All Chapters of Losing Me, Memory by Memory: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

10 Chapters

Chapter 1

I stared blankly at the chat history on the tablet. A tingling numbness crept over my scalp, and I couldn't help but tremble all over as I read the lines over and over again. I still couldn't believe it was real.Yelena: "Fabe, I can't wait any longer. I want to be with you out in the open. I don't want to keep sneaking around like this."Fabian: "Darling, just give me a little more time. As long as she takes the medicine for a few months, she'll start to lose her memories from the past seven years. I'll coax her into divorcing me then."After that were messages filled with their filthy flirting.So, all the things he never said to me in the past year, he said them all to his female colleague, Yelena.I forced down the hurt as I scrolled further back. I discovered they had been together in the lab almost day and night for the past few months.During the day, they worked on developing an experimental drug. At night, they slept in each other's arms.Bits and pieces of the past kep

Chapter 2

I grew to like Fabian and purposely got closer to him. When I noticed how frugal he was, I often found ways to bring him food. From the early days of passionate romance to marriage, I was always the one making compromises for him.His mother, Donna Gibson, fell seriously ill after we got married. Fabian was busy preparing for his PhD qualifying exams, so I had no choice but to quit my job and stay home to care for Donna.As someone who never did any housework, I ended up personally caring for Donna until she passed away.To help him focus on work, I took on all the responsibilities at home. I even willingly gave up having two children, all because he thought it was the wrong time to start a family. I also wanted nothing more than to be a supportive wife.I didn't know when he started to grow tired of me.When I thought of the sweet and happy moments we once shared, there was an unbearable pain in my chest.The beautiful memories I once cherished had become obstacles in Fabian's

Chapter 3

I knew Fabian was worried about the drug's efficacy. After a brief pause, I shook my head calmly.A flicker of emotion flashed in his eyes, and there was even a moment of doubt.Seeing that, Yelena walked over and called out warmly, "Anya, Fabian has mentioned you so many times. I finally got to meet you for the first time."I could see the provocation in her eyes, but I found it laughable. I finally understood why Fabian had fallen for her. She was too much like the younger me. Yelena was bright, bold, and clever. She radiated a strong, lively spirit.What had erased those things from me? Perhaps it was the mundane routines of family life and days of not finding my worth. Maybe it was also the looks of disregard from the one I loved.I picked up my wine glass from the table and took the initiative to clink it with Yelena's. "Thank you for always having Fabian's back. I hope the two of you will become more in tune with each other over time," I said.For some reason, Fabian looked

Chapter 4

Over the years, I had knitted Fabian scarves, bow ties, socks, and sweaters.That morning, I saw Yelena's post about celebrating his birthday on Instagram. The attached welcome card was from a famous hotel.I turned off my phone notifications and focused on studying for my counseling course. I knew I needed to make a living after the divorce. Fortunately, even though my memory was fading, my ability to learn had not declined. After all, I no longer had to give Fabian my full attention and love anymore.I was learning surprisingly fast too.At 10:00 pm, I was ready to sleep after my shower. But I received a call from Fabian, and I wondered how he had the time to call me at this hour. I hadn't expected his tone to be off the moment I answered."Anya, do you really not remember what day it is today?"I looked at the night view photo from the hotel Yelena had just shared five minutes ago. Suddenly, I couldn't figure him out anymore. "Fabian, I'm a little tired today. I'm going to s

Chapter 5

I couldn't tell what the look on Fabian's face was about. It seemed to carry a deep regret and a lingering sense of loss."Anya, when I first came to the hospital, everyone thought I was hard to approach. You were the first person to come to me," Fabian said. "Being with you made me feel safe for some reason. Time has gone by so fast, and we've been together for seven years now."His voice caught as he said that. Then, he suddenly paused and turned his head away sharply.I glanced up absentmindedly and saw that his eyes were red-rimmed. That made me pause in surprise.Although a lot of my memories were hazy, I vaguely remembered seeing him cry only once in all these years. It was when Donna died, and he hadn't made it in time to see her one last time.When he returned from his long trip, he saw me standing calmly in front of what remained after the cremation. I was making sure it was all placed into the urn with care.He had held me and sobbed uncontrollably. "Anya, I don't have

