The hospital room was painfully white.My mother had only just opened her eyes when she turned toward me and asked, in a voice so weak I had to lean closer to hear it,“Who is he?”I lowered my gaze and bit the inside of my lip.“I’m sorry,” I said. “I let you down.”She watched me for a long moment, then closed her eyes again. When she spoke, her voice was steadier, but only just.“If you don’t want to tell me, I won’t force you. But you will not attend the graduation ceremony. Finish your defense next week, and after that, you leave. I want you abroad before anyone has time to say your name again.”I nodded. “Alright.”That should have been the end of it, but standing there beside her bed, I kept seeing him anyway.The first time I met Cassian, I was nineteen and standing in the rain outside the institute, trying not to panic.My mother had sent me to deliver an original manuscript to a private trustees’ dinner that night, and I had left the document tube across the city in the resto
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