Home / A Winter Without Donna / Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

All Chapters of A Winter Without Donna: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

10 Chapters

Chapter 1

I had just imported a batch of photos onto my computer when I heard a car pull into the courtyard and the engine cut off. I checked the time: one in the morning.Luca walked in, left the overhead light off, and loosened his tie before coming to stand behind me."Mark said you came by today to bring me medicine?""Mm," I said flatly."You were there and didn't even bother to let me know?" Luca asked.I selected an overexposed photo and adjusted the settings. "You looked busy. I didn't want to interrupt."Luca glanced at my computer, then at the camera battery charging beside it. He seemed relieved and didn't press me any further.Perhaps he was satisfied that I hadn't seen anything. Or maybe he knew I had, but trusted me not to make a fuss.Then Luca said, "Get the heating pad out. My shoulder's killing me."He took off his jacket and sat on the edge of the bed with his right shoulder toward me.Whenever his shoulder hurt, I used to warm up the heating pad and leave painkillers by his p

Chapter 2

Early Saturday morning, I went to the studio.The London office had sent another email the night before, confirming that I would start working on the portrait features the following week.When my assistant came over, I was naming the last photo folder.She asked, "You're really going to London?"I nodded."Yeah."She asked, "So this isn't just a temporary assignment?"I paused before answering. "I won't be back anytime soon."She didn't ask anything more.I went back to sorting photos. Just as I finished handing off my last project, my phone rang.It was Mark.I answered. The line was noisy.Mark asked, "Donna, where are you right now?"I told him, "The studio."Mark sounded anxious. "Donna, something's happened to the Don! A car backfired during a test drive, and he passed out. He even stopped breathing for a moment!"Before I could answer, Mark went on, "Donna, I'll send someone to pick you up. The Don needs you here."Most people would have been startled by a sound like that, nothin

Chapter 3

I was flying to London the next day.I packed the last of my camera gear into padded cases and checked my books and clothes again.There wasn't much to take.In ten years of marriage, Luca had bought me plenty of bags and jewelry, but I never felt any of it really belonged to me.That afternoon, Mark showed up unannounced to pick me up."Donna, the Don wants you at the old safe house. We've just upgraded security around the property. He's reopening it to protect someone important to the family."I hadn't been to that safe house in years.After the shooting, his family feared Luca was still a target, so they hid him there.Back then, he wouldn't see anyone except me.I stayed with him in that safe house until he recovered.It held his most painful memories, along with our sweetest ones.After he took over the family again, the safe house sat empty.I'd thought I would never go back.Before long, the car pulled up in front of the old safe house.The iron gate opened, and the lights in th

Chapter 4

On the morning I was leaving, I put the signed divorce agreement in an envelope and left it in Luca's study.I slipped my wedding ring in with it.When I got back to the bedroom, Luca was standing in the doorway."Are you free tonight?"I zipped up my suitcase before asking, "What is it?"He paused, then said, "There's a family dinner tonight. You're coming."Didn't you always want me to make you pasta? I'll make it for you tonight."I looked at him and didn't say anything.In the past, when Luca made me angry, he rarely tried to make it up to me.He would just have someone send me an expensive bag or jewelry, or free up an evening at the last minute to have dinner with me.Then he'd act as though nothing had happened.Ten years, and he was still the same.Luca went on, "Don't be late. After dinner, I'll take you for a walk."My hand froze on the handle of my suitcase.So he remembered.He had said he would come home Sunday night and have dinner with me.Last night at the safe house, t

Chapter 5

As the plane flew out over Rome, I switched off my phone.The city outside the window was hidden by clouds, like an old map finally folded shut.I didn't look at my bare ring finger again, and I didn't think about when Luca would notice I was gone.He would probably go back to the estate first and find that I hadn't waited for him. Then he'd call and tell me to stop being difficult. In a few days, once I'd cooled off, he'd treat it like any other petty argument, just as he always had.Meanwhile, back at the Romano estate, Luca had finally finished dinner.Standing in the entry hall, Selina asked Luca, "Is Irene angry?"She left in such a hurry."Luca undid his cufflinks and glanced at his phone."She's never liked family gatherings."Selina pressed on. "But she looked really sad tonight."Luca only said, "Don't worry about her. She's just tired."Selina lowered her eyes and didn't ask anything more.By the time he got back to the main house, it was nearly midnight. Luca walked into the

