Nobela ni Jewella

Alex~The locker room goes quiet the second Seth steps in.Not silent, quiet, because the showers still run in the background and the sound of wet feet slaps the tiles still happen but no one talks anymore.Suddenly I catch myself understanding his earlier question. Seth however doesn’t act like any of this has affected him and continues his walk into the room like he hasn’t been missing from the space for weeksHis duffel slides off his shoulder and lands on the bench with a soft thud but doesn’t look around. He doesn’t need to to knowing that they’re all watching.I hang back at the door and watch the scene unfold, leaning against the frame. Nobody’s paying me any mind as they’re all focused on him. Seth pulls off his hoodie, folds it and sets it on top of his bag. His movements are steady, deliberate, but I can see the tension in his shoulders, the way his hands don’t quite relax but they don’t shake. I don’t want to be in his shoes right now.A couple guys glance at each other. N

Alex~Seth’s not himself.He wants me to believe it’s just another day, but the truth bleeds out in the smallest ways. He keeps retying his sneakers until the laces look like they’re about to snap in two, he cracks his knuckles then clenches his hands like he’s trying to force them still, his jaw keeps ticking while he is struggling to keep up his mask of indifference.I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, pretending to scroll through my phone, but my eyes keep drifting to him. He paces once across the room, stops at the door like he’s ready to leave, then doubles back and drops onto the mattress beside me, head tipped back, eyes shut like he needs to reset himself.“You don’t have to go in looking like you’re about to be executed,” I say softly.He cracks one eye open at me, expression somewhere between tired and amused. “That obvious?”I don’t answer, because yeah, it is.Today’s the day his suspension is over and he’s supposed to walk back into the gym and act like he belongs there,

Alex~I wake up slowly, with the blaring of my alarm clock and without the usual guilt that accompanies me from time to time. My body feels heavy in the sheets and anchored by a weight and warmth that isn’t mine. For a second I think I’m dreaming because there’s no way Seth’s leg is still draped across my hip, no way his breath is this steady against the side of my neck. But then he shifts and his thigh presses closer, and the dream gives way to undeniable reality.I keep my eyes closed for a little while longer than I should trying to hold the moment in the dark and make it last before light ruins it.I pray to whatever deity hovering around that after this time, we don’t go through another shitstorm. All my days after the best sex of my life turns into a whole week of going ten steps backwards after taking just one forward.When my eyes peel open, I can feel that today is different.My voice comes out quiet, almost swallowed by the sheets.“Hopefully we get a full week of good new

Seth~I can’t sit still.I’ve been pacing the same strip of floor for twenty minutes, back and forth, like if I stop moving my chest will cave in. My heart won’t slow down. My hands keep finding each other, wringing, then dropping, then tugging through my hair.The livestream ended an hour ago, but the words are still echoing inside me. Alex on that panel, sitting there with Jordan, his voice steady even when his hands shook. The way he talked about hiding, kissing boys in secret and about shame and refusing to apologize for his heart.And then the question. Are you in love?He didn’t hesitate long. Just enough for me to hold my breath until it hurt. Then he said it, the words I didn’t let myself dream about.“Yeah. I think I am.”I swear the air left my body all at once and my knees almost gave out. I whispered me too to the empty room, because that’s all I could do, because if he’d been standing in front of me I think I would have grabbed him and never let go.Now he’s about to w

Seth I get an invite but I don’t go.Not because I don’t want to see him, not because I don’t care, but because the thought of walking into that room and sitting among strangers while Alex answers questions about himself makes my chest feel too tight. He needs space. He deserves it and maybe I’m just a coward who doesn’t want the camera to catch my face and read me before I’m ready.So I stay in the dorm. Hoodie over my head, curtains pulled against the afternoon light, my laptop balanced on my knees. The livestream opens, some university media team streaming the whole thing for students who couldn’t make it. The title card flashes‘Queer Youth in Today’s World: First Panel Discussion’ and then the feed cuts to the stage.Alex walks in beside Jordan, and I forget how to breathe for a second. He’s in his button-up that he wears when he wants to look responsible, sleeves rolled up like he got annoyed halfway through dressing and stopped trying. His hair’s a little messy, like he didn

Alex~The morning of the first panel meeting feels heavier than most, like I’ve been walking toward it for weeks without realizing. The email reminder has been sitting in my inbox I must’ve checked the time on my phone a dozen times before my alarm even went off.Jordan’s supposed to come by so we can head over together. Just thinking about sitting on that stage, in front of strangers who’ll be waiting for us to bleed honesty into microphones, makes my stomach twist. Underneath though, there’s a flicker of something else beneath the nerves, like an anticipation. A chance to say things out loud that I’ve only ever whispered in dark rooms.Jordan shows up at my door in his usual way, he knocks loudly without patience. I’m halfway through tying my shoelaces when I hear him, and Seth, who’s been quiet all morning, glances at me from his bed.“You expecting the Pope?” Seth mutters.I don’t answer, mostly because my stomach’s already a knot. I just shove my feet into my sneakers and open

