Lahat ng Kabanata ng Loving a Selfish Lycan: Kabanata 11 - Kabanata 20

"Sasha, it's good to see our Alpha has let you come out to play. Are you learning how to behave?" Cynthia approached me with a big hug and whispered in my ear."I'm trying my best to be his perfect mate." I said cunningly. She hated it that he chose me and not her. "Well, the next red moon he will have his true mate. Our Alpha just needed to appease his parents by producing a Lycan heir. Omegas are the best whores for the job." She smiled at me then sauntered off.My eyes narrowed in on her, praying for her death. She was so fake and pathetic. I looked around at all the people. I don't know why Blake wanted me here for this celebration, but my maid said he ordered my presence. I didn't want to see my pack, but I was tired of only walking from my room to his. Fake or not, it was better than nothing. I felt a hand to my back and instantly relaxed. I hated how he calmed me so easily."Calm yourself, Dove. A proper Luna doesn't show jealousy or anger." Blake whispered in my ear, standing

Every day for over a week I came to the dining hall for food. It was the only time I left my room and thankfully Blake didn't bother me. He thought he was breaking me down, but he was only building me up. Pain was all I knew and from now on, it would make me stronger.I felt him take others throughout the day, even when he was away from the pack house, and I felt the burning most of the night, but the pain was becoming less. It wasn't going away; it was just becoming my new norm in life. Burning flames ignited in my chest for hours at a time. It was nothing I couldn't handle though. My entire being seemed to be a punching bag for the supernatural world.I figured out that the men I sat around at the dining hall were our pack warriors, and they didn't care much for our new Alpha either. They would never speak such betrayals, but I cracked their code word, demon wolf, as a reference to Blake. Coincidentally, that was the same code name I had for him too. Maybe I was just making it more

After a while of crying, I dragged myself back out of bed and to the shower again. I was confused about Blake, but I knew it didn't matter. I made my choice and for once, I was choosing me.My hand rubbed over my large belly in sadness. If I reject Blake, he wouldn't let me be a part of their lives. I wanted to feel guilty about leaving them, but there was nothing I could offer them.They would be raised by Blake and his advisors. I didn't even get to know anything when we went to the doctors. They examined me then spoke to Blake privately. I would never really be their mother. I would be an image for the pack and nothing else. I didn't want to be that. I didn't know what I wanted to be, but it wasn't a breeding mate to Blake. I always knew it was a possibility at the chosen ceremony. I just never considered that was what Blake wanted of me. I was so naive to think he truly loved me.I ate my food, listening more intently to the warriors around me. I felt a little proud of myself that

Blake brought me to the fifth floor then out to the roof top. There were several black tables set up, a band playing, a table of desserts, and string lights up above keeping the whole area well lit."Blake! You brought Sasha." Charlotte approached us, first kissing her son's cheek, then giving me a hug. Blake's chest rumbled and his mom quickly pulled away. Did he not like even her touching me?"Take the breeder to have some sweets, Luna. Blake and I have things to speak of." His father Viktor appeared behind us and he looked pissed. I don't think he wanted me here. I definitely didn't miss what he called me. I thought Mistress was bad."Breeder? That is a bit harsh, dad." Bolton walked up next to him and ran his eyes over my dress. He seemed to like it, but once his eyes met mine there was nothing but disgust in them. I didn't know what that was about, and I didn't care."It's fine, brother. She knows her place, right Sasha?" Blake looked to me with a smile. Goddess, I wish I had the

I took my normal seat, but didn't look at anyone. I ate my food in silence and left to the library. I had all day to get lost in these books. I wanted to read another adventure story, but I needed information. I grabbed as many books as I could find about mate bonds and Lycans. I need to find a way to get out from under Blake.I spent hours researching and my stomach rumbled when suddenly the nice lady that ran this building set a sandwich and a lemon watermelon drink down at my table."Is this for me?" I asked her."Yes, prince Bolton requested it for you." She nodded to him sitting five tables behind me. I didn't know he was there. Prince? What did that mean? Oh goddess, he heard my every thought this whole time."Yes, I did!" He said in my head. I could hear his cocky smile too."Thank you!" I said to the lady and went back to my reading."Are you going to eat? You spent the last hour complaining to your kids how they make you so hungry.""Hour? How long have you been listening to