Funny Sayings With Food Novels & Stories

My best friend, Clara Wilder, has baked an apple pie for me. But I don't hesitate to give it to my pregnant dog. That's because I've gotten reborn. In my previous lifetime, Clara had bound the Fertility Transfer System to me. If I were to eat the food she made, the baby I was pregnant with would be transferred into her womb, and she would be the one giving birth to them. Clara had married into the wealthy Gray family. For three generations, the Grays were only able to produce one heir each. That was why her in-laws desperately needed her to bear them grandchildren. Since Clara couldn't get pregnant at all, she decided to target me, her newly-wedded best friend. I went to great lengths just to get pregnant every time, but right after I ate the food Clara made, I'd go through a miscarriage by accident. Just like that, Clara was able to give birth to four sons in a row. She became the apple of her in-laws and her husband, Colton Gray's eye, which made her ego swell like mad. In the end, Clara and Colton hatched a plot where they accused me of cheating on my own husband. With my reputation flushed down the drain, I got kicked out by my in-laws. In the end, I starved to death on the streets without a penny under my name. At the end of the day, Clara wants children very badly, doesn't she? After I get reborn, I decide to give her some special "babies".

[TRIGGER WARNING: Reader's Discretion Is Advised. This book contains mature themes, explicit sexual content, dark romantic elements, and strong language. It is intended for adult audiences(18+). Proceed with caution.] He placed a hand on my leg, and my breath caught. His hand slowly began stroking my thigh, sending a strange wave of sensation through my body. My fingers tightened against my dress as my pulse quickened. His hand moved slowly higher, sliding deeper into my thigh. My body stiffened as his fingers brushed against my panties. My heart pounded loudly in my chest. Is Master doing what I think he’s going to do? I thought, panic slowly rising inside me. He leaned slightly closer to me, his shoulder brushing mine. “Try not to moan,” he whispered, my breath hitched. I tried my best to stay still, forcing myself to keep my expression calm as the men around the table continued their conversation. But under the table, his fingers kept teasing the fabric of my panties. My breathing grew uneven, then his fingers suddenly slipped inside. A small cough escaped my lips as my body jerked slightly from the sudden sensation. Several heads turned toward me. “Are you okay, Mrs. Enzo?” one of them asked with concern. My face burned with embarrassment. “Is something wrong? Did you choke on the food?” another man asked. “I think she choked on the food,” Enzo said calmly as he looked at me, his eyes held a warning.

"You’re worthless, Evelyn. Tell me, what real Alpha would stay with a barren woman in this world?!" With trembling hands, I wiped away the tears streaming down my face. My body was weak from days without food in the cold dungeon. Evelyn’s life has never made sense. Rejected by her first mate at eighteen, she becomes an Omega slave. Fate offers her a second chance with Alpha John Xavier, who marries her, but the marriage is no better. She is treated like a servant, and two years later, his first love, Diane, returns to reclaim her place in his heart. John lavishes Diane with the affection Evelyn longs for and ultimately rejects and divorces her. Thrown into a cold dungeon as punishment, she endures days without food and water, all because of Diane who was later revealed to be pregnant for John. Just when she thinks John might have a change of heart, he demands that she sacrifice her kidney for Diane. Evelyn discovered a secret that changed everything, she was carrying John’s child. Now, five years later, Evelyn and John meet again as business partners, working together to save his struggling pack. John, filled with regret, is desperate to win her back. But there’s another man who loves her and is willing to keep her by his side. Will Evelyn forgive John and give him a second chance or will she choose the man who has vowed to never let her go?

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal. Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim. Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing. [Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.] The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door. He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?” However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

During the mass terrorist attack in Manila, every legal-aged citizen is required to work for the government in order to reclaim the living land by battling as an option. The country where the terrorists originated is still in the unknown and under further investigation. Meanwhile, juveniles who were separated from their families had no choice but to live by themselves — whereas building a town, planting food crops, hunting animals and even manslaughter is even a necessity by means of survival. Keisha and his brother, Jaden, are left alone to be chased by vicious brutes hiding from the shadows. Until then they found hope wherein they can rule over and claim justice in the ongoing catastrophe. Is this going to be their chance to be the unsung heroes?

Cassandra is summoned by a magical owl, and she discovers that another world exists in the middle of Siberia, where monsters, faeries, elves, and sorcerei fight for domination. She soon becomes inextricably involved in the affairs of this 'other dimension' that lies behind a magical mirror, and everyone in that realm is at the mercy of the blue moon. But Cassandra has never expected to meet a sorceress quite like Princess Vasilisa, not to mention, she is an actual legendary Vasilisa the Wise from the fairytale she has read as a kid. Vasilisa is also a daughter of an evil sorcerer Czar, and whose plan is to overrule the human world and the magical world with the help of an all-powerful dark lord, Koschei, the Deathless. When the night of the solstice arrives, Cassandra's mortal realm and the magical one will collide. If she doesn't help Vasilisa find the Golden Wand and stop her greedy father before the winter solstice, both their lives and everyone else's will fall into an inevitable apocalypse.

TangShi is a girl without much luck in the world. Despised by her father after her mother died giving birth to her, she has grown up in a cold and unloving environment and hated by her stepmother. Blamed for things she could never control and treated as an outcast by her own blood. Forced to come home after finally escaping to school on a self achieved scholarship abroad, she is promised to the son of the Leng family. To create a beneficial business alliance to further her own father's greed in the corporate world. Only YuZhi Leng is as unwilling as she is, with a girlfriend already in place that he adores and no desire to honor the contract put in place - to produce an heir in the first year of marriage and solidify the two families union. TangShi must bear living as a third wheel in this unwanted life and accept or be thrown aside by her family. Until upon meeting, she realizes that YuZhi may not be the stranger to her she thought he was and recognizes him on sight. Could he be the man she met eight years ago at a masked ball, who swept her off her feet and made her feel alive, and yet left her heartbroken that fateful night? A rollercoaster of a marriage is about to be embarked upon.

Usually girls loves to shop and paint their nails. But not for Valerie Hernandez. Unlike every other girls, she loves dealing with cars. She could even spend hours in the garage. This year will be Valerie last year in high school. The thought of her graduating with her boyfriend and best friend bring a smile to her face. Unexpectedly, a new student is transferring to her school. Once she laid eyes on him, she know her senior year won't go as smoothly as she thinks. What happen when Valerie and the the new student became friend? Will she feel annoyed or the exact opposite? Knowing Valerie has a boyfriend, can she choose between the two of them?

Charlie is a childish woman with a lot of secrets from the past that she can't tell to her husband, Drake. Drake is a serious type of person who will bear the struggles of being a husband of Charlie and might put him in a very dangerous situation because of the secrets Charlie have. Such as being an ex-assassin and currently a loan shark. With a misunderstanding in the past incident, someone will die, someone will be save and someone will have to pay. The question is.........who will be who?