An Apology For Poetry

I have a severe case of logorrhea. Only speaking makes me feel alive. My classmates all call me a freak, but Marvin Britt is the only one willing to listen to me. One day, I bring some homemade soup over to see him, only to catch him holding his junior's hand. "Lexie, your voice is so lovely, unlike my wife at home. She sounds like a squawking duck. It's exhausting." My hands shake so violently that I drop the thermal flask. The commotion angers a nearby madman, who forces a bottle of boiling water down my throat. With my mouth full of blood and blisters, I realize I need proof. I send Marvin—a lawyer—a frantic voice note to accompany me to the police station for evidence. Marvin shoots back a single word—"Noted". Of course. He doesn't even listen to it, as usual. He used to reply to everything I said with voice notes at least a minute long. But we hit the seven-year itch, and he's sick of my endless talking. Leaving the hospital, I stare at my diagnosis of permanent mutism and laugh bitterly. He must be thrilled. His world is finally quiet.

By the tenth engagement party, Samantha Moore stood me up again. I called her to ask what happened. What I didn't realize was that my phone was still connected to the banquet hall speakers. A second later, the entire room went dead silent. Soft, breathless moans spilled through the sound system. Then Samantha's voice came on, shaky and uneven. "Caleb... my department planned a team hike today. We're almost at the top. About the engagement party... let's just do it another time. I have to go." She hung up. For a moment, nobody moved. Then the room erupted into chaos. Gasps, whispers, and a few harsh laughs filled the banquet hall. Some people did not even bother hiding their amusement. Even the servers were glancing at me as if I were nothing more than a pathetic joke. I had proposed to Samantha ninety-nine times before she finally said yes, and yet she had never once shown up to our engagement party—not once. I stood there quietly, took the engagement ring from my pocket, and dropped it into the fish tank beside the stage. After seven years of waiting, forgiving, and making excuses for her, I finally understood the truth. I had mistaken my patience for love, and she had mistaken my love for permission to hurt me. I used to believe that if I loved her enough, she would eventually choose me. Instead, every time I lowered myself for her, she only pushed the line further. This was the tenth time she had humiliated me in front of everyone, and it would be the last. From that day on, she was no longer part of my future.

I see her in his arms. Adrian’s hand is at her waist, and she’s looking up at him like he hasn’t spent years breathing the same air as her without ever earning that look. My fingers curl around my glass. Then he says something. I don’t hear it. I don’t need to. Because Wren… giggles. My world tilts. I’ve heard her laugh before—sharp, defiant. But this was different. And it was not for me. Rage claws up my throat, aimed straight at Adrian. I shouldn’t care. Except I do. I fucking do. Then Wren stumbles. Adrian catches her, pulls her back—and their lips collide. Just a peck. Clearly accidental. But it detonates inside me. Something snaps. The glass slips from my hand, shattering, and all I see is red. My body moves before my mind can catch up. Because suddenly, it all crashes into place. Her silence. The loss. It felt like I’d lost something I didn’t even know I was holding onto. And I was the one who did it. My pranks. My cruelty. I was the reason her scholarship got revoked! God! A bitter taste floods my mouth. She cut me off because she had every right to. Because I deserved it. But that doesn’t mean I can let her go. It doesn’t mean I will. If it takes groveling, I’ll grovel. If it takes begging, I’ll beg. Hell, if it takes dropping to my knees in front of this entire fucking college and tearing my pride apart piece by piece just to earn a fraction of her forgiveness. Because she matters. I don’t care about anything except her slipping out of my reach. And I’m ready to burn everything down for her.

In the coastal quiet of Baler, a studio is born—not of architecture, but of intention.* Founded by Yam, a poet whose words cradle pain gently, and Franc, an artist who paints tenderness into walls, the studio becomes a refuge for those learning to stay—with grief, love, longing, and themselves. As visitors arrive, they leave behind more than footprints: a sigh recorded in bamboo, a poem tucked into the “Found Letters” shelf, a mural painted in crooked lines. Through zines, tea, silence, and sketchbooks, the studio teaches softness as revolution. Ren creates the *Window of Soft Returns*, an installation of anonymous voice recordings—each whisper forming a community of echoes. Drew builds the *Staircase With No Wrong Turns*, inviting people to walk through emotions without shame. Franc offers brushstrokes as brave work, and Yam curates writing circles that map healing in half sentences. Together, they host festivals that feel like hugs, and they begin traveling their archive, letting softness cross oceans. Even those who once left—like Miguel—return, discovering that some doors never truly close. Others, like Tala, capture the studio’s sound and turn it into a podcast of breath and becoming. Over seventy chapters, the studio transforms into something larger than itself: a mural of memory, a sanctuary for second chances, a place where return is sacred and voice is proof of survival. In the final bloom, the studio stands not as a monument—but as a reminder: > *“Staying isn’t easy. > But chosen together, > it becomes home.”*

While celebrating our tenth year anniversary, my boyfriend, Archie Cullen, and I are caught in a sandstorm warning on the grasslands. Instead of staying with me, he leaves me behind to save the equipment in the tent. Having worked with Archie for years, I know he cares about his work more than anything. The storm rattles the gear, and a falling saddle strikes me, leaving me in too much pain to go after him. I could only pray through the night for us and for our work. When I finally return to the studio, I find my most important camera lens and hard drive destroyed. Meanwhile, he's carefully wiping down Sharon Thatcher's walkie-talkie, looking relieved. "Thank goodness we weren't in the worst-hit area. I did everything I could and managed to save the work Sharon and I had poured our hearts into. "She comes from a renowned family of artists and has a great degree. I'm very confident about this competition." Archie is always full of praise for her. Whenever the two of them talk about art and filmmaking, I can barely get a single word in. I look down at my injured left arm. "What about me? What about everything I poured my heart into?" I ask Archie. He looks up at me in confusion. "You're angry over a broken hard drive? Everything you shoot looks about the same anyway. Just shoot it again. "Besides, you're fine, aren't you?" Suddenly, I have nothing left to say. I look up and hold back my tears. So in his mind, what they create is real art, something worth risking everything for, even if it means leaving me in danger. If that's how it is, I'll enter the film competition on my own. From now on, my work will never carry his name again.

My boyfriend, Aiden Ramsey, loses a game of Truth or Dare during a party. Someone dares him to say ten good things about my best friend, Natalia Williams. Aiden doesn't hesitate at all when he answers, "She's pretty, bubbly, has a great figure, knows how to play coy, loves to smile, has a high EQ, is independent, and has a good sense of aesthetics. Also, she's very good at making other people happy." Natalia picks Aiden again in the next round. She smiles and says, "Tell us about Sylvia's good qualities." Aiden is stunned for a few seconds as he looks at me. In the end, he finally answers, "She's understanding." Someone smiles and tries to smooth over the situation by asking, "What else?" Aiden frowns, seeming to be deep in thought. However, he's unable to come up with another good thing about me. A wave of exhaustion suddenly washes over me as the awkward silence stretches on. Aiden and I have been dating for seven years. We're going to get married soon. However, even after mulling over his thoughts for such a long time, the only good thing that he can say about me is that I'm understanding. I decide that I'm not going to be understanding anymore.