You Exist Too Much

In the madness of life, we find the madness of life in ourselves. We are a reflection of the madness of life. We are the embodiment of a crazy life.

Extract. " Why are you here?" She asked, staring out the window. She has refused to face him since he entered the room, treating him as if he were a ghost. She was a ghost to everyone but not to him and she wondered why. " Came to see you. Did I come at a bad time?" He asked. With a crooked sigh, she finally turned to face him, revealing a tear streaked face. Anger rose in him. Moving towards him, she muttered through gritted teeth. " Every time is a bad time Ray, don't you understand that?" " I understand if you're angry, I can always come see you tomorrow..." She cut him off. " I don't want you to come see me tomorrow or the day after that! I need you to leave me alone! Stop trying to help me Ray, we both know it's not going to work. I wonder why you even bother. Just go away!" " Why do you keep pushing me away?! I want to help you, why won't you let me?" " Because it's of no use. No one can help me Ray, not even you. And you trying is going to hurt the both of us! Even more than we can ever imagine." She spat, tears clouding in her eyes again. She was always crying and frowning. Never smiled. He never thought she knew what it felt like to smile. " But I love you! I freaking do! Why can't you understand and let me stay?" He yelled, shaking her, tears forming in his eyes at the one girl he loved but keeps pushing him away. " Then hate me. If you truly love me Ray... You would hate me." She growled, staring deep into his eyes. Giving him a choice, to hate or love her...

Tea is trapped in a loop where she continues to live different lives. Sometimes, she is young and sometimes she is old. Sometimes, she is a man and even worse, a dog. She doesn’t know why she appears in different places all the time or why her life changes when she closes her eyes. All she wants is to sleep and never awaken. -- But she doesn't know, there are conspiracies lurking beneath the calm world she lives in and a world outside that is waiting for her return.

This story is not a story at all ; it is rather a journal that documents events which shapes this author's life. Walk the journey with me ; is it what you going through to? If so , hopefully this journal will help you feel as if you are not alone in this world. This book will contain good times , as well as bad times. The events that occurs are not made up in my imagination ; these events were lived out and documented as soon as possible. Let us conquer these problems together!

I wish that night had never happened, the night I died and was resurrected by a vampire, life to me never made sense and I always wondered what happens after death. I didn't think my question was answered so soon, but now I ask you: What is the price of death? I found out the hard way that the price of death is life, my life that now belongs to him!

*You want me to fuck you, i know you do* PRETEND YOU MINE. "I'm not your girl, Ethan." I snapped instantly. "You were during that kiss, Brynne." Eyes flickering, he read me, and then he inhaled. I was a damp mess between my legs, and I wondered if he could smell me. "You smell so good... and fucking sexy." Sweet Jesus! His thumb rubbed over my collarbone where his hand still rested on my neck. And I did absolutely nothing to stop him. I was enjoying the view too much. I'd tousled his hair from the mauling with my hands. He still looked gorgeous and probably did even when he crawled out of bed in the mornings. Bed. Was there a bed in our immediate future? It would take next to nothing on my part to get this man into bed. I didn't have to be a genius to know he wanted sex. The real question here was did I want it? "Ethan." I pushed against the wall of steel that was his body and got nowhere. "Why are you doing this? Why are you acting this way to me?" "Don't know. I can't stay away and I'm not acting. I tried to leave you alone but I can't do it." He feathered his other hand over my hair and down until it was resting on the other side of my neck. "I don't want to stay away from you." He rubbed slow erotic circles with his thumbs meeting at the middle of my throat. "You want me too, Brynne, I know you do."