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CHAPTER 71WATCHING FROM THE SIDELINESROWANRecovery is a special kind of torture.That was the thought looping in my head as I adjusted the crutches under my arms and took another careful step across the rink corridor. I was the fastest skater on the team, and now, every movement felt deliberate and calculated. My body was now something fragile I didn't trust anymore. A few weeks ago, I’d been flat on a hospital bed, staring at a ceiling that smelled exactly like disinfectant and bad news. I could still remember the tone in the doctor's voice and the words he used when he told me I might need surgery and travel for it. Or I could either sit still and place minimal strain on the knee or stand a chance to become a retired hockey player before my career even started. I had hated every single word.Now, I could walk—if you could call this walking. My knee was healing nicely, according to the physiotherapist. “Progressing well,” she’d said with a smile that didn’t understand how suffoc

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CHAPTER 72ICE, APPLAUSE AND MAYBE GOODBYESISLAI took a seat high enough in the stands that no one would really notice me unless they were looking for me. The rink buzzed with energy, chants, whistles and the scrape of skates against ice. But there was a hollow space in my chest that none of it could fill.Asher wasn’t playing.I hated that fact with everything in me. Courtesy of one of the people that has threatened to make our lives hell. I folded my arms tighter around myself as my eyes scanned the ice. Victor wore the captain band like it was his birthright, and he wore it so proudly, like he hadn’t stolen it through manipulation and violence. I caught sight of my brother sitting on the sidelines instead. It was clear he was holding back his frustration from his clenched hands. He looked like a caged animal. This isn’t fair, I thought bitterly. But even with all that, my gaze kept drifting. I could only watch Ellis and Noah with marvel. They were like electricity on the ice.

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CHAPTER 73APOLOGIES ISLAWatching him from afar was one thing, seeing him up close was another. And the ache from up close was greater than when I was watching him from afar. If I feel like this, how on earth would I feel like if it was a complete heartbreak!? I'm fucking screwed. I didn't stop at the sound of my name again, I just kept walking. I don’t know if it was pride or self-preservation, but my feet moved on their own even as Rowan kept calling my name behind me.“Isla—wait.”I kept walking. I couldn't come face to face with him.“Isla!”People were still around, the post-game excitement still thick in the air. But his strained and desperate voice cut through it. He sounded as if he was afraid I’d disappear if he stopped calling.I swallowed hard, keeping my head leveled and my eyes dried and kept walking. “Are you seriously punishing me right now?” he said breathlessly. “I’m on crutches. If you want to punish me, please do it when I can run and catch up with you and not

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CHAPTER 74A BIG WINELLISYou know what an interesting watch is? Victor loosing his temper before he lost the puck.I saw it in the way his shoulders stiffened, the way his movements stopped being precise and started being angry. He charged instead of calculated, swung instead of aimed. It was ugly hockey. And coming from someone who liked to pretend he was untouchable, it was satisfying to watch. I had no idea what he discussed with Rowan and Asher, but whatever it was, I'm loving the impact of it. “Idiot,” I muttered under my breath as he missed an easy pass and slammed his stick against the ice.“What the hell is wrong with you, man!” One of our teammates shouted, clearly irritated by his recent plays. “Asher wouldn't play like that,” another added, and that seemed to anger him.“Shut the fuck up!” He said through gritted teeth. Noah skated past me, breath fogging in the cold. “He’s spiraling.”“Good,” I replied. “Let him.”The mistake cost us possession. Noah was already movi

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CHAPTER 75SHADOWS BETWEEN USISLAHow the hell did he know?The question echoed louder in my head than the thudding of my heart. Victor’s knowing eyes stayed on my face, like he was enjoying the way my fear struggled to stay hidden.God! I hate him. Now I see why They all hate him! He's a real definition for a cunning bastard. “That’s none of your business,” I said, forcing my voice to stay steady.He chuckled softly, walking closer to me and standing just a few inches past from me. Instinctively, I took a step back. “Relax. I’m not following you around or anything. Word travels fast on the ice rink.”So he has some kind of spies on the hockey team or what?I tightened my grip on my bag strap, my impatience overriding my blood. “You’re blocking my way.”“And you’re avoiding my question,” he replied mildly, taking another deliberate step closer. He wasn't touching me, he was just close enough to make his presence suffocating.And this time, I didn't take a step back to show I wasn't

