Funny Inappropriate Usernames

Malachi Brooks is a wealthy, eligible bachelor with everything going for him. He is living the life many would want, but he is missing something - The love of a real woman. Of course he has the pick of any woman he chooses; women would bend over backwards to bare his children. He is very attractive, intelligent and he has a lot to offer but he wants something different than what has been getting. Brianna Martin wants something other than being a booty call. She is a thick sistah with a lot going for her. She wants to find real love with a real man who would appreciate her for being her. Lately, Brianna has been thinking it's inevitable for her to be single for the rest of her life. On his way to work, Malachi sees the woman of his dreams but doesn't know how to get in touch with her. Yet he is determined to find out who she is. Meanwhile, Brianna gets an inappropriate phone call that livens things up for her. She does the unthinkable and steals the caller’s number to hunt him down. She’s intrigued to find out who is behind that sexy voice. As luck would have it, Brianna finds the caller and begins calling him to give him a taste of his own medicine and they click! A meet-up is planned between Brianna and the caller. Brianna is hesitant and decides to have a back up plan. The plan goes awry leaving confessions needing to be made. Will Brianna be able to come clean? Will Malachi see Brianna for who she really is?

Jamie Reyes doesn’t do one-night stands. But after a soul-crushing breakup and too many glasses of whiskey, he lets himself fall—just once—for a stranger’s hands, lips, and whispered promises in the dark. No names. No strings. No future. Until Monday morning, when his anonymous hookup steps into the conference room… as Julian Black, his new department supervisor. Julian is everything Jamie shouldn’t want—older, emotionally locked down, and strictly off-limits. Yet the tension simmers, sharp as ever, and pretending it didn’t happen is impossible when every brush of fingers feels like a memory. They’re supposed to be professionals. They’re not supposed to want more. And if they’re caught, everything Jamie’s worked for could fall apart. But what happens when the lines blur, and a one-night mistake becomes the one thing neither of them can walk away from? A steamy, slow-burn MM office romance filled with forbidden tension, secret glances, and the kind of chemistry that doesn’t stay buried.

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

Since the day Serenity got hitched to a stranger on their blind date, she had assumed married life would be ordinary but respectful and mundane. It never crossed her mind that her new husband would be clingy like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe. To her utmost surprise, he could make her troubles disappear whenever she was in a fix. Despite her questioning, her husband would always pass it off as luck. Until one day, she watched an interview with a local billionaire known for fussing over his wife. That was when she noticed the uncanny resemblance of the billionaire to her husband. The wife whom he was showering attention on turned out to be her!

Despite being single, Molly May had become pregnant without her knowing how six years ago. As a result, she fell into disrepute and got abandoned by her family.Six years later, she returned with her triplets: Alex, Ben, and Claudia. The triplets with high IQ found that Sean Anderson was their biological father. Hence, they went to meet him without telling their mother.However, the CEO refused to recognize his offspring. “I have lived chastely and never had physical contact with a woman.”“DNA doesn’t lie, and that’s a fact,” said Alex, the eldest of the bunch.“People say men will forget what they've done after pulling on pants. It seems to be true,” said Ben, the middle child.“You should be happy and grateful to have three adorable kids and a beautiful wife,” said Claudia, the youngest of the bunch.While Sean played the role of a father and his relationship with the triplets grew rapidly, he was estranged from his wife.So the triplets taught him tips and tricks to pursue women: making bold moves, stealing kisses, proposing, etc.Nevertheless, Molly was distraught by his moves. “Such flirting skills befit an experienced male escort.”When Sean's identity was finally revealed, he retorted, “You are the 'escort.' Your entire family are 'escorts!'”