Why Does The Protagonist In 'Loads To Swallow' Struggle?

"Kane stays unmoving, and I realize he’s barely breathing. I don’t think he needs oxygen to stay alive, so that’s not too surprising, but I can’t’ figure out why he is so still. His hand at my waist is so very close to my breastbone, the longing for him to slide it up only a few inches, to touch me in places no one ever has before, has a gasp leaving my lips. I have to bite down again to keep from moaning, and he hasn’t even kissed me yet." Emory I was born to be the Alpha of my pack. But now... I am here, in the castle of our greatest enemy, the Vampire King. I should hate Kane, but the more time I spend with him, the more I long for him. I am not here to be his lover, though. I am here to be his feeder. But even before his lips graze my skin the first time, I know I would give myself to him in every way imaginable if only he should ask. Kane I long to taste the wolf shifter, but not her blood, her body. But I'm already betrothed to marry another vampire, and if I call that off, I have resigned my kingdom to yet another war. There has to be a way to keep Emory as my feeder but not claim her in my bed. I just haven't figured it out yet. But I have enemies, and every moment she spends here in my home, Castle Graystone, she's in danger. I can protect her, but at what cost? Am I willing to risk everything to make her mine? Or should I put my duty to my kingdom first?

The notice of my mother's layoff sat on the kitchen table. Rent was due in three days. My younger brother's tutoring fees were already two weeks late. And my little sister, Stephanie, clutched her acceptance letter to the local public arts high school like she'd done something wrong. None of this would be happening if it weren't for me. My illness had taken everything our family had saved. I stayed in my room, leaning against the door, wanting to tell them I'd drop out of treatment—but I couldn't bring myself to open it. "Why did he have to fall sick?" My mother was crying, her voice low and tight, like the words were being forced out of her. "If it were just you both, Stephanie and Jamie, we'd be fine by now." "Mom, please don't say that." My brother and sister held her, barely holding back their own tears. "He's a burden… but he's still my son." Her voice cracked. "I just… I can't do this anymore…" I stepped back and sank into my chair. It wasn't an accusation. It was a verdict.

My girlfriend Chloe Bennett's childhood buddy, Daniel Miller, binds himself to a transfer system. Everything he eats gets sent straight into my stomach. He creates a live stream channel and eats nonstop for 12 hours a day to rake in money. Meanwhile, I end up in the ER with acute pancreatitis. I try to explain everything to Chloe, but she just looks at me like I've lost my mind. "How could something that ridiculous exist? If food could magically transfer, nobody would starve in the world. You're just jealous he's making money from streaming." Afterward, Daniel's every live stream triggers another pancreatitis episode, sending me back to the ER until I'm barely holding on. I get tested, but the doctors can't figure out what's wrong. They even want to admit me to psych. Later, in a desperate bid to outdo another streamer, Daniel downs ten pounds of mashed potatoes at once. The overload destroys my spleen and stomach, causing massive internal bleeding that kills me. When I open my eyes again, I'm back on the day of Daniel's very first live stream. This time, I rush out and order 20 takeout dishes before him. "This time, I'm eating first."

I was born with a genetic disorder. My father left as soon as he found out, and my illness quickly drained all my mother’s savings. To afford my treatment, she moved me from one stranger’s home to another, until she chose to have a child for money. After giving birth to a baby boy and receiving twelve thousand dollars, she was about to leave, but the man asked her to stay. He promised to raise me as his own and cover my medical expenses. She agreed. They married soon after. She told me I would always be the one she loved most. To prove it, she rarely held my brother and almost never smiled at him. Until the day he accidentally swallowed my medicine. As she frantically tried to save him, she broke down and screamed at me, “Why are you still alive?” I watched them rush to the hospital. Then I went back to my room, picked up the scattered pills, and swallowed them all. Mom, I wouldn't be a burden to you anymore.

The heaviness in the air is the prequel to the Across the desk. However it is told from Max's point of view. He realizes that he is stuck in life and he really wants to move on but he doesn't know how. His first time going out with a person he is accused of the worst thing a man can be accused of. Though the truth came out later he had already lost his place in his family and in the town. He never trusted women again. He knows that it all revolves around one women though. Then one day he is getting ready to go over his files for his job as an detective he sees one that he doesn't know. He opens the file and it is her, the woman who ruined his life. She was now dead. He is assigned the case to find her murderer. This is his chance to redeem himself and finally put the past to bed. He has to revisit everything in this woman's life and with some twists and turns he finally finishes the case with a jaw dropping person accused of the murder. Then he goes through the trial and he makes himself a promise. When the case is finally over he will move on and find the family he wants to have. The day the verdict for the last of the trials comes to an end Deanna Watson walks into his office. This is his chance to finally do something about his slight obsession with the tiny student. This story goes right into the across the desk and answers the questions of how Max is the way he is when it comes to dealing with the Watson family.

She craved to be chosen openly, shamelessly with no hesitation. When he entered her life, he gave her exactly that, intense affection, gentle touches, long conversations, and a kind of desire she had never known. For a sheltered girl who has always felt invisible, his warm affection always felt like a light at the end of a tunnel. But behind the desire lay something heavier. His temper, his violent stories, the weight of his complicated past, and the quiet way he consumed her emotionally began to drain her. Torn between the only man who made herpersonal story about the dangers of being intensely desired and the courage it takes to choose oneself over the person who makes you feel everything feel truly seen and the growing uncertainty of what staying might cost her, she found herself trapped in a love that was both yearned for but slowly emptied her. Raw, honest and unflinchingly intimate. He Drains Me is an in-depth personal story about the dangers of being intensely desired and the courage it takes to choose oneself over the person who makes you feel everything.