Stage 3 - When Threats Arise

~Coming down to earth, the bloom comes off the rose.~

You can never really know every aspect of yourself in every situation until you experience it. I found the absence of the "honeymoon high" fading quickly. Did that mean my marriage was in trouble?

As the honeymoon haze fades, reality unveils my partner's true colors. 

I still enjoy my husband, but at this stage, I realize he was a human being with all that implies.  

Rome's faults and habits are not as cute as they were during the honeymoon stage. I'm feeling conflicted, trying to understand whether it's the drinking, the partying, love, or a lack thereof. I find myself asking the question, "What was I thinking?"

I took a deep breath. There was no more thinking about it; it was time to act. I loved my husband, but most of all, I wanted to protect and save my marriage. So, I dialed the number on the card and waited. The ring echoed ominously in my ear until finally—"Hello!" a chipper voice chirped. 

"Is this Katie?" 

"Yes, it is! Who am I speaking with?" 

The nonchalance in her tone ignited a fire in my gut. "I'm Hailey, Rome Martinez's wife."

Silence stretched for a heartbeat like an eternity. "Oh," came the hesitant response. 

"I found your business card tucked in his blazer. I think it's time we have a conversation." 

I could hear the hesitation in her voice, but then she spoke, her voice gaining strength.

"I didn't mean to intrude or cause any problems. Rome and I just chatted in the lounge the other night. We exchanged cards." 

"Chatted?" My voice shook with rage. "You thought it was appropriate to flirt with a married man? You knew he was taken. I'm sure you saw he wore a wedding band even if he didn't mention his marital status."

"I swear, I didn't know!" Katie protested. "We just talked, that's all. He's charming—"

"Charming, huh? That 'charming' man is married to me, and you must stay away from him."

Silence lingered like a bitter taste. "I didn't mean any harm," she finally said. 

"Sorry, I can't say the same thing because I meant every word I said. Be careful, Katie, where you decide to drop your number."

I ended the call, my hands trembling with fury and heartache. The sense of betrayal washed over me, igniting a firestorm of emotions. I couldn’t shake the feeling of being blindsided, and the intensity of my feelings threatened to overwhelm me.. Rome strolled in, wiping his hands on a dish towel. His casual demeanor only fueled my anger. 

"Hey, what's wrong, baby?" he asked, kissing me. His innocent tone and concerned expression twisted something inside me.

"Do you want to know?" I held up the business card in my hand, trembling.

Rome took a step back, his eyes widening in confusion. "What's this?" 

"Really? You don't recognize it?" I threw the card down on the kitchen table, watching as it fluttered like an accusation in the air between us. "Is this where you've been spending your time?" 

"Hailey, I can explain—" 

"Explain what? How did you charm your way into some strange woman's heart?" 

"No, that's not—" His voice cracked, an edge of guilt creeping into his tone. 

"Then what is it?" I pressed, tears pooling in my eyes. "Tell me how you convince women to slip their numbers into your suit jacket without it meaning anything."

"Women slip cards into my pockets all the time! It doesn't mean anything," he shot back, his tone shifting to anger. 

"Then what does it mean, Rome?" My heart races, anger and hurt blending to form an unyielding wall. "You didn't think I would find it?" 

"I just—" His voice faltered, and he rubbed the back of his head, his frustration evident. "I didn't—"

"You didn't think!" I interrupted, my voice rising over his. "You're playing with fire and don't even realize it. Do you think I would just stand by while you micro-cheat on me with someone else?"

"Micro cheating, what's that, Hailey! It was simply a mistake!" Rome's voice rose to match mine, a mix of guilt and defensive anger flooding him. The harsh tone cut through the emotions swirling inside me.

"A mistake!" I scoffed. "Mistakes don't involve exchanging business cards, and you are so foolish that you don't even realize what you did last night!"

"Last night?" He ran his fingers through his hair, pacing. "Look, I don't know what you are talking about! You think I wanted her to give me that?"

At that moment, the pain morphed into a bitter realization. "I can't believe you're making excuses. It sounds like you're trying to justify behavior you know is wrong."

"I can't believe you would accuse me like this! After all we've been through! It's almost our fifth anniversary!" He shot back angrily, his hands balled into fists. 

"And what about it, Rome? Do you think I'm overreacting? That I should just trust you blindly after your actions?!" I felt a wave of hopelessness wash over me. 

