All Chapters of Wide Awake Without You: Chapter 1 - Chapter 9

9 Chapters

Chapter 1

I was about to leave when someone slapped the table and stirred things up again. "Don't go, Ethan. One more round. Let's make it interesting—who's got the most messages in their chat history?"Dylan Peterson smiled and slid his phone onto the table. "Sure, I've got nothing to hide."But when the results popped up, the room went quiet for a beat. The person Olivia Clayman texted the most wasn't me. It was Dylan.Someone let out an awkward laugh. "Wow, Olivia and Dylan sure do talk a lot."Dylan blinked, his tone light. "What can I say? Ethan's just too responsible—he carries everything on his own. Olivia gets stressed sometimes, she needs someone to vent to, right?"Then, almost casually, he tapped open one of their conversations. Olivia's message appeared on the screen. [Ethan keeps asking about the wedding timeline again. He's so uptight about it.]Dylan had replied: [He's just too wound up. Unlike me. Weddings are supposed to be fun.]Olivia sent back a laughing emoji. [That's

Chapter 2

I stood up, my voice quiet. "I'm tired. I'm leaving."I was almost at the door when I realized I'd left my jacket on the back of the couch. As I turned back, I noticed the door wasn't fully closed. Through the gap, I heard someone lowering their voice, trying to talk some sense into her."Olivia, you're really not going after him? Ethan looked completely pale just now."Olivia paused for a few seconds, but when she spoke, her tone was certain. "Ethan won't really be mad. He's too steady for that. He'll sleep it off and be fine by morning."My hand stopped on the door handle.Then she added, "Besides, Dylan's the one who got put on the spot by all of you just now. I should go check on him."I held onto that handle, feeling the cold seep into my fingertips.Steady. That word felt like a dull knife—no blood drawn, but it kept carving into my chest, slow and relentless.I didn't go back in. Just then, my phone buzzed. It was a message from the wedding planner.[Mr. Duggan, are you

Chapter 3

Back at the apartment, I started packing.This was the place Olivia and I had picked out together. She used to say that when we came home from work, the entryway light would be on, there'd be hot soup in the kitchen, and the balcony would be full of the camellias I loved. Just thinking about it, she said, made her happy.But now I realized—this home was full of Dylan's traces everywhere.The fridge was stocked with his favorite white peach sparkling water. His jacket was draped over the couch. And hanging next to my groom's suit in the closet, the best man's tuxedo was noticeably more polished than my own.I stood in the walk-in closet, staring at those two suits side by side. A dull ache spread through my chest.The wedding hadn't even started yet, and whatever space in Olivia's heart was meant for me had already been slowly filled by Dylan.I didn't cry. I just gathered my documents, my passport, and a few everyday clothes into a suitcase.Halfway through, I heard the door unl

Chapter 4

The next morning, I walked past the study with my suitcase. The door wasn't fully closed.From inside came Olivia's low, muffled laugh. Her computer was on a video call. Dylan, still in his pajamas, was lounging against his headboard, holding up a copy of the wedding vows."Liv, this part you wrote is way too formal," he said. "'Ethan, thank you for seven years by my side.'" He read it out loud, then chuckled. "Sounds like a company memo."Olivia laughed too. "I'm not good at this kind of thing."Dylan rested his chin on his hand, watching her. "You could write something like, 'You make me feel as light as spring.' Isn't that more romantic?"Olivia paused for a few seconds, her voice dropping. "That sounds more like you."The video went quiet for a moment.Then Dylan asked, softly, "Are you sure you want to write that for Ethan?"Olivia didn't answer right away. Finally, she said, "It doesn't really matter who I'm reading it to at the wedding. I'll just pretend I'm saying it to

