Very Short Quotes Funny

"Make sure you wipe the counter," I remind him while wearing my panties. "With my tongue?" "Sure, if you wipe again with disinfectant after that." "Awww my little girl all grown up, using the word disinfectant and all. Bet you're getting deflowered any day now!" I smack his head while he laughs, thinking it's funny to keep on teasing me since last week. "I hope his willy isn't as big as mine," okay what now, "so he won't hurt your flower." I wanted to be mad at him, I do, but I laugh instead, stupid Toffer and his little boy talk. *** 30 year old Nina is confused with her hopeless love life. While her best friend pleasures women in the next room, she remains in her space keeping her virginity in-tact, wondering if she’s meant to be with her first love or she needs to move on to find her true soulmate. It takes my first love to end my dating strike. But will it take my first love to end my virginity?

He was running very wildly dodging the branches, trees and sharp stones on the way his black shinning fur was waving with the cold air, his canines elongated, Alpha was grunting and grumbling running behind a wolf that was running in front in high speed, it was his violet eyes that was shining bright in the night... the anger was evident in his eyes, it felt that he will the wolf running in front... he was going to tangle the wolf but the wolf with brown fur stopped at the end of a cliff. The wolf turned around to see the black one, his muzzle was high, his eyes shining bright it felt he smirked looking at the brown wolf... the black wolf move towards the brown one, he took one step backward then he shifted into a boy with brown hairs, light blue eyes, and shinning white muscular body... "Alpha!!! let me go... I will never do the same mistake again, Please," the boy said looking in the eyes of the black wolf.The wolf moves ahead towards the boy growling loudly showing his sharp canines, the wolf was going to jump on the boy when he listened to some moment behind him in the bushes..."Alpha let him go!!! my brother didn't do anything!!! It was me who stoled the proofs," a girl's voice came from behind.The wolf ear perked upwards, he turned around to see a beautiful girl standing behind him, his nose smelled the air to find a very pleasant smell...(Marcus she is our mate!!!) Alpha Marcus wolf mumbled in his mind, his wolf Magnus eyes scanning the girl in front of him...

Tyra is an orphaned pup, adopted by a good family after her father, a brutal Alpha was killed. She's obsessed with escaping her blood oath, made at just ten years old, requiring her to marry an Alpha's son. Tyra dyes her hair, gets tattoos and piercings, anything to change her body and show her arranged mate that she alone is in control of her body. She's waited patiently for her wolf to claim her, but she knows that when it happens, Alpha Zachary is coming for her, to make her his Luna. Tyra's entire world is turned upside down when she meets Zachary, only to feel the mate bond. She is livid to discover that she wants him, and can't control her body around him. What's worse is, he is actually a nice guy. Alpha Ridge is a 26 year old who has waited a very long time for his mate, and is just about to give up when he meets Tyra on the very night she gets her wolf. How are their fates intertwined? Did the Goddess make a mistake and give Tyra two mates? Find out on this whirlwind story that will keep you guessing! *This is a spin off of my Shadow Warrior series. This book follows Alpha Ridge and Tyra, and provides more background on the Blood Claw pack. It can be read as a stand alone book. This book contains strong sexual content and violence.*

Completed just editing- Despite my family being betrayed by people they thought they knew, despite being told I should be careful with my trust. I gave it to freely and trusted the wrong wolf. He says he has his reasons but won't share what they are. He may have thought he was weakening me or trapping me but I am only stronger and more free. I have only known one way of doing things until I met her. I was raised a very certain way, with very certain rules and character traits to keep my pack strong. I was raised to seek revenge on those that took everything from me. What happens when I begin to question everything I have known and see another way things can be done. What happens when I am to late to be who she needs me to be. ***Disclaimer: This book will have sexual content and possible triggers for some individuals.

Edmund Hills was hurt when he found out that Alice was having an affair. He sued his wife for divorce and threw her out of their house. He didn't know that Alice was actually pregnant and that he was being instigated by his own mother. When the truth was revealed, Edmund was very sorry. He went looking for Alice, intending to take her home. Unfortunately, he was too late. Alice had already jumped into the river and disappeared without a trace. For years, Edmund was mired in regret. Until one day, he met Sky, a child who looked like Alice. When Edmund met her mother, he was stunned. He had found Alice! However, the woman didn't know Edmund at all. She admitted that her name was Rachel and she already had a husband. What actually happened? Was she really Alice, the wife Edmund lost due to his mother's instigation? *** Hi, guys! If you like this book, you might also like my other stories: Hiding the Twins from Their Billionaire Father (about little Louis & Emily) Mr. CEO, You Have to Marry My Mommy (Sky & Louis' love story) The Heiress' Mysterious Bodyguard (Emily & Cayden's love story) CEO's Love in Trap (about little Cayden)

Aaron Morris had it all. Good looks, a beautiful girlfriend, good grades in college. He only had one problem. He was being stalked by a red-haired nightmare otherwise known as Bella Davis! She was the bane of his existence, a thorn on his side who won't leave him alone no matter what. Will he ever get rid of her or will she continue to annoy him with her unrequited love?*This is the spin-off of The Ugly One but can be read as a stand alone novel. However, I recommended you read that one first :)*

