I crave for you

Putting my food in the fridge, no longer hungry,. Stared at the can of whipped cream now sitting on my counter and cursed that our night did a complete turn around. Maybe this was a sign that we shouldn't be together after all. It was clear that we both had some serious shit to work through and perhaps our situations would never allow us to be together. The sex was amazing and maybe that's all it will ever be.

Sitting down at my kitchen island, I stared at the marble countertop and refused to believe that I can't put my finger on but I know it doesn't just stop at sex. She has to feel it too, right? Maybe she does and maybe that's why she's always pushing me away tells me one thing..... she's had a bad past with a man or men, and even though I don't know what that past is, I know that a bad past cab ruin a lot of things. I know this because I'm literally living a ruined future because of a fucked up past myself. I haven't told her a thing about me and that was probably a good thing. I