Chapter 5

Olivia gripped her phone, her face slowly draining of color. "He's going to Ilyseland? Since when?"The wedding planner hesitated on the other end. "Mr. Duggan said he received the offer a while ago. He just decided to accept it today. He also said he'll cover all the cancellation fees himself—you don't need to worry about it."Olivia let out a disbelieving laugh. "I don't need to worry about it? He's canceling our wedding."The planner spoke carefully. "Miss Clayman, Mr. Duggan confirmed everything very clearly last night. He said this wedding no longer looks like something he wants."The words landed like a needle straight to Olivia's chest. She turned instinctively toward her computer screen. Dylan was still on the call, running a hand through his hair with a pained expression, his eyes red-rimmed."Liv, do you think Ethan's upset because of me? Maybe I should go talk to him."In the past, whenever Dylan said something like that, Olivia would rush to comfort him first. But thi

Chapter 6

Olivia's phone buzzed again. This time, it was the wedding planner sending over a file.[Miss Clayman, this is the final version Mr. Duggan confirmed before canceling. He said you could keep it as a memento if you'd like.]Olivia opened it.The first page showed the original white camellia wedding. The second page showed the version that had been changed to red roses. And next to every single modification note, it read:[Per Miss Clayman—Dylan's suggestion.][Per Miss Clayman—Dylan prefers this.][Per Miss Clayman—going with Dylan's choice.]One after another. Each one landed like a slap.It finally hit her. I hadn't suddenly given up on the wedding. She'd slowly replaced me in it, piece by piece. And I'd simply stopped wanting to stand in a place that was never really mine.She pressed her hand over her eyes, but the tears still slipped through her fingers.Meanwhile, the plane cut through the clouds as a pale light spread across the horizon. I sat by the window, watching th

Chapter 7

Olivia dropped to her knees in the snow.The cold was biting. When her knees hit the ground, there was a dull thud."Ethan, I was wrong. I'll never see Dylan again. I'll delete every single message. We'll redo the wedding—whatever you want, I'll give it to you. Just please come back."A few colleagues looked over from a distance. One of them started to step forward, but I shook my head and stopped them.I looked down at Olivia, kneeling in the snow.There was no hatred left in me. No pain, either. Just a quiet stillness, like the final settling of dust after a long storm."Olivia. What I wanted, you could never give me before. And now that I don't want it anymore, you don't have to try."She looked up, her face crumbling. "But I love you. I really do love you...""Then let it be that you loved me," I said softly. "I loved you too. But this is where we end."I turned and walked toward the hotel. Olivia reached for me, but one of my colleagues stepped in and held her back. She k

Chapter 8

Later on, Dylan's reputation in our social circle completely tanked.At first, it was just the video from that party night that started making the rounds—Olivia listing off his ten good qualities, their names popping up as each other's top chat contact, the way she'd slowly reshaped my entire wedding around his taste. On their own, maybe each thing could've been brushed off as "just close friends." But all together? It was so blatantly ugly that no one could pretend otherwise.People started throwing shade in the group chats. [Man, if they're that close, why'd he have to go behind his buddy's back and snake his girl?][Dude was practically editing the wedding vows for her—right before the wedding. No boundaries whatsoever.][What kind of buddy does that? That's straight-up in-your-face disrespect.]Then the old receipts started surfacing.On my birthday that year, Olivia said she had a last-minute work thing and couldn't make it to dinner. But Dylan posted a photo that same n

Chapter 9

That day, it was snowing in Ilyseland.I'd just finished shooting a time-lapse of the aurora, and my fingers were frozen stiff. On the other end of the line, Olivia's voice came through low and hoarse."Ethan, I know it's too late for anything I say now. But I really do regret it. Every day, I think about it—if only I hadn't said you were just 'easygoing' at that party. If only I'd run after you. If only I hadn't deleted the photo wall. If only I'd noticed how much you were hurting sooner..."Her voice broke apart toward the end. "Would we still be together right now?"I looked out at the snowfield in the distance and said quietly, "Olivia. There are no 'if onlys.'"The line went silent.I went on. "You didn't break me all at once. You broke me piece by piece, over and over. And I didn't fall out of love overnight. It was a slow accumulation of disappointment, one letdown after another. So your regret now—that's your burden to carry. It has nothing to do with me anymore."She ch

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