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Chapter Thirty-Nine
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A Rhapsody for the Playboy Chapter Forty
Chapter 40 – Jayler I stood mentally adrift under the shower as the cold water trickled down incessantly trying to wash away the sticky sweat off of my body. I just got home from that short vacation at the beach and I thought I’m going to be just fine and yet I still feel like I’m in a different space. It’s been quite an unexpected day and the apparent feeling of confusion and shock has been clinging onto me. I have zero to little idea on how would I describe the bizarre and almost unfamiliar feeling when I kissed Lance at that stupid beach party. It just happened in the moment and I don’t even know if I regret doing it but all I know is that I kissed him and I’m pretty much certain that a few people had seen us. I might have to admit the thought that I actually liked the kiss in all fairness, but I’m trying to convince myself that it was just a core mistake that was caused by the alcohol and maybe the sudden feeling of jealousy. I don’t even know why I was feeling jealous when there’
A Rhapsody for the Playboy Chapter Forty-One
Chapter 41 – Jayler I was extremely busy for the following weeks that I felt almost disconnected with everything and somehow everyone around me. For the most part of it, I was conscious and I’m deliberately disconnecting myself around for one; the snide remarks from my peers about the whole reason why I was missing for a week isn’t doing any good for my thoughts; two, I just want to focus on getting back on my academic track and that’s because I don’t want my parents to notice something fishy; and third, I’m still trying to understand myself and still ignoring Lance. The grave punishment of cleaning and helping at the laboratory and library stole my free time and the only time that I could spend with Kenneth and Jasper was every lunch break. It’s the only time that we could catch up to each other and while I missed both of them, I’m still acting as if this was the first time that we met each other. I was mostly reserved purposely to keep my mouth from over talking and oversharing. Th
A Rhapsody for the Playboy Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter 42 – Jayler I guess I was being internally and subconsciously expecting for Joyce to react intrepidly violent just like my dad and I was obviously wrong about that. Even with the current knowledge that she’s dating a bisexual guy, I was admittedly enthralled to think that she would be against me kissing a guy and all. It was really sweet to think that this was the first time that I’m feeling great and thankful with a family member reacting to what I said that wasn’t even a lie. “It just happened and I don’t even know that I truly liked it until I sat and thought about it for a hot minute.” I was stripping everything out fully naked for my sister telling her how I truly felt in the moment and she’s very much attentive which was so comforting in a sense. “Do you think I’m sexually confused or is this just a what most people call a phase and that it’s going to pass sooner?” I flat out uttered the words in its rawest form and I’m actually quite surprised that I found the right do
A Rhapsody for the Playboy Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter 43 – Lance Laying my eyes on Jayler, I saw nothing but the very same innocent smile that I keep on seeing from him every now and then. It was the same smile that makes me feel lighter and less agitated. It’s the same pure smile emanating from this amiable soul that seemed to have this magical vibrancy that never fails to make me abruptly forget about the rotten things that are weighing me down. It was just a simple smile quite frankly but it was a curve destined to create a radiant sunshine that would eventually decimate the cloudy and gloomy mood that I am in. I know it was kind of ironic that I feel magically lighter for the first time in almost a month and quite suddenly better the moment I noticed Jayler’s presence in the center front of the crowd. He’s the sole reason why I came back to feeling all dragged down, indescribably empty and much less of a person for almost a month and now he just showed up unannounced wearing that stupid smile on his face and making me subcon
A Rhapsody for the Playboy Chapter Forty-Four
Chapter 44 – Lance I wasn’t entirely sure if I’m going to take the initiative to go and see Jayler right at his table or if I should just wait for him to summon me. I know I should be the one to act proactively mostly because I’m the one who had a lot of questions to ask and the one who needed some sort of clarity towards this mess. My feelings are obviously hurt and I was left confused as goat on Astroturf without even having a sliver of hope that my questions would be answered in a matter of days. I was like a dough who had already risen but was left outside the oven because someone had just decided to order a pizza. Brushing all of those sad feelings aside, I feel relatively happy tonight but I guess I needed just a minute to get myself together. I need to get my shit in order and be calm as possible. Of course there’s no denying what parts of me feels. I’m also feeling a little bit mad that Jayler only showed up almost a month after ignoring me but I’m more than willing to swallo
A Rhapsody for the Playboy Chapter Forty-Five
Chapter 45 – Lance The crescent moon hanged perfectly above the night sky as Jayler and I set up the long wooden stool to a better spot where we could take a good view of the black canvas splattered with shining and glimmering jewels above the galaxy. Like every normal night, the air is rather cold and nippy but that doesn’t even matter because we came here to talk. Jayler sat at the very edge of the wooden stool which meant that I have to seat at the very edge just to create a bit of space. We both placed our beer at the center of the stool and stared blankly at the night sky for a long while. There’s smoke coming out of our mouth at every breath that we take. To have this serious and private moment, I decided to have this much anticipated conversation here at the rooftop of the building because it’s the only area where there’s the never-ending presence of silence. There are no people at earshot and it’s definitely a place where there’s no presence of distraction and we could only f
A Rhapsody for the Playboy Chapter Forty-Six
Chapter 46 – Jayler To say that I’ve had a needle plucked out of my chest was a typical understatement of the overall moment. While, yes it’s true that I felt a needle was plucked out of my heart when I first saw Lance for the first time in three weeks, it was when Lance first decided to approach and strike a conversation with me that I felt a hundred sharp spikes has been pulled out simultaneously. The feeling was substantially alleviating in every aspect and then by the time he invited me to talk somewhere else private which was at the rooftop of the building, the hundred spikes became almost a thousand. The soothing feeling was gradual but each time we level up to a much serious banter, I feel more and more free of the confusion and the fear. There’s no denying the absolute fact that I’m feeling rather ecstatic, relieved and even understood all at the very same time. Lance and I have been talking for the last fifteen minutes and while I’m the only one who’s been doing all of the t
A Rhapsody for the Playboy Chapter Forty-Seven
Chapter 47 – Jayler Lance stared at me pretty hard as if he doesn’t want to break away from it and the longer he stared, the stickier his stare got. This was the first time that I’m noticing how much of a good-looking guy Lance is and perhaps that’s because I’ve already unlocked this part of me that appreciates guys. It’s easily noticeable that he hasn’t gone to the barbershop for a longer while that his hair had grown way much longer than the last time that I saw him. His bangs were already long and wavy and if it weren’t for the black bandanna that he used as a headband, the bangs would’ve already covered his brown eyes. His patilla hair have already grown too but despite of the fact that he needed some trimming to look cleaner, he still got the natural looks to back it up. I tried to look away from his stare mostly because it seemed like it’s pulling me closer using some sort of psychic power but then my attention just went down to his bow-shaped lips. “I like you too, Jayler but
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