The night Derek left to find Sarah, I did not sleep.Eli held me. His arm was wrapped around my waist. His chest was warm against my back. Hope slept in her bassinet at the foot of the bed. The apartment was quiet. Too quiet.But my mind was loud. Roaring.I thought about Derek's desperate face when he said he still loved her. That broken look I had seen so many times before. I thought about Sarah's lost baby. The pain that had driven her away across the ocean, then brought her back, only to leave again. I thought about Luca's new apartment, his new date, the way he had held Hope before he left. I thought about Eli. His patience. His kindness. Four years of waiting. Four years of watching me marry someone else, break, and come back to life with someone who was not him.I rolled over. Eli was awake. His eyes were open, staring at the ceiling.He asked if I was okay. His voice was soft. Tired.I said I was thinking about Derek.He said Derek was a grown man. He would make his own choice
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