Novels by Cilla

Natalie's POVThe house was quiet for once.No shouting. No footsteps. Not a spurious laugh in the sitting room. Silence alone and the gentle rustle of pages.I sat in bed with my books spread all around. One laptop on my knees, one pen in my hand and my phone face-down next to me. I had already read the same page ten minutes, but at least I was making an effort. This was already over a week of what I had done.I highlighted a line and muttered it to myself so I could memorize it.Focus. Just focus.Then the silence broke."Natalie!"Loud. Sharp. Victoria in the sitting room. Annoying as always.I didn't move."Natalie, come here right now!"I closed my eyes slowly. Of course. Peace does not last long in this house.I laid the pen aside, half-closing the book, and stood up. My face remained composed but I was already feeling fatigued.As I entered the sitting room, Victoria was standing close to the center table with a phone in her hand. She did not seem to look surprised at all at my

Natalie's POV The hospital reeked of disinfection and quietness. Almost a minute elapsed before I made any movement. My body had no desire to obey, yet my hand was still on the glass door handle. “This is humiliating,” Eddie said behind me. “You took me all the way over here just to look at a door as though it offended you personally?” I didn't turn. "I'm thinking." “You have been thinking half a minute. That's already suspicious." I shook my head and opened the door. "Shut up and come in." He was walking beside me with his hands in his pockets and he was gazing about him as though he were in a museum which he had not requested to visit. “Only so that when somebody ask, I am not here because I am emotional. I'm here because you begged." "I did not beg." “You said, ‘please do not leave me alone today’. That counts as begging." I ceased to walk and stared at him. "You are such an idiot." "And you love me anyway." I sighed and kept walking. [?] The reception at the hospita

It was a noisier cafeteria that afternoon.I had just ended a group meeting with some guys in my business course and all I wanted to do was to eat and have a few minutes to relax. However, the minute I stepped in those twin doors, I had already figured that peace was not going to happen.There were too many eyes in one direction.And there in the midst of all that commotion was Natalie.She was sitting by herself at the window eating like no one was there. For a second, I stopped moving. I had not seen her since... everything.And fuck, she did not look like. It is not the same girl who was waiting outside my apartment or laughing at stupid jokes. She was cool as though she had already been in hell and did not care what happened next.Then my stomach knotted as I watched Cassandra walk up to her table with a drink in her hand with Maya and Jenna following her like trained animals."Oh, fuck," I said to myself.I had already guessed that this would be bad.I considered going over immed

Natalie's POVThe alarm went off at six.After several weeks, for once, I didn't hit snooze.A minute I stood and looked at the ceiling, and left the silence to fall on me. My room was cold, dark and plain, there was nothing about it that cried home. But it was silent, and silence was enough.I scrambled out of bed and stood before the mirror. The puffs on my eyes had subsided, the traces of the mishap were becoming less painful, but the one in me was still new and sore. I placed a hand on my stomach and shook my head. No crying today.I pulled my jeans, a hideous shirt, and pulled my hair in a sweaty ponytail. Simple. No makeup, no pretense. Just me.Today, I had lectures. Back to the same college, same dorms, same gossips. I did not mean to hide this time.By the time I arrived at the university courtyard, the venue was already in a buzz. It was nearly normal, as the sound of laughter, the sound of feet on a sidewalk and the sound of music in the distance made it feel that way.Exce

Natalie's POVNight air outside the Lawson house was chillier than it ought to be.I'd walked home with a cracked make-up face, my heels were stabbing my feet, and wedding guffaws still followed me in echoes like a phantom.I took off the shoes the moment I stepped across the door. They banged into the wall.And last, but far from least, Victoria's disapproving and always-right tone."Seriously, Natalie, why on earth do you need to be acting like some sort of heathen? Be some sort of woman from a respectable home, for goodness' sake."I turned to face her. "Respectable?" I laughed. "That's no longer a word spoken in this house, is it?"She rolled her eyes at her. "You're still bitter. How sad. You stalked the whole night like a ghost bride.""Perhaps because I was having a party for a funeral," I growled, "My own."Victoria tutted and pushed me away. "You need to apologize to Jake for a second chance. Cassandra was the better choice to begin with anyway. I mean she's classy, gorgeous,

Natalie's POVThe wedding itself was the Lawsons' worst nightmare, plus more, shallow, tawdry, and showy. The kind of luxury that is overweight with roses and decay.I sat in the back of the black sedan while Victoria reapplied lipstick for the tenth time in the rearview mirror at the rear of the vehicle. She perfumed the air with something heavy, smiled like the diamond clasp on her neck.You'll be a good girl, Natalie," she glared over her shoulder without looking at me. "No tantrum, no screaming. Sit there, smile for the cameras, and pretend the Hayes family still has morals in them."Those brutal words cut me like swords beneath my skin. "I never said I'd be making a scene."."You don't have to say it," she growled. "You just do always find a way to embarrass me." She spun her skirt around her legs and gasped for air, as if I were the assignment handed. "Don't blow this, Natalie. In case someone asks, you're happy for them. That's the script. Got it?"After my nod. Still. Taken. U