A License To Kill My Husband

My husband's words echoed in my head as I saw his twelve year old love child playing with her toys by the side of the living room.

"Cheating is in a man's DNA. It's in our nature to cheat because we have desires"

That had been what he told me the day he brought her home a few years ago.

I remember the day like it was yesterday, the shock, devastation, and the heartbreak I felt but he just stood there with that smug look on his face and told me that it was just his nature.

As if that was supposed to make everything okay.

As if that was supposed to excuse his infidelity and betrayal.

My mother in-law's words cut through my thoughts with her tone imperious.

"Are you just going to stand there doing nothing? I asked for a hot chocolate latte more than twenty minutes ago! Be quick about it before I loose my appetite"

She was seated at the sofa in the living room watching a lifestyle documentary. My husband's second love child, an eight year old girl with dark hair sat at her feet.

"Ria, why didn't you take away the dishes you ate with?" I asked the little girl, trying to keep my tone neutral.

My mother in-law intervened before Ria could respond.

" Oh don't mind her. You know she's just a little girl and they tend to do these alot. Why don't you take the dishes away by yourself? It's almost time for you to wash them anyways"

I felt a surge of frustration but I bit back my retort. Instead,I turned to face my mother In-law, my eyes locking into hers.

"She is eight years old mother. Old enough to take responsibility for her actions"

My mother in-law's expression turned icy but I stood my ground. I was tired of being walked over, tired of being treated like a doormat.

"I'm not going to sit back and watch you spoil her rotten mother" I said with my voice firm.

" She needs to learn discipline and responsibility"

The air was thick with tension as we stared each other down but I refused to back down.

" You can just go away if you don't want to do your responsibilities anymore. There are plenty women that would be too willing to take your position" the twelve year old spoke up with her voice dripping with malice, cutting through the tension that had enveloped the room.

I cackled in exasperation and shock after hearing the harsh words that came out of the little girl's lips. I knew she was a rude brat but I couldn't believe it had reached this extent.

I felt annoyed to the point of wanting to remind her of her place and her position as an illegitimate child whom I was housing in my marriage, but decided against it.

She was a little girl and that level of bluntness would hurt her feelings, and so I kept silent.

"If you had your own children, this wouldn't have happened"

My mother in-law said as if it had been my fault the children were rotten.

I quietly walked towards kitchen leaving out the dish that was in the living room.

I couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. Anger, frustration, and sadness swirled inside me making my head spin. I thought about the twelve-year-old's harsh words and my mother-in-law's condescending tone. How could they be so cruel?

I opened the kitchen cabinet and pulled out a plate, my mind still reeling from the conversation. Why did my mother-in-law always have to belittle me? And why did my husband's love child have to be so rude? I felt like I was walking on eggshells, never knowing when someone would lash out at me.

As I began to wash the dishes, my thoughts turned to my husband. Where was he? Why wasn't he here to discipline his children since I wasn't allowed to? Did he even care about how his family treated me? I felt a pang of sadness and loneliness. Was I just a doormat to them? A means to an end?

I scrubbed the dishes harder, trying to distract myself from my thoughts. But they lingered, refusing to be silenced. I felt like I was trapped in a never-ending cycle of pain and hurt. And I didn't know how to escape.

"Esmeralda!!! My chocolate latte!!!!!" my mother in-law shouted interrupting my thoughts.

I sighed inwardly, feeling a sense of frustration.

"It's coming, mother" I replied trying to keep my tone neutral.

I quickly finished the dishes I was washing and proceeded to prepare her hot chocolate latte.

I handed her the hot chocolate latte trying to muster up a smile. I was always shouldering the burden of this family's behavior and I didn't want it to be noticed.

I turned to walk away but my mother in-law's next words after I handed her the latte stopped me in my tracks.

"You know Esmeralda, you're not a very good woman! If you were your husband would be here with you, not off gallivanting with his mistress"

Her voice dripped with disdain and I was left wondering why she could be this heartless to her own daughter in-law. Didn't she care about my feelings at all? I felt a stinging sensation in my eyes but I was able to control the tears that wanted to form.

I turned to walk away from her presence. I didn't want to argue with her as I was not in the mood to, and I had other chores to do around the house as there were no helpers, and she didn't even lift her hand to do anything. Sitting in front of the TV watching lifestyle documentaries of the rich was her daily routine, and I haven't been able to do anything to stop her addiction, and neither has her son either.

As I turned to walk away, I heard the front door creaking open and stood to behold my husband walking in. He carried a suitcase on one arm and his briefcase on the other and I wondered who owned the first.

Perhaps he was bringing home one of his new illegitimate children, that was the style he brought the others home with in the past.

But before I could even process those thoughts, a woman walked into the house behind my husband. I felt a jolt of surprise, my eyes widening as I took in the sight of the woman.

And then, my jaw dropped as I realized who the woman was.

I felt like I had been punched in the gut. What was she doing here? Why had my husband brought her into our home when she was supposed to be abroad studying. And why was her belly almost bigger than mine?