Chapter 6

Why were Fabian and Yelena cornering me like this?I remembered why Fabian wanted me to finish the full course of the drugs back then. He was afraid that if I stopped halfway, my memories wouldn't be wiped clean. It was possible that I'd remember something unpleasant.But they shouldn't worry. I'd be out of the way soon enough. I wasn't planning to overstay my welcome, after all.I thought all this silently.Then unexpectedly, Yelena burst in with an expression full of resentment. The smile on her face was twisted and ugly. "Anya, there's an emergency in the lab, and we need Professor Hunt. Can I borrow him for a while?"Fabian failed to stop her in time, and he looked somewhat impatient behind her.Watching them, I suddenly felt a wave of disinterest.What a foolish man Fabian was.All relationships lost their spark after the initial excitement. If he couldn't endure these seven years, did he think he wouldn't face the same struggle with someone else? Only by tending to a rela

Chapter 7

To take care of Fabian, who was always too busy with work to eat properly, I had come up with many new recipes for his homemade lunchboxes. All these precious memories were kept in my phone.At 7:00 pm, I called him.Before I could speak, I heard Yelena's sweet, teasing voice on the other end."You're not allowed to answer. I don't care. I'm not done having fun yet. Let's continue."After a faint rustling sound, Fabian finally spoke. "Anya, I'm busy at the lab today, so I'm not coming back. Did you need something?"I looked at the table full of his favorite dishes and ended the call with a helpless sigh. I couldn't say I felt sad for him—only sorry. After all, this was the last chance I was willing to give him.After ending the call, I enjoyed the meal without letting them affect me at all.The truth was, I liked a lot of things he liked to eat. But after I got together with Fabian, I always let him have them. It turned out that enjoying something alone brought more happiness th

Chapter 8

These days, besides chatting with the people at the homestay, I'd wander around without any real purpose. This place had a strange way of calming people down. Everyone wore warm smiles on their faces.Honestly, their material life was simple. Yet, surrounded by such stunning views made their worries seem small and distant.I hadn't worked for years, but Fabian used to share some of his dividends with me whenever his lab started making profits. I used that money to invest and earned quite a bit. I also regularly wrote articles for a magazine, earning some freelance income.So after visiting several villages, I made a decision. I would begin to offer free medical consultations.Even when compared to Fabian, my passion for medicine was just as strong. From the day I started studying alternative medicine, I held the belief that I wanted to help it thrive. One person's influence might be small, but I was willing to try my best.When the homestay heard I planned to offer free medical co

Chapter 9

My remedies were made specifically for middle-aged and elderly people with weak constitutions. They were also prepared according to the local climate and eating habits. Because of these, my formulas grew more refined and well-developed.After large-scale clinical trials in the hospital, I improved and adjusted my formulas. In the end, I developed some remedies that were best suited for the local elderly. One of them was especially effective against rheumatism.Because of my free consultations, word spread among neighbors. I gained some reputation in the area as a result.When a reporter came by wanting to interview me, I hesitated at first. I had come here hoping to live a quiet life, but the women at the homestay encouraged me to accept the interview. So, I ended up sitting in front of the camera for a local wellness program.I gave a detailed explanation about alternative medicine and modern health concerns. I included professional medical knowledge and also simple lifestyle advi

Chapter 10

I said to Fabian, "Honestly, I don't remember much of our past."His eyes grew red-rimmed when he heard me, but he forced a smile. "Anya, I came to confess something. I won't ask for your forgiveness, but I think I should tell you the truth," he said."Do you remember the vitamins I gave you a few months ago? They weren't really vitamins but an experimental drug I developed. They can erase parts of a person's memory, and they haven't been released outside the lab."He lowered his head as he spoke, his voice growing muffled."I did it because I thought I had fallen for someone else. I couldn't bring myself to ask for a divorce because you had been so good to me. So, I came up with this idea to make a drug that would make you lose seven years of memory. That just happened to be the duration of our relationship."You trusted me. You took every dose without missing one, and then you really left me. But I suddenly found I couldn't accept any of this at all. I thought if you forgot abou

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