Pinoy Q And A Jokes

"You died four days ago. You were buried yesterday. That's fast healing, even for us," Clara explained. "Us?" Clara smiled. "You have risen from the dead and have healed all your wounds. You have no pulse. You do not breathe, and we've been giving you blood so that you can survive. And the last thing you can remember is a tingling in your neck before you died." She clasped her hands together. "I've read your personnel file, Shamira. I know you're not stupid, even if your former bosses thought you were. You can figure this --" "Vampire? You're kidding, right? You have to --" "Wanna go ahead and say 'But there's no such thing as vampires' so we can get that out of the way?" "There's no such thing as vampires!"

Nasanay sa simpleng buhay si Yana at hirap mag-adjust sa marangyang buhay kasama ang bilyonaryo niyang lolo. Wala siyang alam sa negosyo at inaaming mahina ang kan’yang utak. Nagtrabaho siya sa ibang kumpanya subalit hindi naging madali dahil sa ubod ng sungit at mahigpit nilang CEO, si Alexis. Kahit masungit ang binata ay sekreto niya itong hinahangaan, lalo’t pagdating sa kan’ya ay hindi nito magawang magalit, bagay na ipinagtataka niya. Nawindang siya nang malamang si Alexis pala ang lalaking itinakda ng lolo niya na kaniyang pakakasalan. Walang alinlangang tinanggap niya ang sekretong kasal sa binata kahit na susubukin ang kaniyang pasensiya. Ikinahal nga siya rito ngunit mas malamig pa sa yelo ang pakikisama nito sa kan’ya. Umaasa siyang mapaamo niya ito sa pamamagitan ng paghilom sa sugat ng puso nito, ngunit hindi iyon kasing dali ng inaakala niya. Handa ba siyang magtiis sa one-sided love, o ibabaling ang atensiyon sa taong may pamamahal sa kan'ya?

After masking herself with the good, prim, and proper facade, the daughter of the Vela Solana Family, Willow Andromeda Salavieja, uses her pen to reveal her emotions, the only way to express her thoughts and feelings. No one knows that she writes. When she faces an existential crisis, she finds herself on the outskirts of town, where she wanders and wonders about how life is happy and simple there- or so she thought. On the day she crosses the path with Atlas Hussein Elizondo, the truth finally unveils; everything was just a hoax. She found out the poor life of the minority and how it hinders children from reaching their dreams. The moment she opened her lips, words spread and traveled. But then, she can't help but ask and doubt herself if she made the right decision.

After my husband's brother died, he took Miranda, his widowed sister-in-law in. He claimed that he would give me his love—but gave all his money to her. He said that since she had no official status, being with him would make her the subject of gossip, so he took her with him and left me behind in the countryside. Every month, he wrote me three love letters, yet sent all his allowance to her. During the famine, she and her two children sat in a warm little house eating well, while my two children died before I could return from selling my blood. One froze to death, the other starved to death. Later, my husband finally came back, but he didn’t shed a single tear for the children. Instead, he told me he wanted a divorce. "Nathalie, to apply for housing, we need a marriage certificate. It hasn’t been easy for Miranda all these years. I want to give her a home. Don’t worry, even if I marry her, I’ll still divorce her afterward—because you’re the only one I love." In the end, I was devastated and threw myself into the icy river. When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the day my children were about to die. This time, I shook them awake, ready to go reclaim everything that was rightfully mine.

The CEO of the biggest mall in the Philippines and heir to a billion dollar company marries a housekeeper's daughter. Sunny's back in Buencamino to take care of her sick mother and to rekindle her old love only to find out that her ex-boyfriend already married someone else. Heartbroken, she

Shawn hated Ami so much ever since the day they broke up. Growing up with people leaving him and broken promises, he promised himself never in his life will he want to cross path with the girl he once admired. But fate plays a different game—Shawn must marry Ami as part of his grandfather’s will in order to get his inheritance. Ami's family, now in a brink of bankruptcy after a huge loss in their last business transaction, agreed and signed the contract strengthening the deal. Once was in love; Shawn took the opportunity to make her pay. He will make her life with him a living hell!

Discovering an unknown city in the middle of the forest, a proud lesbian Claudia Laurel is transported to the night that she’s going to marry the rumored gay alpha, Pietro Leicester, to stop the prophesied war. Thinking that it was outrageous, she did everything she could to leave the place but she failed. Determined to go back home, she agreed on living with the alpha for 100 days and leaves afterward. However, upon learning the truth of her identity, that she’s not much of a stranger to this city and the man she’s living with, will she still choose to leave? Would love be enough for her to stay in his world forever?

Si Maria Chestine Salva–Selvestre ay isang butihing may bahay na mayroong masayang pamilya kasama ang anak niyang si Jonas at asawang si Johan Selvestre. Wala nang ibang mahihiling pa si Chestine dahil ang pangarap niyang masayang pamilya ay ipinagkaloob na sa kanya. Ngunit tila mababago ang lahat sa buhay nila nang dumating si Eunice Casson, ang kinuhang Nanny ni Johan para sa anak nilang si Jonas na may lihim palang pagtingin sa kanya. Kinalaunan ay may mamumuong lihim na relasyon sa pagitan nina Johan at Eunice na ikasisira ng buo at masayang pamilya ni Chestine. Malaman kaya agad ni Chestine ang lihim na pagtataksil ng mahal niyang asawa? Makaya kaya ng konsensya ni Johan na ipagpatuloy ang bawal nilang relasyon ni Eunice? Hanggang kailan maitatago ni Johan ang marumi niyang sikreto?

Nilisan ni Azalea ang kanilang probinsya dahil gusto niyang lumayo sa kanyang madrasta. Natuto siyang lumaban sa hamon ng buhay sa kanyang murang edad simula noong mamatay ang kanyang ina. Ngunit tila nagbago lahat ng kanyang plano nang biglang dumating sa kanyang buhay ang lalaking nagngangalang Izon. Izon Bricks Villamor, a twenty four year stunner and sole heir of Villamor Enterprise. He's good at everything and that includes flirting with some other random women. Paano kung isang araw bigla na lamang mabihag ni Azalea ang kanyang pusong uhaw sa atensyon? Kakayanin niya bang itaya ang lahat ng meron siya para lamang manatili sa tabi ng babaeng nakapagpa-ibig sa kanya?

Si Luke Cruise ay nagmula sa angkan ng pamilya Cruise na siyang pinakamayaman at pinakamakapangyarihang pamilya sa balat ng lupa. Nang dahil sa kanyang naging poverty training ay kinailangan niyang itago ang kanyang pagkakakilanlan, husay sa martial arts, iba pang talento at abilidad sa loob ng mahigit tatlong taon. Nakaranas siya ng panlalait, pang-iinsulto at pangmamaliit nang panahong iyon. Ngayon, sa kanyang pagbabalik bilang Young Master ng pamilya Cruise, ano kaya ang magiging reaksyon nila kapag nalaman nila ang tunay niyang pagkakakilanlan?