The Revenge of One Humiliated
Déesse
in her own way, a way that was not love, that was never love, that was something else, something I cannot name, something that resembles fear, hatred, jealousy, possession, everything except what a mother should feel for her daughter, even a daughter who is not her own, even a daughter she raised out of obligation, out of duty, out of interest, out of fear, I hated myself, Élianor, I hated myself, and I still hate myself, every day, every hour, every minute, every second, since I recovered my memory, since I know who I am, where I come from, where I am going, what I did, what I was, what I am, what I will be, since I know that I abandoned you, left you, forgot you, you, my daughter, my baby, my smile, my eyes, my hair, everything I had loved, everything I had lost, everything I had given, everything I had sacrificed, everything I had sold, everything I had betrayed, everything I had abandoned, everything I had left, everything I had forgotten, everything, everything, everything, so I know, Élianor, I know that you hated me, and I understand you
, I understand you, because me too, me too I hated myself, me too I hate myself, me too I will always hate myself, whatever happens, whatever you do, whatever you say, whatever you choose, because that's what it is, a mother, a daughter, something that cannot be erased, cannot be forgotten, cannot be betrayed, cannot be lied to, cannot be hidden, cannot be fled, but can hate itself, detest itself, reject itself, hurt itself, destroy itself, annihilate itself, erase itself, forget itself, everything, everything, everything".