Irvin stared at me, feeling lost. He didn't know how to answer my question—and I wasn't alone in my feelings.Sometimes, his memories and emotions would resurface in the middle of the night, and he would jolt awake. And when this happened, he also couldn't help but ask himself the same thing. How could he have done all those things to me?Irvin wanted to understand it himself too. Were his actions born out of habit?Because of all the misunderstandings and hatred between us, he wanted me to suffer as much as he did. So, Irvin had gotten used to abusing me emotionally and hurting me. He had also gotten used to treating me as unimportant.And then, it had eventually become a habit for him."I always felt Julianne was the one you truly loved," I said. "You always had an excuse for her actions, regardless of what she did. I continued, "Plus, you always pampered her, always softened toward her, and always wanted to help her. You never once doubted her, and you still accepted her, eve
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