Why Does Remy Break Up With Dexter In 'This Lullaby'?

2026-03-23 20:24:09
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4 Answers

Zane
Zane
Story Finder Chef
Reading 'This Lullaby' as a teen, I hated Remy for breaking Dexter’s heart. Re-reading it now, I get it. Their relationship is a collision of opposites: Dexter’s all heart, Remy’s all logic. He sees love as an adventure; she sees it as a contract with an expiration date. The breakup isn’t about lack of feelings—it’s about Remy’s inability to reconcile those two worlds.

One detail that stuck with me? Remy’s obsession with control. She plans every breakup in advance, but Dexter disrupts that. His genuine love terrifies her because it’s unpredictable. When she finally ends things, it’s not dramatic—it’s quiet and devastating. She’s not crying; she’s just… empty. That’s the tragedy: Dexter’s love could’ve healed her, but she wasn’t ready to stop pretending she didn’t need healing.
2026-03-26 22:39:24
5
Andrew
Andrew
Reply Helper Teacher
Remy and Dexter’s breakup boils down to timing. She’s spent her life watching love fail, so when something real comes along, she doesn’t recognize it. Dexter’s sincerity clashes with her cynicism—he’s too open, too messy, too present. Their fights aren’t about big betrayals; they’re about Remy’s discomfort with vulnerability.

The turning point is when Dexter says, 'You don’t have to believe in love. Believe in me.' But Remy can’t yet. She walks away not because she doesn’t care, but because caring scares her more than being alone. It’s a flawed, human choice—and that’s why it resonates.
2026-03-27 15:31:16
3
Trevor
Trevor
Contributor Police Officer
Dexter’s the kind of guy who writes songs about you and shows up with flowers 'just because,' so why does Remy dump him? Honestly, it’s classic self-sabotage. She’s got this whole 'love is temporary' philosophy thanks to her mom’s five divorces, and Dexter’s the first guy who makes her question it. But instead of leaning into that, she panics. She picks fights, nitpicks his quirks (like his messy car), and convinces herself he’s not serious—even though he totally is.

The irony? Remy’s the one who’s not serious. She’s so scared of getting hurt that she hurts him first. The breakup scene kills me because Dexter calls her out: 'You’re not protecting yourself; you’re just alone.' Ouch. But it’s true. Dessen doesn’t give us a fairy-tale fix—Remy has to grow up before she can deserve him.
2026-03-28 04:11:16
6
Rebecca
Rebecca
Honest Reviewer Chef
Remy and Dexter's breakup in 'This Lullaby' hit me hard because it felt so real. At first, their chemistry is electric—Dexter's free-spirited charm balances Remy's guarded nature perfectly. But as the story unfolds, you see the cracks. Remy’s fear of commitment isn’t just about Dexter; it’s rooted in her mom’s failed marriages and her own belief that love doesn’t last. She’s built walls to protect herself, and Dexter’s spontaneity starts feeling like a threat instead of a breath of fresh air.

What really gets me is how Sarah Dessen nails the tension between wanting love and fearing it. Remy isn’t just breaking up with Dexter; she’s sabotaging something good because she can’t trust it. The scene where she returns his stuff is brutal—she’s methodical, almost cold, but you can feel her heart breaking too. It’s not that Dexter isn’t 'enough'; it’s that Remy isn’t ready to believe in 'enough.' That complexity makes their breakup one of the most poignant I’ve read.
2026-03-28 16:01:03
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