Who Says The Funniest Pineapple Express Quotes?

​"They called him the Prison Boss —a bloodthirsty monster who ruled the cells and terrified the guards. And I was the rookie cop they threw to the wolves." ​Valeska wanted to earn her badge without her multi-millionaire father’s influence. But her bravery backfires when she’s assigned to Area 4—the personal kingdom of the notorious brutal prison boss, Dante Cross. ​She swore she wouldn’t break. She swore she would look the monster in the eye and show no fear. ​But pride comes before the fall. ​Cornered in the dark, the Prison Boss rapes her, shattering her courage and leaving her trembling, terrified, and bearing a scar that will haunt her forever. ​Worse than the pain is the look in his eyes. The amused glint he wore whenever she challenged or ordered him around is gone. In its place is a dark, cold, soul-wrenching gaze that freezes the blood in her veins. ​She thought it was a one-time nightmare. But as he looks down at her with that terrifying, absolute possession, she realizes the truth... ​He isn't done with her. This is only the beginning.

I'm Kelly. Everyone calls me Speed. I'm all about control. I'm in control on the racetrack. I'm in control of my car. I'm in control of how I fought to raise my deaf little brother. I live for being in control. Except in my personal life, I have no control and I don't know how to handle it. I don't know where I fit. Should I go with what I have been taught all my life as normal or should I give in to myself and let my true desires come out. I'm Brick. When I first met Speed I could see instantly she needed someone to take control. She needed the Dom in me to help her safely explore her needs and desires. She needed to submit to me and to her true self. She needed me to guide her as she explores who she is and what she wants. She needs a safe place only I can give her to step past what was drilled into her as right and follow her heart. I'm Gretchen. I'm a bunny for the Reckless Renegades. I service the members, most of the time means having sex with them. I was ok with that. Well, I was ok with it until I met Speed. I was drawn to her instantly. I wanted to get to know her but more than that I wanted to be with her. Before I can even make a move she finds out I'm a bunny and won't speak to me anymore. Being a bunny was fine for me but now I want more. I want to help Brick to get Speed to open up. I want to be with her in every way even if that means sharing her with him and giving up my bunny was.

Outside the police tape surrounding a fancy hotel, a police officer can be seen blocking my way. "There seems to be a bomb hidden in the hotel! Unauthorized personnel are not allowed to get any closer!" I'm just about to dig out my work badge when the intern next to me, Christine Wyatt, covers her mouth in a pretentiously shocked manner. "Officer, there's a detonator and a timer in his bag! Those things look so scary!" The entire scene goes eerily silent. Almost immediately, I see a few guns getting aimed at my forehead. Anxiety begins overwhelming me. "I'm a bomb disposal expert from the Headquarters Explosive Ordnance Disposal Unit! My bag contains all the tools necessary to dispose of a bomb!" "Throw your bag over to me and keep your hands where I can see them!" Captain Scott Hunter roars at me. My bag is opened afterward. Things like an insulated cutter, a bomb suppression blanket, and a liquid nitrogen cooling tank are scattered across the ground. Before I can explain myself, Christine suddenly points at me while screaming, "Why are you still playing dumb? You just told me that you wanted to set off an explosion in that hotel! "What, now that the police are here, you dare not admit what you just said, huh? You're a terrorist through and through!" Scott reacts quickly by pinning me on the hood of the police cruiser with my hands folded behind my back. "We're taking you back for a thorough interrogation!" My heart almost stops at those words. The bomb that's packed with enough firepower to take out half a street has already gone on a countdown in the hotel lobby. But I, the only bomb disposal expert who can get rid of the bomb, have handcuffs put on me because of Christine's nonsensical accusations. Right now, there are only 29 minutes left before the bomb goes off.

I can hear the voices of every organ in the human body. In my three years of practicing medicine, I've never misdiagnosed a single patient. For instance, a young man with wobbly legs comes in for a consultation, suspecting he has a terminal illness. His kidneys, however, start cursing up a storm. "You're juggling eight girlfriends at the same time. Even a workhorse on a farm doesn't get worked this hard!" I try my best not to laugh, prescribe him some supplements, and casually suggest he learn a little time management. Then, a well-dressed white-collar professional walks in and tells me she's experiencing heart palpitations and dizziness and insists that she must have congenital heart disease. Her heart immediately protests loudly in my ear. "You drink three iced Americanos a day! I'm about to burst out of your ribcage and start doing calisthenics!" I smile and prescribe her some chamomile tea. Less than half a month later, she returns with a healthy, rosy complexion to present me with a banner of appreciation. From that moment on, I earn the nickname "the Human X-Ray". … One afternoon, a woman walks in with a listless-looking boy. Maeve Brown looks sick with worry. "Dr. Young, please take a look at him! Lennon has been suffering from headaches, and he has already taken several days off school due to them." However, his brain is practically throwing a party in my ear. "Hell yeah, I successfully skipped class! I'm going to grind ranked matches all night long!" I smile as I diagnose him with malingering, and Lennon White goes home with a flushed face. Ten days later, Maeve and Hubert White burst into my office. This time, Lennon's complexion is pallid. Bracing himself against the doorframe, his body sways uncontrollably. Initially, I assume he's putting on another performance. However, the moment I hear the voices emanating from within his body, my mind goes blank. I immediately push him out of the room and dial 911. "I'd rather treat a dog with this condition than treat you!"

IT WAS late afternoon when Andy began to pick up the clothes she had hung up this morning, but she stopped what she was doing when she heard shouts and footsteps outside their backyard as if those people are in a hurry. So she peeked through the hole in their wall that is already brittle. But to her surprised, someone suddenly jumped out from the outside and entered their yard-- a man wearing a black hoody jacket. "W-who are you?!" Andy managed to ask, so the man turned slightly to her which caused her to see the man’s face. "Shit," that's all the man said and ran away... carrying her... "Hey, shit! My panties, give them back to me!" Andy shouted but he didn’t look at her again. Her panty which was hung outside was taken by a stranger. And now, the question running to Andy’s mind is… ‘Who’s that guy who stole my panty?’

At the sweltering precinct of Riverside, Camila Gonzales is already a familiar face, a sharp-tongued high school senior with colored streaks in her hair and a reputation for trouble. She claims she doesn’t care what anyone thinks, least of all the police. Especially not them. Then Officer Asher Flores transfers in. Calm, composed, and impossibly unreadable, Asher sees through her sarcasm in a way no one else ever has. When Camila deliberately takes the blame for a street thief she secretly tried to stop, he realizes her defiance isn’t recklessness, it’s protection. And when he threatens to formally charge her, she laughs, as if detention would be a relief. Camila hates cops. Asher is one. But beneath her hostility is a girl who’s never been listened to, and behind his steady authority is a man who quietly chooses to see the truth. What begins as a clash between a guarded delinquent and a principled officer may become something far more dangerous, an understanding neither of them expected, and neither of them is prepared for.