The Biker's Rules
“Look, pal, your mom is busy making herself pretty for that lame-ass of a daddy of yours because they’re getting married. And since your idiot father didn’t know how to use a bloody condom … here you are … stuck with your grandpapas, get it?”
A beat. “So, just for today, can you keep your little ass out of trouble? Do it for granny, alright? And no shi— er, pooing in your pants. I’m not changing your diaper, little man.”
The kid shouts in joy, and Dad curses some more, probably struggling to keep his hands on the wiggling, over-energetic tornado.
“I’m getting too old for this shit,” he moans. Desperate times, desperate measures. Dad’s clearly at his wits’ end.