Chapter 6

Even after I landed in London, I didn't turn my phone back on.The magazine sent a car to pick me up.The new apartment I had rented wasn't big. A gray-blue river ran past the window.A coworker helped me carry my luggage into the living room and looked around at the bare walls. "I'm free tomorrow. I'll take you to buy a few things."I smiled."No need. I like it this way."I opened my suitcase.On top were two cameras, a few lenses, and the film I hadn't finished shooting.There was no brace from Luca's physical therapy.No painkillers I had to have ready before every rainy day.Nor was there the heating pad I had kept by the bed or the cabinet full of care supplies I had stocked for him all those years.Only after leaving Luca did I realize how little space my own belongings took up.On my third day in London, I got an email from my lawyer. Luca had refused to sign the divorce agreement and insisted on talking to me directly.I emailed back, "Please handle everything through my lawye

Chapter 7

When Luca showed up outside the magazine's office, I'd just finished a location shoot.Rain had soaked his black coat. He looked thinner than when I left; his right shoulder was still stiff, and his eyes were bloodshot.When he saw me, he hurried over. "Irene."I stopped on the steps and didn't go any closer.I asked flatly, "What are you doing here?"He was almost pleading."Come back with me and we'll talk."He reached for me.I stepped away.Luca's hand froze in midair. Embarrassment flashed across his face, but he quickly hid it.He lowered his voice. "I didn't come here to fight with you. Don't make a scene here."I answered, "I'm not planning to fight, and I'm not the one making a scene."I glanced at the office building behind me and went on, "You're the one interrupting other people's work. If you need something, we can go through our lawyers."He was silent for a moment, then followed me to the cafe on the corner.Once we sat down, he took out a stack of documents. On top was

Chapter 8

Mark called to confirm that Luca had been examined and was out of danger for now.I said only, "Okay."The next day, I went to work at the magazine as usual.Helen handed me the list of people to photograph for the new feature and reminded me the first set of portraits was due by Friday.The project wasn't big, but it was the first time I was in charge of a whole column on my own. From choosing subjects and conducting interviews to selecting the final images, every decision was mine.Helen added, "If it goes well, next quarter's budget is yours too."Don't rush. Go at your own pace."I looked down at the schedule in my hands and nodded. "I'll turn it in on time."Work filled my days.I shot on location, sorted negatives, and discussed layouts with the editors. Sometimes, by the time I got back to my apartment, it was already dark.The work exhausted me, but it also made me feel grounded.At least every part of it was something I had chosen for myself.News from Rome still came every fe

Chapter 9

Luca didn't come to London again.He still sent me emails.Sometimes they were short greetings. Other times, he just let me know his lawyer had sent documents I needed to confirm.I left all correspondence for my lawyer to handle.A few weeks later, my lawyer told me Luca had agreed to go ahead with the divorce.He didn't ask to meet again, and he didn't add any conditions to the agreement.A month later, the divorce papers arrived in London.Luca's signature was on the last page.I could see that the last stroke had wavered a little, but the line remained unbroken.As I looked at his signature, I didn't feel the relief I'd expected, but I wasn't especially sad either.It was finally over. That was all.That night, Helen sent me the project schedule for next quarter.I printed the itinerary and stuck it up next to my desk.In the past, whenever I planned a work trip, I would first check Luca's physical therapy schedule, his medication, and the family's meetings, worried that if I left

Chapter 10

Two years later, I held my first solo photography exhibition in London.It was called Where the Light Doesn't Reach.None of the photographs showed the Romano family or Luca.There was the night-shift cleaner, an old man who gave directions to strangers at the station, an immigrant girl who practiced English alone every night after closing up shop, and a young man relearning to paint with his left hand after an accident.I didn't invent uplifting endings for them. I photographed them as they were.Beside each photo was the subject's name.On opening day, the gallery was packed. Helen stood at the entrance talking with guests, while fellow photographers gathered around several prints to discuss the light and composition.I was busy answering questions. It wasn't until just before closing that I finally had time to stand in the middle of the gallery and look at my work again.I saw Luca.He stood in front of the last wall, wearing a dark overcoat. His right hand still moved a little more

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