A Valediction Forbidding Mourning

Once upon a time, Kayla thought she and Winston would be together until the day they died. She would never have expected them to take separate paths so soon. After retrieving her diagnosis report, she sees him holding another woman in his arms. A final tear trickles down her face. She's tired and doesn't want to use whatever time she has left to argue with him. She makes the arrangements for everything that will happen after her death. Then, she prepares a final gift for Winston. From this day onward, she'll leave for the afterworld while he remains on Earth. They won't see each other again.

Five years after I broke up with my childhood sweetheart, Jason Thorne, my ALS progressed to its terminal stage. Since I can't receive any treatment for my disease at all, I decide to fly back to my hometown and wait for my death to come. Meanwhile, Jason has been dating a woman named Freya Tyler for five years. In fact, they are about to get married. Freya is even pregnant with Jason's child. We bump into each other in the hospital's garden. When Jason sees the blanket around my shoulders, he scoffs at me. "You're already this weak, and yet you're here all alone. It seems that your doctor boyfriend isn't taking good care of you at all. Then again, you did cheat on me with that guy. It only makes sense that your new relationship won't end well at all." Freya smiles brightly at me. "That's enough, Jason. It's not like everyone is capable of taking care of me very well, just like you do. "Our wedding will be held at the base of a snow mountain in Selvaria. You simply must attend our wedding, Ms. Moyer." As I gaze at Jason's cold and arrogant expression, I do my best to suppress my feelings of longing and guilt. Instead, I reply calmly, "No, thank you. I'm not interested in my ex-boyfriend's life. I'm only staying here for a short while. In the future, I will never come back ever again." Jason merely huffs before turning on his heel and walking away. But when I depart from this world, he loses his will to live too.

I've been married to Salvatore Falcone for seven years. He's a mafia Don who drills raw terror into everyone's minds. While I'm the Donna whom he has announced to the world, in truth, I'm just a mistress who serves as his human shield that can warm his bed on the side. Salvatore has betrayed me countless times over the past seven years. The first betrayal occurred when he took my ring off on our first wedding anniversary and gave it to one of the escorts in the clubhouse on a whim. The second betrayal occurred when I collapsed in the kitchen out of exhaustion. Instead of saving me, Salvatore blamed me for not preparing the hangover tonic for him in time, so he had someone dump iced water onto me to wake me up. The third betrayal occurred when I suffered from massive bleeding when I was five months pregnant. When I begged Salvatore to go to the hospital with me, he told me that he was keeping Valentina Caruso, his childhood sweetheart, company while her cat was getting fixed. For 2500 days, I swallowed all of my grievances, agony, and tears. Last night, at the banquet of our seventh wedding anniversary, Salvatore had taken Valentina's hand and sat her down on the Donna's throne that was meant to be mine. At that moment, everyone looked forward to seeing me humiliate myself. This was the 101st time he betrayed me. After the banquet was over, Salvatore didn't even bother looking me in the eye. He just said icily, "Don't forget that you're only a mistress to me despite our marriage." At the crack of dawn, Salvatore wakes up with a hangover. He tosses his soiled shirt at me out of habit. "Wash this shirt immediately. I'm going to wear it tonight." As I gaze at him, I caress my belly, which is slightly swollen. "Sorry, Mr. Falcone. This is no longer my duty." Salvatore most likely has forgotten that we've signed a contract when we first got married. The clause states that we will get divorced seven years later. Today is the third day before our contract comes to an end. I toss the marriage certificate and the pregnancy report into the shredder on the spot. In three days, my unborn baby and I will disappear from Salvatore's world permanently. This time, I will never look back.

I woke up in the middle of the night to find my wife crying and begging me to let her see that young man one last time. "I’ll come right back after seeing him one last time. Please, I’m begging you." In our seven years of marriage, this was only the second time she’d spoken to me in such a pleading, ingratiating tone. The last time was when I caught the kid running out of her office, his clothes in disarray. Afraid I’d make a scene, she grabbed my hand and pleaded, "Honey, I promise I’ll cut him off. Please don’t divorce me. I’ll die without you." So, I gave her another chance. Just as she promised, she devoted herself to our family, becoming the perfect wife everyone admired. Until today. I turned on the bedside lamp, looked into her eyes, and told her seriously, "Go. Don’t leave yourself with any regrets." I had no regrets left. I hoped the same for you.

Right after I die, my wife goes on a date with her first love. I once told her, "If I die, I swear I won't love you in the next life." She scoffs. "Gladly. But people like you live forever, don't they?" Just as she wishes, I die. However, right then, she holds my urn close, whispering, "Are you still mad at me?"

The Adoration and lust that intially marks the love between the two, drifts a sudden deviation in destiny. However the fate brings them together in the laters where the couple work to build a better relationship. The novel explores on how It's truly devastating that we yearn for something, only when its no where near us.