LENA It was three in the morning. The apartment sat in darkness except for the faint glow of the nightlight. Evan had been crying for two hours straight. I had tried everything, nothing worked. My body was still healing from the C-section. The incision burned with every movement, my breasts ached from constant feeding. I hadn’t slept more than an hour at a time in weeks. This was motherhood. The brutal part no one warned you about. I held him close and paced endless circles through the kitchen, living room, bedroom, and back again. “Please stop,” I whispered, voice cracking. “Please. I don’t know what you need.” His screams only grew louder, more desperate. I checked everything again. The diaper was dry. He had just eaten. Not too hot, not too cold. Nothing was wrong, except he wouldn’t stop and I had no idea how to fix it. I sank to the floor, back against the couch, and clutched him to my chest. “I can’t do this,” I murmured, tears mixing with his. “I’m failing you. You
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