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CHAPTER 76TEMPORARY BRAIN WIPEISLA“I missed you so much.”I stared into Rowan's eyes as we sat on the couch, I couldn't keep him standing for too long because of his knee. I had been staring into his eyes since I rested my ass on the couch and I couldn't stop. I don't know what it was, but there was something about his eyes that appealed to my soul and I just wanted to get lost in it. I was still completely in a trance when I noticed his mouth moved. “A penny for your thoughts?” I blinked, forcing my brain back to reality as I let out a small breath. “A penny is too small to buy my thoughts.” A small smile stretched on his face as he raised an eyebrow. “Name your price then, madame. I want to know what's going on in that head of yours.”“Any price?” “Yeah. Anything.” I held his gaze, giving myself enough courage to let out the next words that fell from my mouth. “A kiss.” A smirk grew on his face as he tilted his head as if taking a proper look at me. “You sure you want ju

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CHAPTER 77VOICES DON’T STAY QUIETISLAI wanted to ignore it. I wanted to fucking ignore it! And I should've. Because paying attention to that buzz drowned my entire dopamine. My chest started thumping before playing the audio. It was like my mind already knew something was up the moment I read that message. Why the hell is Victor and his stupid minions determined to make this life hell for me!“Is something wrong?” I turned to look at Rowan who was now looking at me with a worried look on his face. I blinked and swallowed. “Nothing yet.My fingers felt like they didn't belong to my palm as I tapped it. I stared at the small audio icon for a long second, my thumb hovering over it.“Just do it,” I whispered to myself.I was scared, and I had no idea why. I pressed play anyway, bringing the phone's speaker to my ears as I reduced the volume. At first, there was only a muffled sound. The sound of fabric moving against fabric, breathing, then…. My voice. It was soft and low, but unm

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CHAPTER 78THE SMELL OF BLOOD ELLISIt was a long day, but it was a beautiful and success match. Enough to get a scout's eyes on me. It was a win right?By the time I got home, my body felt like it had been dragged behind a moving car for over thirty miles. I was that exhausted. The bar had been loud, loud in it's usual loud way. Too many hands clapped my back, too many voices congratulating, laughing and replaying the goals over and over like we hadn’t just lived them. I’d smiled, raised my glass, and played my part. That was the beauty of being in an athletic team. But the way exhaustion clung to me was heavier than the alcohol ever could. I was thankful I wasn't dead.I kicked my door shut behind me and leaned against it, eyes closed as I let out a long tired breath. “Fucking hell,” I muttered.My apartment was quiet in that dead, late-night way that made every sound echo and make you realise you're alone. I shrugged off my jacket, let it drop to the floor, then peeled off my

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CHAPTER 79BLANK FACES AND BREAKING POINTSISLAI stood in front of my door for a full ten seconds before opening it.It was ten seconds of breathing in through my nose, out through my mouth. Ten seconds of telling my heart to stop trying to escape my chest. And ten seconds of reminding myself that if I let fear break me down now in front of him, I wouldn’t be able to put myself back together.By the time I turned the knob, my face was strategicallg blank but my heart was bleeding with fear. It's a good thing Asher cannot see my heart. God! Isla! When did you become so good at acting and lying?Asher stood there, tall and broad shouldered as usual. And angry. And the anger emanating from him was those quiet simmering ones. The kind that sat in his shoulders and jaw like it was waiting for the right tip to explode.“Hey,” I said lightly, stepping aside. “You look like you’re about to arrest someone.”He walked in without replying as I closed the door behind him and turned toward my be

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CHAPTER 80THE SCALE OF GRIEFISLANothings feels better than the way your chest feels lighter after a successful crying session. And did I feel lighter? As a paper!I lay flat on my back, staring at the ceiling like it might crack open and give me roses to make my life easier if I watched long enough. The tears had dried and my chest was now numb and light. My eyes felt— were swollen, my chest hollowed out, like someone had scooped pieces of me away and forgotten to put them back. I didn’t move, I barely breathed, I just laid there, numb, listening to the faint sounds of the dorm—laughter somewhere down the hall, footsteps, a door slamming. The sound of distant chaos was soothing. At least, someone else's life is not in ruins the breath of every dawn. Life, apparently, was still happening.After a while—minutes, maybe an hour, I can't really tell—I reached for my phone. Not because I wanted to scroll or because I wanted distractions. But because I didn't want to be alone in my hea

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