chapter 4

Arianne's POV

I woke up to Jace talking on his phone about his "ex-girlfriend" and the supposed to be closure for them.

But how could that be?

I am the ex that a few hours ago had surrendered herself fully to him. How can I be so stupid to think that in giving him my virginity, he will give us and our "love" a second chance?

Closure? Yeah I guess that's what we really need! Maybe it's for the best if we at least be civil to each other.

He's totally right, we have mutual friends and it'll be hard for us to ignore each other everytime we cross path.

But seriously, I don't wanna be friends or civil with him. Jace is my first love. And I made a promise before that "I will love him, understand him and wait for him" until the end.

Maybe I'd be a fool to say it now. But I think, only for him, I can let myself be broken and shattered by, again and again!

He's all I will ever love and will need in my life. And if I can't have him then I don't want anybody else!

Upon seeing him sleeping peacefully, I quietly and discreetly gathered my clothes and started to dress up.

As I finished, I look around and found a pen and paper on top of the bedside table. I quickly write him a letter.

Jace,

I hope that one day, you'll find it in your heart to forgive me. I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you. I swear if ever I would die and be able to live again, I would still choose to love you over and over again. But we have different worlds now. I'm not the same person that you thought you knew. I'm sorry Jace! Please take care of yourself and keep being happy!

_Arianne

I tried harder to suppress my emotions as I walk out of the building. I took a cab and ask the driver to bring me home.

Yes, me and my dad is also living here in New York.

I bet Jace will never find out about it.

When I found out that my dad is working now in this city, I was really glad. I've known through social media that Keller Industries main headquarters' is stationed here in New York and him being the CEO is supposed to be here too.

I'm partly hoping that I can be able to see him but upon seeing his reaction when he saw me at the wedding and hearing his words this morning, everything is clear to me now.

I've lost him for good!

"Miss we're here!" I returned to reality when the driver spoke up.

"okay. Thank you!" I said as I gave him my fare.

I grab my keys in my bag and open the door.

Home sweet home!

It felt really good to know that I have a home, and a loving and doting dad.

Since my arrival, my dad had been trying so hard for the two of us to live the way we used before all of these.

Of course, the only difference now is that it's just me and him.

And I swear to myself that I will strive harder to make my dad happy everyday of our lives. Because he deserved it more than anybody else.

"hey Daddy! Good morning!" I cheerfully greeted my father when I saw him sitting in our living room.

I've been accustomed in giving fake smile and happy face whenever I am around people especially my loved ones.

"Ohh hi miss! Do I know you? Are you sure about entering this house?" he replied sarcastically.

"Dad I'm sorry 'bout last night! I promise it won't happen again." I quickly come to his side and hug him tightly remembering I forgot to inform him that I won't be able to make it home last night.

"Okay Yanna! But please don't do it again. You know it's not safe and I didn't even sleep peacefully last night thinking and wondering where you are or if you're okay!" he said full of concern that made myself drown in guilt.

"I'm really sorry Dad! I was just so excited to see an old classmate of mine and catch up with each others lives." I said turning my head to the kitchen to avoid looking in my dad's eyes.

Also, I am not ready to sew another lie once he start to ask who I was with last night.

I just can't tell him it's Jace and that I gave up myself fully into him.

"did you had breakfast already, if not there something in the microwave. I have to go now, I have a meeting." he said while checking the time on his wristwatch. "And lastly, don't forget Deacon's flight is today. Tell him to have a safe trip for me okay!?!! Bye baby!" he said while rushing to the door not before giving me a peck on the cheek.

"sure Daddy! I love you! Drive safe!" I yelled at him while walking my way to the kitchen and grab myself a breakfast.

After my breakfast, I went to my room and took a shower. I gasped seeing my body with lots of bruised and hickeys. Of course it's from Jace. I took a deep sigh thinking of him.

It's just a few hours since I saw him but I'm already missing him. Maybe because now, I know I won't be able to have or feel him any longer.

He will just be a part of my past and nothing else.

When I'm done with my shower, I brush my teeth and blow dried my hair. Then I dress up with a loose shirt and shorts.

I set my alarm clock two hours before Deacon's flight, enough time for me to get ready and see him once again before he come back to the Philippines.

I know it won't be easy to say my goodbye to him when I know that for four years he's been with me through my darkest hours.

But I promise him that I'll be okay because that is all he asked from me whenever I thanked him for everything he's done for me.

And I will be okay and live happily. For my dad and my cousin, I will!

Maybe it's about time that I refuse to cry anymore.

I need to be strong!

For those people who loves me and care for me.

But it's kind of disappointing and frustrating that my brain and my heart keeps on beating towards one particular person. Traitors!

After a while I lay on my bed and try to stop my mind into wandering and thinking about a certain someone.

I made myself think of my life here with my dad. As a start, I have to check universities. I am now planning to further my education. I already have a college degree with a major in Psychology. But I don't like to be a lawyer anymore. I want to be a doctor instead.

I open my laptop and start checking universities and submitting my application. For now, I just have to wait for the result of it all.

And right now I need to rest. Both my body, mind and my feelings needs to rest.

I can feel the exhaustion of what me and Jace did last night. Though it felt good, my body is now at full rage from him tiring me all night.