Marcus MatthewsThe pen swirls between my fingers coming to rest between my index and thumb in rapid succession, One might say I was bored, but in reality, it was all I could do to still myself as the thoughts ran their wild course through my mind. My fingers jerk each time I think of Orion and the gun.“Take care of him” My brother Dane had requested simply.Giving him a 44 magnum pistol had not been part of what he requested and I’m pretty sure he’d have my balls on a stick flying high over his pool-house if he found out, but then again the crazed look in his eyes had been something I’d recongized. It was the same fire that had been in Dane’s eyes for Miranda all those years ago before he became a money conscious prick.The door bursts open as I oblige myself to a taste of scotch, and a burly looking guard I frankly don’t remember hiring walks in.“Sir,” he says simply waiting for my signal before he continues, I raise my glass to him and he steps back “The quarry has arrived and he

Paloma“You sure you don’t want to stay?” Casey asks for the billionth time that morning “I could as well just tell my parents to come at a later date or we could-"“It’s fine Casey” I reassure her again. “Besides you haven’t seen them in God knows how long, it would be selfish of me to let you pass up the opportunity.”“But-” she opens her mouth to raise another argument.My hands are faster and I raise it to silence her.“Enough Casey” I say, blowing my sweaty hair out of my face as I haul my suitcase from my room “I swear if you ask me one more time I’ll shove this suitcase so far up your arse you’ll sneeze bra, if you really want to help, then help me bring the luggage to the door.”She smiles and obliges me and I heave a breath as she takes the box off my hands.“It’s a two week stay,” she says huffing “Why do you need so much and how do you even have so much stuff, are you moving?”“Its stuff I need” I tell her “Just help me get it to the door would you.” Certain strings of exp

OrionIt had been a week since she was discharged and still my fingers has not learnt to uncoil the gun, I wonder how she will react if she found that I had been sleeping right outside her apartment with a revolver in my hands like some crazed paw patrol squad. I counted down the time until Casey’s parents would arrive, then she would have to stay with me for awhile and then maybe I’d finally get some shut-eye.It has been quite unmemorable this past week with some days leaving a bitter taste trailing down my throat like when I had to grovel back to join the team, the all too enthusiastic glint in the coach’s eyes made me want to vomit. I hated that he got to win like that but in the end I’d grovel before a thousand worlds if it will keep her safe.The night was awfully quiet save for the occasional hooting of the owl and the constant ticking of my watch, I should sleep even if it’s a little but I cannot bring myself to do so, even if she has begun to notice it, there’s too much on my

PalomaA string of expletives escapes from my lips and he winced, with a strength I did not know I possess I leap from the confines of my bed and rushed headfirst towards him, my fists raised high up in the air, he did not stop me but he sure did not expect as my arms wraps around him, crushing myself into his chest.“Thought you weren’t coming back.” I whisper into him, “why the fuck didn’t you come back, you had left, I could not-”In that moment he lifts my face up placing a deep kiss on my lips and silencing me, it was right, something I was hoping for, like an addictive drug that I had gone too fucking long without, it was relief, we finally break away from our kiss, his hands still cupping my face as we stare into the endlessness of each other, he opens his mouth to say something but a deep clearing of someone’s throat kills off whatever words were to come out.“Orion in love.” A deep voice says from behind him. “Never thought I’d see it come, your father must be absolutely livi

PalomaWe have lived almost everywhere before, from shanty houses to trailer parks, things kind of got awry when dad left and having little next to nothing.Didn't seem to help matters. I vaguely remember her now but for all the mystical things in the world, things didn’t come close to Mama Lupé.It was a dark time for me with dad gone, I was nine and Mom’s habit of drugs and drinking had begun to become less of a hobby and more of a daily routine, it was expected that without a job that we would be kicked out and the landlord had been lenient enough, mom was not picking up her act and soon the need for money had us out on our backs and into the streets.This was perfect scene for Mom anyway and I only remember him as Luca but he was one of the worst moments of my life but still I had nowhere to go, stuck in a trailer park with Mom’s dealer and new love interest, it was in the next trailer I met one of the most interesting women.Her skin was what drew me to her in the first place, I’

Chapter Twenty SevenOrionFocus on her smile.Focus on her smile.Focus on her smile.My eyes betray me once again and my gaze drifts over her, I wince annoyance and a gain the cloud of annoyance falls so much so that her voice seems far off, drifting off with the cold air that blew from the air conditioning."Orion,” she calls to me. “You seem off, I'm fine you know, you really don't have to-"She stops when she catches my gaze and for a moment our eyes linger telling the truths that our lips were afraid to say, I knew her enough to know when she put up the fake facade, that show of strength when when really it was all jelly underneath the iron facade, it didn't make feel better, it made me feel worse and I feel her cold hands against mine, she notices my looks and squeezes my hand, looking up to the ceiling, she blows a breath."Fine, it's stupid to say I'm fine," she says. “Any idiot can see I'm not fine, is it your fault? Could this have been avoided? Maybe.” I grunt interruptin