All Chapters of Under Observation: My Life in Mom's Notebook: Chapter 1 - Chapter 8

8 Chapters

Chapter 1

"September 3, sunny. Evie left the computer plugged in after using it for schoolwork. The adapter was hot to the touch, which is a safety hazard. I reminded her once. She didn't listen.""September 4, sunny. This is the second time. I reminded her twice, but she still didn't listen.""September 5, overcast. This is the third time, so I gave her ten slaps as punishment. My hand hurts, but rules are rules."That night, Mom called me into the living room. She sat on the couch with the notebook open on her lap, looking as calm as if she were at a parent-teacher conference. She had me stand in front of her with my arms at my sides and told me not to move."Evie, do you know what you did wrong?"My voice came out dry. "I didn't unplug the charger."Mom tapped the notebook with her finger, slow and steady. "How many times did I remind you?""Three times…""Three times." She nodded as if confirming a fact. "Rules are rules. If you can't remember them, I'll help you remember."Before I

Chapter 2

I didn't say anything. I went to the kitchen, poured myself a glass of water, and stayed in my room for the rest of the day.At noon, I heard her cooking in the kitchen. First came the chopping, the sizzle of the pan, and the hum of the range hood. Then I heard the clink of dishes and the sound of chewing, and finally the water running as she washed up.She never called me, even though she knew skipping a single meal gave me stomach pains.Sure enough, by the afternoon my stomach hurt so badly I broke out in a cold sweat. I left my room to get some antacids from the living room, but I'd barely opened the medicine box when Mom spoke up right behind me. "What are you doing?"I could hardly stand. I looked up at her and pleaded, "Mom, my stomach hurts. I just want some antacids.""I said no food, and that includes medicine!"With that, she carried the medicine box into her bedroom and slammed the door.I couldn't hold myself up anymore, so I lay down on the tile floor, gasping fo

Chapter 3

The school offered evening study hall, and I signed up without telling Mom. On the first night, it was already 10:00 pm when it let out. I turned on my phone, and three texts popped up.The first one came in at 6:45 pm. "It's past your curfew. Where are you?"The second came in at 7:45 pm. "Evie Kimball, call me the second you see this."The third came in at 8:45 pm. "If you're not home by 10:20, I'm locking the door."My heart lurched, and I called her on instinct. It rang and rang, but no one picked up.I only had 20 minutes left before Mom's deadline, and the main road would take too long. I glanced at the alley beside me. It was pitch-black. I pulled my jacket tighter and headed in, reassuring myself as I walked."If I walk faster, I'll get home in time. If I get home in time, Mom won't be as mad."But halfway down the alley, three men were standing in a corner. My stomach dropped, and I tried to go around them."Hey, sweetheart, don't run off.""Come talk to us for a bit.

Chapter 4

Did she write "Evie got into a fight and tore her dress"? Or "Evie disobeyed and hung around outside, and she needs stricter discipline"? Would she write "Three thugs dragged Evie into an alley and nearly assaulted her, but she got away, and my heart breaks for her"?No, she wouldn't. A word like "heartbreak" would never show up in her notebook. There were no feelings in it, only facts, rules, and conclusions.I called out softly, "Mom, don't you want to know who did it?""That's enough." She looked up at me calmly. "I don't want to hear your excuses. Your dress is torn, and that's a fact. You've got cuts on your face, and that's a fact. You didn't come straight home after school, and that's a fact too. Nothing else matters."Nothing else mattered. Three thugs had dragged me into an alley and nearly assaulted me, and that didn't matter. What mattered was the torn dress. What mattered was that I hadn't come straight home, and that her rules had been broken.I stood there and sudd

Chapter 5

It hurt. That was the last thing I felt.Blood sprayed out the moment the shears went into my chest. I collapsed onto the coffee table, and my forehead hit the hard cover of the notebook.When I lifted my head to look at Mom, she was frozen in place with her mouth open, unable to make a sound. Her hand reached toward me but stopped in midair."Evie…"She said my name, and for once her voice wasn't cold or mechanical. It was the first time in my life I'd ever heard her say it so gently.I lay half on the coffee table and half on the floor. She rushed over with her hands shaking badly, grabbed a gauze pad from the medicine box, and pressed it against the wound."Don't scare me like this! Evie… Evie, Evie!" She kept saying my name over and over, like a prayer.I suddenly wanted to laugh. She'd never shown me any feeling or warmth, and she'd never called me anything affectionate. Now she was saying my name again and again, as if she were trying to make up for everything she owed m

Chapter 6

Before long, the police arrived and took Mom and Dad to an interview room at the station."Evie Kimball's cause of death was a stab wound to the chest from a pair of shears, which ruptured her heart and led to hemorrhagic shock. Are these shears from your home? Why would your daughter take her own life?"Mom pressed her lips together. "I don't know."The officer gave her another look. "You don't know why your daughter took her own life?"Mom looked up at him uneasily. "She was emotionally unstable lately. Maybe it's because I was strict with her."So all her suffocating control over me was just her being "strict"? My heart shouldn't have been able to feel anything anymore, but it still gave a painful twinge."Strict? Strict how? Did you hit her?"When Mom didn't answer, the officer went on. "Your daughter's classmates say she often had bruises. She'd show up with handprints on her face, but she told them she fell."Her homeroom teacher says Evie never wrote about her home life

Chapter 7

The police investigation lasted a week. The day I was cremated at the funeral home, a lot of people came. There was Dad, my homeroom teacher Ms. Delgado, a few of my classmates, and some people I didn't recognize, probably reporters or people who'd come to gawk.Mom didn't come. It wasn't that she didn't want to, but that she couldn't. She'd been taken into custody on suspicion of child abuse, and the police said she wasn't allowed to be there.Before the cremation, though, Dad got a phone call from Mom. Her voice came through the line. "Let me see her. Please, just let me see her."Dad didn't say anything."I know I don't deserve it, but please. Just let me see her one last time."Dad hung up and walked over to my body. I was lying in a glass-topped casket, wearing a white dress."I'm so sorry. I should've taken you with me when I left."My eyes stung, but no tears came. I guess it was true what people said about ghosts not being able to cry.The cremation was over quickly. Wh

Chapter 8

After that, she started talking to me, looking right at where I stood."Evie. Evie, you came."I frowned as that old suffocating feeling came rushing back."You've gotten taller," she said. "You used to be this tall."She held her hand up to her chest. "Now you come up to my shoulder."I looked down at my see-through body. Maybe I had changed a little.Tears slid from the corners of her eyes. "I think about you every day, and every day I write that I'm sorry. I've filled over 20 notebooks now. Did you see them?"I nodded."Have you forgiven me?"She stood there with her head hung low, waiting for me to forgive her. I didn't answer, and I didn't want to."Evie," she said quietly, "I really know I was wrong now. I shouldn't have hit you. I shouldn't have starved you. I should've believed you."Her lips wouldn't stop trembling. "I should've held you…"I looked into her eyes. I could see a mother's love for her daughter in them, along with endless regret. I sighed."I can't co

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