Chapter 140And in parallel, he was going to be exactly what he'd told himself he wouldn't be—adjacent to something he couldn't have, close to people who didn't know the half of it, managing information and compartments with the specific exhaustion of someone who'd understood, tonight, at his mother's dinner table, that compartments were not sustainable.His phone rang.He looked at the screen.Alyssa.He looked at the ceiling briefly, performed a rapid inventory of his available energy, and answered."Alyssa," he said, which was one word carrying several tons of implication."Four years, Jayce." Her voice was controlled in the specific way of someone who had been angry all afternoon and had decided that controlled was the version of angry that was most effective. "Four years, and you can't manage to show up to lunch. I had to sit in that restaurant for an hour. I called you eleven times.""I know," he said. "I'm sorry. Something came up
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