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Chapter 21 - Ticking Time Bomb
Cailen sat on the edge of his childhood bed with his eyes locked on the envelope in his hands.
He only stared at it because he didn't know what to do with it. He didn't know why Eden and Dean had given it to him. He didn't know why he was dwelling on it either.
It was just a letter.
Supposedly a letter from his biological mother that's he's never even seen before, but still, just a letter.
Obviously he should open it, he should read it and try to make sense of it but he couldn't.
There was something stopping him. What, he did not know, but there it was inside him, preventing his finger from tearing open the envelope and seeing what was inside.
It was just, he's never wondered about his biological mother. Not really. Sure, for a while he wondered why he was dropped off at the orphanage in the first place but he's never actually wondered about what his mother looked like or what kind of person she was.
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A Place To Call Home Chapter 22 - Getting Caught Up
"Cailen," Asher's voice came from behind him, soft and concerned.He turned around and looked up the couple inches to meet Asher's eyes. Asher's hand on his wrist tightened as if to reassure that he was in fact, there."Are you sure you want to go? I can tell them you're not feeling well," Asher offered and Cailen really wished he would stop.Something about the way Asher was looking at him, like Cailen looked about ready to break down, made him feel like he was actually about to break down.But he couldn't. Not yet.He had to stay strong and just get through the mall."I'm good, Ash. Really," Cailen said more cheerfully than he felt.Asher continued to look at him, his eyes searching his face for any doubt. Cailen wanted Asher to understand that he was fine, that he didn't need to pretend to be sick or that he didn't need Asher to coddle him and talk about what was on his mind, because he didn't want to talk about whatever was in the letter or the letter in general.He wished the let
A Place To Call Home Chapter 23 - Putting Leash
Itsjust... It was hard and it only got harder as the day went on.Cailenwould catch himself staring at Asher, not even realizing that he was and then Noahwould nudge him or clear his throat and raise his eyebrows at him.Cailencouldn't help it. He knows that forhim, Asherhas always had a special place in his heart, a different place from Williamor Matthewbut he just refused to acknowledge it.He could play off the feeling of adoration when Asherwould rush to help a little old lady carry her groceries to her car as friendship. He could play off the fondness when Asherdidn't understand a dirty joke because he was too innocent as friendship.He could play off all those feelings as friendship and nothing more,but this?This was definitely not friendship.Friends didn't daydream about what their friend’s lips felt like. They didn't daydream about holding their h
A Place To Call Home Chapter 24 - Unrestrained
It went on like this for a while.Cailenwould spend his nights staring at the envelope, too afraid to open it but too curious to just throw it out.He wasn't getting a lot of sleep and Asherwasn't the only one beginning to notice.Everyone was starting to comment on how tired Cailenlooked and asking if he was alright,but Cailenwould just brush it off, making up some excuse about not being used to his bed and they'd move on.Asher, however, wasn't buying it.He would constantly check on Cailen, asking if he needed anything or if he wanted to talk. For the most part,he was pretty subtle about it but sometimes,he would be a bit more direct and ask Cailento open up-if not to him,then justtosomeone so he could get help.Asher's gone as far as begging Cailen, pleading he just wanted to help and that he hated seeing him like this and that he was beginning to worry
A Place To Call Home Chapter 25 - Scared
Cailenhas always been an emotional drunk.Everyone knows that. Everyone knows he's more likely to declare his love for you, loudly and repeatedly.They know he's more likely to take things seriously so they like to take the piss out of him to see if he'll cry. He's been known to have a mental break down a time or two because there was no vodka left and he loves vodka.Cailenthinks it's because for a very brief moment,he's able to be anyone he wants to be and he can pass it off as just being drunk. He's able to be a side of him he never gets to be,so his mind jumps at the chance and takes it too far.And more often than not, he ends up a blubbering mess.So he really shouldn't be surprised when he wakes up the next morning clutching onto… something.His head poundedfrom the sunlight pouring in through his windows and his eyes cemented shut from dried tears. When he stirs,he's unable to
