It takes far longer than I anticipated to get Cole settled into bed. Somehow the memory of his brother forcing him to receive Viagra and silver has become twisted in his head causing him to believe that he’s the rapist. I just don’t have the heart to explain that it’s the opposite when he counters my claim that his interpretation of events is wrong. It wasn’t until Deven gave me his Ativan that he was finally able to settle into sleeping in the same bed as his mate. The lad is truly exhausted and I don’t see much sleep happening for him with the awaking of this memory. I wait fifteen minutes after he’s fallen asleep before attempting to leave the room. It’s taken him nearly two hours to settle down. I walk back into the living room with Deven after he checks vitals on Jessa, flopping carelessly into the chair Cole left. His scent lingers on the cloth as I lean forward, placing my face into my hands. “It’s obvious that finding out about the shots he received are disturbing but I don’

(Cole’s POV)My briefly peaceful sleep is violently interrupted by my own screams. Without a moment to wake, I dart into the bathroom and kneel before the porcelain god forcing the contents of my twisted stomach into the water below. I continue heaving and retching despite there being nothing but bile available to pull out of inside me. My lungs burn as I struggle with a deep wheezing and my entire body shakes violently with pain and fear. I stay on the cold floor, trying to put the pieces together. I shake my head, unwilling to believe that it happened. That it wasn’t just a dream but a memory of what I ran from. Just like the description of sex that I gave Deven. Two shots leading to a painful hard on that the ladies ride. This is even more depraved than that. I whimper on the cold tile floor as I long to be held and cuddled like a young pup. It’s only as the sound of Jessa retching in the bed reaches me that I finally stand. I grab and lean against the wall holding my breath as m

“You’re still…” He seems to get cut off as my body flinches from the echo his voice produces. “I need you to come close.” Demetri nearly whispers. “What’s going on?” Deven asks just as quietly, allowing me to relax. “I haven’t worked with a fully trained empath so please pardon me if I tell you what you already feel. He’s in bad shape mentally and physically. This is one of the worst panic attacks I’ve seen him in. The panic induced asthma attack that alerted me to his dire condition his first morning on my land wasn’t this bad.” There’s a pause before the cold of a stethoscope can be felt on my back. Despite my sight not returning to normal just yet I am instinctively aware of how close to Demetri I am. I hold my breath as the cold metal touching me causes a painful burning that I can’t pull myself away from. “Breathe Cole. I can hear you wheezing and I need to hear how constricted your lungs are.” Deven instructs but I can’t and shake my head against Demetri’s shoulder in an

“No!” I yelp as I attempt to fight. Demetri’s hold tightens around me until I settle. “It’s okay. I’ve read your chart and the first few times I do this is going to be rough controlling your reaction. Sharing your previous experience with it helps the others understand why this is difficult.” I whine sharply as I feel the sharp tip against the inside of my arm again. “Very well done. I need you to describe what you feel.” “No.” I nearly yell again as I try to pull away. “It’s sharp. Just like a needle. Please stop putting it in me.” I finally break, completely defeated as the realization that I can’t get away and I can’t stop it overcomes me. Between the pain I’m in and the fear of this testing I can’t hold back any longer. I bury my face against Demetri’s arm. My body shakes as I finally allow myself to cry. I want to grab Demetri’s hand but something about the situation has me frozen. He massages my head gently, silently waiting for me to calm. “Demetri, can run your hand

“Take these to the lab for packaging. Testing for HSD is specialized and requires us to send it to the University. It’s early enough that we can prepare it and have it ready for this afternoon’s pickup.” “Yes ma’am” Sadie takes the bin and leaves the room. “Evelyn.” Deven speaks next. “Yes sir.” “Even though he has lost feeling below his knee he’s having an exaggerated pain response above it. It’s difficult to predict how he’s going to react to the medication. Ordinarily, these medications are painful for him so I need you to take your time giving them.” Deven explains gently. “Cole, are you still awake?” He gently pets the back of his head as I look down at him. His eyes are closed and for the first time in an hour he appears peaceful. I shake my head. “I think he finally found his peace.” I state quietly. “The pain he had in his back has been slowly dissipating so I’m going to slowly take my hand from him.” Deven explains as he starts standing up straighter. “I’m going to s