CHAPTER FIVE: A NIGHTMARE

The night had come again. After the moment I've spent with Maria, I learned a lot of things. She was a nosy person and she really helped me doing things I didn't know. 

Edward fetched me and led me to my room. He brought me foods and waited for me to finish eating before leaving me all alone again. 

I hate this kind of feeling where I felt nothing, but the fear that memories will come back again as the darkness envelopes the light. I hate to rethink every moment I had with him. It's tearing me apart to the point that I couldn't get myself up anymore.

"Why do you have to leave me all of a sudden? You promised me that you'll never leave despite of your condition," I asked by the wind, hoping it will reach him and I will finally get an answer. 

It is really hard to pretend that everything is just okay when the truth is, I couldn't even take a breath anymore. 

*FLASHBACK*

"I wish you all the best that this life could give." 

When he uttered those words, I felt like my heart was about to explode.

"I will get you the moon and the stars above. I will be okay soon and I will come back to you. We will get married and we will our own children."

I started to feel the tears in my eyes, but I tried so hard to stop it from dropping. I don't want him to get worried because I want him to feel okay every second that will pass when I'm beside him. 

"Wait for me, please. My Lilith, just wait for me," he said between the tears that are flowing down his cheek. 

I started walking towards him and when I finally reached the place where he was standing, I hugged him tight as I can. 

"I will wait for you, mi amor," I said while sobbing. 

I can't help it anymore, my tears started flowing too, as I reached his soul. I love him, if only I could just bring things to what it used to be. I wish I had the powers so I can make him okay as soon as possible. 

"I'm sorry if I have to leave you all alone despite the promises I have said to you, the moon and the stars are the witnessed yet I am going to break it all."

I shook my head because I believe that he will do this on purpose. He will have to do this because he needs to be okay, physically, emotionally and mentally. 

"Stop, you're not going to break it all apart. You just have to follow your parents because it is all for you," I said, contradicting him. 

We stopped hugging each other. I looked at him straightly in his eyes. I smiled as wide as I can. 

I want to be a motivation for him to keep on going. I love him so much to the point that I will everything. To the point that even if I am scared to be left all alone, I will let him leave me. 

We started facing each other and his tears never stopped to flow, it's like a river that no matter what you do, it will flow and flow, again and again. 

"I love you, I love you so much, mi amor."

When I heard those words, my stomach started to feel a lot of butterflies flying. 

"I love you too."

*END OF FLASHBACK*

I slapped myself as hard as I can because here I am again, thinking about those memories I tried to forget so hard. 

"Why do you have to make me suffer?" I asked while sobbing. 

I couldn't help myself, but to cry so hard as if it was the end of the world.

I really pity myself for what happened at three months ago. I couldn't believe that in just a moment, everything will turn like this. I lost everything, I lost my sanity, I lost him. 

How will I be able to start a new life again if I know, that he's already gone and no matter what I do, he will never come back again. 

Even if I cry blood, he will never come back again in my arms. 

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" I shouted to the top of my lungs. 

I wanted to forget everything, I wanted to erase the memories. I just wanted to let myself flows in the river.