CHAPTER 80THE SCALE OF GRIEFISLANothings feels better than the way your chest feels lighter after a successful crying session. And did I feel lighter? As a paper!I lay flat on my back, staring at the ceiling like it might crack open and give me roses to make my life easier if I watched long enough. The tears had dried and my chest was now numb and light. My eyes felt— were swollen, my chest hollowed out, like someone had scooped pieces of me away and forgotten to put them back. I didn’t move, I barely breathed, I just laid there, numb, listening to the faint sounds of the dorm—laughter somewhere down the hall, footsteps, a door slamming. The sound of distant chaos was soothing. At least, someone else's life is not in ruins the breath of every dawn. Life, apparently, was still happening.After a while—minutes, maybe an hour, I can't really tell—I reached for my phone. Not because I wanted to scroll or because I wanted distractions. But because I didn't want to be alone in my hea
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