A Loving Wife At Your Service のすべてのチャプター: チャプター 81 - チャプター 90

My conscience is doing a damn good job torturing me and pointing out what I just did…deep inside my head where it bounces and echoes and grows into something dark and guilt coated that is slowly driving me to regret what just happened. Even with that though I still can't deny my dissatisfaction. And the very fact that I'm hungry for more. But that would be low even for me. I open my eyes as the warm air rapidly cools my bare skin and that alone has a guilt effect. I growl and pick up the sweater and my underwear where it was discarded then push up to my feet. I can feel Evans gaze on me as I push the sweater over my head. "You cool?" He asks in a strange voice. I nod and hum in response. "Good night" I didn't wait for a response and scrambled off in a rush. When I step into the room I slip into the shower letting the cold water wash off the ripples of guilt bubbling up inside of me.* I run my fingers through my hair and exhale loudly. The only thing I can think of is how to

I scowl up at the ceiling moving to sleep on my side. I can't believe it's been two weeks of doing nothing and dying of boredom. All I do is eat and sleep and eat. Sometimes watch television but it stills sum up to boredom. I haven't stepped out of this room since the day I arrive back after Evans drops me off. My mind drifts to Evans and I sat upright on the bed olavong my chin in mu palm. We have been keeping in touch even after the sleeping with each other ordeal and sometimes I can't deny the awkwardness between us especially when we run out of things to say and neither of us hangs up. Things get like so awkward at that moment but sometimes things are normal as if nothing actually happened between us. And there is no denying how much I appreciate when we chat and laugh and flow… well until the moments fade. I have also been in touch with Liam too, maybe not as frequently as I would like but he is always so busy and the phone calls are always so brief and sometimes even as awkwar

I'm not screwing Liam behind his back. I will be telling him soon and that won't certainly be behind his back anymore. All I needed to do is find a perfect time then I'd be telling him. No big deal. Except it's so much of a big deal, my conscience fires back at me and my stomach only feels way worse. Not only my stomach though… the whole part of me. The instant the front door pushes open my heart does a crazy one off spin and I almost have a panic attack from all the fear bottling up inside me. But it turns out to be one of the cleaners, the one I believe to be the youngest. She walks in briskly and immediately bows when she spots me. "Good morning ma" I give a curt nod at her direction. "You are up so early today, is anything the problem?" "Do I look like I am not okay?" I didn't mean to snap but it sounded very much like it. I take in my bottom lip in remorse for my harshness. "You just appear a little pale, but maybe it's the weather" she chips in and she didn't sound a b

The days seem to pass by so quickly and all I can say I am not fine. I wasn't fine then and I'm not fine now. For me to reject food then yes it had to be considered serious, because jeez yesterday when Vilda brought in the chicken Kabab I had been certain I was hungry but I only ended up upsetting my stomach and causing me to vomit. And Vilda says I'm acting weird but I don't see anything weird aside from my loss of appetite and Vilda's probably worried about my quietness these days. It should be nothing… judging that fine and simply tired and not in the mood. And Liam, well he doesn't know about my weakness. Liam does call sometimes but I did notice a little strife between us ever since he got that phone call that interrupted his weird behavior that day. I wasn't being skeptical, just cautious. I still believe he did that to try to get me to confess. And maybe he already knew. Well there is no way I can know that unless he decides to tell me. I pushed the duvet off my face and y

I get home from the hospital feeling terrible. To be sincere, terrible feels like an understatement, I feel incredibly, stupid, sad, confused, angry and all other messed up emotions. I know I'm not meant to be this sad. Well I would not be this sad if Liam was truly the father of this baby. And everytime I think of that, the fact that I can be carrying Evans' child brings all the goodness in this news to a halt leaving only fear and anxiety in my heart. Could the child actually belong to Liam? I thought hopefully but almost immediately my body tightens with unimaginable fear. Who am I kidding, the child is obviously Evans, it was with him I had my last sexual encounter. And not Liam. Liam comes in later meaning he is done with what he had to do that made him leave me to come home by myself without him but with Vilda. He is dressed differently from earlier in a pair of blue jeans and black round neck top, with one of his hands stuffed in his pocket. My eyes follow his every movem