Chapter 1

Hannah's POV

Without a word, I pulled the sleeping pills I always kept in my purse and began pushing them into my mouth one by one.

Claire didn't notice. She just kept talking.

"Do you know why Yates is so terrified you'll kill yourself? It's because he's afraid Winnie will do the same thing after you. How could he not panic?

"And do you really think Yates could take care of the baby all by himself? Custody was transferred to Winnie a long time ago. The first person your baby ever called 'Mommy' was her."

I listened numbly as the bitter pills caught in my throat.

Suddenly, I remembered the things people around me used to say.

"Mr. Zane has to play both mom and dad. Hannah had one baby and somehow ended up depressed, like giving birth was some huge deal."

"Thank God her best friend stepped in. Otherwise, she'd have driven Mr. Zane insane sooner or later."

...

So Winnie had replaced me as my child's mother long ago.

"Hannah Cole!"

The next second, Yates spotted me from the stage. He bolted toward me on instinct and immediately tried to make me throw up.

"Hannah, let me explain. This isn't what it looks like..."

His eyes were so red they looked ready to bleed.

I collapsed to the floor like a rag doll, wet, half-dissolved pills spilling from my mouth.

Still in her wedding dress, Winnie looked at me with utter exhaustion.

"Because of your depression, he's gone his whole life without even getting a proper wedding.

"He just wanted to know what it felt like to be a groom. I was doing him a favor. Are you seriously going to deny him even that much freedom?

"Please stop making a scene. I'm begging you."

I clenched my fists as wave after wave of emotion crashed over me.

When panic left me trembling, I instinctively reached for my antidepressants.

For the first time, Yates didn't hand them to me right away.

His eyes were fixed on the cut across Winnie's arm.

I struggled to breathe. It felt as though something inside my chest was slowly breaking apart.

Then Yates's phone rang sharply.

It was the nanny, Nora Hayes.

His expression changed at once.

"The baby's running a fever? Okay. I'm coming home right now."

He and Winnie exchanged a look, then turned to leave, perfectly in sync.

Some last maternal instinct forced me to my feet. I grabbed the hem of his jacket.

"I'm coming too."

Yates looked back at me, and for the first time, I saw nothing but exhaustion and disgust in his eyes.

Of course.

Just hearing Leo cry was enough to send me into an emotional breakdown. What could I possibly do to help?

My hand fell away.

Yates and Winnie hurried off together, moving with the effortless understanding of a real family.

Behind me, my sister let out a satisfied laugh.

"Mom and Dad wanted you to have the best of everything, so they sent me away and had someone else raise me.

"Now you finally know what it feels like to be abandoned, don't you?"

In that moment, five years of love and more than twenty years of sisterhood collapsed all at once.

I stumbled home in a daze, pulled the box I had hidden on the top shelf of my closet, and took out the long-acting sleeping pills inside. One after another, I swallowed them.