Akihiro Tetsuya is a man with uncontrollable sex anxiety. Kaya naman hindi na niya na mabilang kung ilang babae na ba ang natikman ng kanyang alagang si Polaris. Well, hindi naman mahalaga sa kan'ya ang bagay na iyon. The important thing is, nairaraos niya ang sarili at napupunan ang kanyang sex craving. Until one time in his mission, nakilala niya si Kiah, ang babae na sinagip niya sa The Hidden Paradise. Isang club kung saan pawang mga high-paid prostitutes ang nagbibigay ng panandaliang aliw sa mga kalalakihan. Dahil sa awa at simpatya sa dalagang probinsyana, ay inalok niya itong tumira sa kan'ya at mamasukan bilang kasambahay. Pero sino ang niloloko niya? Alam niyang kaya niya inalok ang babae dahil attracted siya sa magandang katawan at perpektong dibdib nito. Magagawa pa ba niyang sawayin si Polaris gayong minu-minuto ay natutukso siya sa very innocent, charming, at "braless" na si Kiah?

"If you want a divorce, sabihin mo lang, and I will give it to you." "Tapos ano? Mawawalan ako ng karapatan sa bahay natin na milyun-milyon ang kontribusyon ko? 'Di na lang, uy! Magtiis tayo sa isa't-isa, sa hirap at ginhawa, araw at gabi, magpakailan-kailanman. Amen!" Hope Ryker Lee, the ultimate prankster, is set to marry Elisse Garcia, an heiress with a temper hotter than the sun and social skills colder than Antarctica. Hope wanted a partner as fun and lively as he is, but Elisse is introverted, snarky, and definitely not interested in playing along with Hope's high-energy antics. For Elisse, the marriage is purely a means to secure her inheritance. So, her master plan? Marry Hope, take over the company, and then kick him out of her life. Simple, right? Not quite. There's a catch: whoever calls it quits first loses their claim to their multi-million house. When Hope discovers her scheme, the real fun begins. Hilarious and heated war of pranks, sabotage, and emotional showdowns turn their home into an epic battlefield. Can they survive the chaos, or will they stumble into love amidst the madness? Get ready for a rollercoaster of laughs, schemes, and surprising twists in this comedic clash of opposites!

Nagkaroon ng kaguluhan sa coffee shop na pinagtratrabahuhan ni Sabina, isang guwapong customer ang tinamaan ng baril. Duguan itong gumapang sa pinagtataguan niya at hiniling na itago niya at pakaingatan ang maliit na box. Ngunit parang nanadya ang tadhana ng araw na iyon. Pagkatapos ng pangyayari ay tumawag naman ang step-mother niya para sabihing naaksidente ang Papa niya. Hindi na natapos pa ang kanyang kamalasan simula ng araw na iyon. Pagkatapos maratay ng Papa niya sa ospital ng ilang linggo ay binawian na rin ito ng buhay. Pagkatapos ay pinalayas siya ng kanyang madrasta sa kanilang bahay at ibenenta nito ang bahay na pag-aari ng kanyang mga magulang. Hindi pa duon natapos ang kasamaan nito. Nadiskubre niyang hindi aksidente ang nangyari sa Papa niya. Ipinapatay ito ng madrasta niya para makuha nito ang insurance ng Papa niya. Sa sobrang galit at naisipan niyang maghiganti. Aakitin niya ang bilyonaryong fiance ng step-sister niya. Laking gulat niya nang mapagtantong ang fiance nito ay ang guwapong cutomer niya sa coffee shop! At hinahanap nito sa kanya ang ipinatago nitong box. Ang problema, hindi na niya maalala kung saan niya nailagay iyon! Nanganganib ang buhay ng guwapong lalaki kapag hindi niya nahanap ang box. Ngunit mas nanganganib ang puso niya dahil napagtanto niyang umiibig na pala siya sa guwapong lalaki na nadiskubre niyang isa palang Mafia Boss.

Bonnie has spent her entire life being broken down and abused by the people closest to her including her very own twin sister. Alongside her best friend Lilly who also lives a life of hell, they plan to run away while attending the biggest ball of the year while it's being hosted by another pack, only things don't quite go to plan leaving both girls feeling lost and unsure bout their futures. Alpha Nicholas is 28, mateless, and has no plans to change that. It's his turn to host the annual Blue Moon Ball this year and the last thing he expects is to find his mate. What he expects even less is for his mate to be 10 years younger than him and how his body reacts to her. While he tries to refuse to acknowledge that he has met his mate his world is turned upside down after guards catch two she-wolves running through his lands. Once they are brought to him he finds himself once again facing his mate and discovers that she's hiding secrets that will make him want to kill more than one person. Can he overcome his feelings towards having a mate and one that is so much younger than him? Will his mate want him after already feeling the sting of his unofficial rejection? Can they both work on letting go of the past and moving forward together or will fate have different plans and keep them apart?