's manipulation for another day.I know am not perfect. I never said I was perfect because no one is fucking perfect. People just like to hide their flaws and put up a fake appearances to get people approval but that's besides the point am making right now.We all make mistakes and learn from it and I wouldn't call mine a mistake. I fell in love and it doesn't matter who this heart of mine has chosen to love and it's not something to be ashamed of. I admit i was scared of what everyone would think of me but not anymore.The world can judge me if they want but am done judging myself. I'm done listening to the voices that says, I don't fit into their idea of what love is suppose to be or how love is suppose to
You Love Me ~53 ~
*"How long Jaden? Just tell me how long you have been screwing him behind my back" Jasmine more than yelled at me yet again and I had to put a safe distance between us before she tries to hit me again. She looks like she is going to hit me again and I can't promise not to tie her to a chair if she does."Calm the fuck down alright?, it's true Ryder and I have kissed around a few times but we haven't been fucking If that's what you are referring to. I mean, it's true I love him but_""_You love him?" Her voice cut me off mid sentence. "Are you even listening to yourself right now? How can you say, you love him when you know I was the one that liked him first. I mean, everything was going so well between us until you probably seduced him or something and then got him to dump me like i was nothing and now, you stand here to claim to love him and have kissed around a few fucking times?, how long have you been laughing behind my back at my cluelessness" Her li
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