Rome's face fell, the anger fading into a look of distress. At that moment, I could see both the guilt and the frustration—a storm of emotions rocked between us, and I was left standing in the eye of it.

"I'm sorry," he said, finally, sincerity trembling in his voice. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I promise it hasn't gone any further than flirting."

"Sorry isn't enough anymore," I whispered, my lips trembling, my heart breaking at the sight of him. But his words clashed with the feelings of betrayal that echoed louder in my mind.

Once again, our lives were intertwined in a web of deceit, anger, and confusion. Whether we could untangle it was uncertain. The card remained on the table—a reminder of the shadows that had crept between us, hinting at betrayals yet to be uncovered. I wondered if it had only been mere flirting? Had I caught the early stages of the disease that was trying to enter my marriage, and had nipped it in the bud? I stood there, every fiber of my being screamed for clarity amid the chaos of my failing trust.

Rome looked so sad, "Can I hug you, please? It breaks my heart to see you hurting. I get with the guys and start drinking, and I'm not as cautious as I should be."

"Well, something has to change."

"Hailey, I want you to trust me, and I know how you feel. I would go crazy if I found someone else's number in your possession."

"I'm happy you understand."

"Yes, I do because you are my number one lady. I tell you what."

"What?"

"I won't go out drinking anymore unless you are by my side. I promise. I will have fun at home in my wife's present. How does that sound?"

I felt thrilled that he was willing to make such a sacrifice. My mouth had opened to thank him for caring about my feelings. But he never gave me the chance. My body reacted to the delicious sensation of his mouth on mine. Again, he began with a tentative exploration that quickly became a sensuous entwining of our tongues.

Rome withdrew from the kiss to outline the curve of my cheek, brush the sensitive skin behind my ear, and trail his nose along my neck. Then, nipping at my earlobe. "I've never met a woman like you, and I don't think I ever will. So you don't have to worry, baby, you got me."

********

I was forced to remove the rose-colored glasses. Rome might as well have snatched them from my face because I wasn't ready for what I would see next. He did keep his word to me. I recalled our first anniversary bash and what all that entailed.

Rome started hosting gatherings at least once a month, sometimes two in a single month. He splurges on expensive drinks and food, giving away Victoria's Secret party favors to female partygoers as door prizes. My credit card bill escalated from all the charges for these parties as they became wilder than the last.

While the excitement initially thrilled me, a creeping sense of unease settled in. I often found myself on the sidelines, watching him become a magnet for attention. I reveled in his charisma but couldn't shake the feeling of being overshadowed and overlooked. Somehow, I had fooled myself into thinking this would be about us spending more fun time together. It turned out it was about him spending more time with everyone else.

Then, one Friday night, I had to work late; it was Parent Conference night for my kindergarten babies. I came home exhausted and walked into an unplanned party at my home., My heart dropped. A girl was giving Rome, my husband, a lap dance, and in that instant, a cold wave of betrayal washed over me.

My pulse quickened, and a lump formed in my throat. Confusion and disbelief flooded my mind; every joyful moment we'd shared seemed to fade into a distant memory. The thrill of our love was suddenly eclipsed by doubt, and the air in the room felt suffocating.

How could what I feel in my heart for my husband, who's so vibrant and exciting, now feel so excruciatingly painful? I stood frozen, torn between wanting to erupt and feeling utterly helpless, my heart racing with a mix of anger and despair as I watched the man I loved lose himself, jeopardizing our marriage, and for what? Unexpectedly, my emotions did erupt like a volcano, releasing all the hot lava inside me. 

"Get off of him!"  I yelled at that slut! "Rome, I'm going to kill you!"

Around me, everyone began laughing. His coworkers and model friends all looked like they were high on something. Things always get too loose when that happens. But who they were laughing at was me.

"Everyone out, get out! The party is over! This isn't someplace where you come and have orgies!" I shouted, showing everyone the front door.

Rome was so turned on from what he had just experienced that he jumped up quickly. He nearly lost his balance, feeling the effects of sexual stimulation and being drunk. I watch him hurry to the bathroom, trying to cover the bulge in his pants. He wanted to escape the chaos in my voice and what I would bring to him next. 

I waited and banged on the door for him to leave that bathroom, which he never did.

"Rome! No more parties! You get too drunk and go too far! I'm tired of it; it's not fun anymore!"