The search for that specific balance is something I've navigated a lot. It’s less about finding a platform known for high heat and more about understanding the tags and community norms. Archive of Our Own is my main ground; the tagging system is unmatched. I’ll search for an explicit rating paired with tags like 'Porn Without Plot', but then I'll also look for 'Established Relationship' or 'Emotional Hurt/Comfort' to find stories where the intimacy feels earned rather than gratuitous. Some writers are masters at making the filthiest scenarios feel grounded in character, which is the reader-friendly part for me. The dirt has to feel like it belongs to the people involved.
I tend to avoid spaces that market themselves solely on shock value. The quality of writing usually suffers, and it stops being enjoyable. My best finds have often been via curated rec lists on Tumblr or Discord servers dedicated to a particular ship, where people will note if a story is 'smutty but sweet' or 'filthy with feelings'. That human recommendation is the real filter.