A Place To Call Home Chapter 26 - A Peek In The Past
There was another silence, the boys too shocked because Cailennever told anyone that. Not a soul. He's never even hinted at being that bothered by the situation and now,he just dumped it on them,so he supposed the shock was warranted. "You don't have to do any of that, Cai,"Ashersaid, finally breaking the silence, reaching out and brushing some of Cailen'shair out of his face. "You don't even have to read the letter. It's your decision. But you had a lot of questionslast night-ones that we can't answer. But this letter- It might have what you're looking for. This letter is nothing but a possible answer. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean that you have to go find her, it doesn't mean that you're a mistake,because you're not,"Ashersaid, his hand resting on his shoulder, squeezing gently before continuing. "You're not a mistake because you were meant to be here, with m- us. I
A Place To Call Home Chapter 27 - Unsure Feelings
Cailenwasn't sure how he felt.If Williamand Asherwere to ask him if he was okay, he wouldn't have answer. If someone were to ask him if he wanted to cry, he wouldn't know. If someone were to ask him if he wanted to scream or throw something, he'd have no clue.He didn't feel angry. He didn't feel sad. He just didn't really feel.He was expecting this letter to change his opinion, to change how he felt, to change something. But it didn't.The only thing that changed was that he knew his mother had been too young to take care of him, and yes, that explains some things. But he still had questions.He still wanted to know more.He didn't know why he wanted to know more. He shouldn't care what she looked like or if he looked like her. He shouldn't care what her voice sounded like or what color her eyes were.These things shouldn't matter because she wasn't part of his life and she never would be. She didn't
A Place To Call Home Chapter 28 - Keepsakes
"Do you want to talk about it?" Asherasked after his rambling died off, his voice turning into a whisper to match Cailen's."No.""Okay,"Asherdidn't push any further.He just held Cailenclose and left him to his thoughts but Cailenwasn't so sure that was a good thing. He could feel himself slipping, slipping into a hole he wasn't sure he'd be able to drag himself out of.And the only thing he had to hold onto was Asher.Asherand his caring eyes and warm smile, his strong arms and gentle touch and it should be enough.It should be enough to keep him from slipping into the empty pit that he felt like,because Ashermade him feel good.But it wasn't. It wasn't enough because Asherwasn't his to hold onto and he never would be.It was really frustrating because he needed Asher. He needed his stupid jokes and caring nature. He needed his friendship. He needed it now mo
A Place To Call Home Chapter 29 - Truth Or Dare
Finding a distraction wasn't hard in this group of friends he had.Between the four of them,it was never hard to come up with something to do.But now they had Noahand his ideas were usually crazy and perfect for distracting Cailen.He wasn't sure if they knew hewanted the distractions but they all seemed to be trying extra hard to get Cailenout of the house and keeping him busy. Cailentried to remain in a good mood, trying to be that happy fun guy everyone was used to,but it wasn't always that easy.He was getting a lot of mood swings lately and he knew it had to do with everything going on and not the people he was surrounded by. It’s justthatsometimes,it was difficult to remember that.But for the most part,he thought he did pretty well. Of course he'd often get a concerned look from Matthewwhen he'd get too quiet or a questioning eyebrow from Williamwhen h
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- A Place To Call Home Epilogue - A Place To Call Home
- A Place To Call Home Chapter 119 - Growing Up And The Grown Ups
- A Place To Call Home Chapter 118 - Their Daughters
- A Place To Call Home Chapter 117 - The Trio
- A Place To Call Home Chapter 116 - Their Son’s Parents
- A Place To Call Home Chapter 115 - Missing Birthday Boy
- A Place To Call Home Chapter 114 - Their House
- A Place To Call Home Chapter 113 - Leaving
- A Place To Call Home Chapter 112 - Family Night
