Lance
The night was almost as typical as every other night; there’s always the strong presence of the sharp nose-pinching cold breeze. The pitch-black canvas above the sky was dotted with a myriad of stars blinking incessantly. It was such a beautiful natural view that I have learned to appreciate its mesmerizing beauty every single night. Maybe for normal people it was just a distinctive night sky filled with a myriad of stars blinking endlessly, but for me, it's like a painting painted by the greatest painter of all time, God.
It was a wonderful creation that is created to let us stare at their natural beauty and just dream about some of the things that we want in life. It may not be wonderful enough to repair our poor broken hearts but it was sure wonderful enough to captivate our drive to try and find someone who can pick the pieces up and mend it.
“17?” I huffed under my breath. Hot smoke came out of my mouth and it gradually disappeared into thin air. The sound of those numbers coming out of this teenager’s mouth was just disgusting to hear. It made me feel like an ancient person even when there’s only a nine-year gap between us. That’s almost a ten-year gap, a decade per se, and that gap seemed to translate as if I’ve been alive since the time of the dinosaurs. Or maybe I was just exaggerating but that’s how I feel.
I took a huge bite of the warm siopao bun, chewed it for a few seconds before finally swallowing it. The bun tasted like shit much to my surprise, and I wished I had chosen the hotdog bun instead. My attention was instantly captured by the sight of Jayler enviously staring at me. He was just holding the pack of cigarette on his right hand and the one stick that he pulled from the pack on his left. He was carefully watching me chew as if I’m chewing it like it’s the best siopao bun in the world.
"You hungry too?" With another mouthful, I paused from chewing and forced myself to speak. Jayler just gave me an awkward hesitant smile that basically screamed how hungry he was but was shy to ask.
"Here, let's split it." I pinched the center of the bun, split it up into two then handed the other half to Jayler.
“No, it’s okay, man! I’m fine.” He was evidently hesitant, perhaps he was told by his parents not to take food from strangers.
“Just take it. I know you’re hungry.” I pressed on knowing that he already took the pack of cigarette so basically there’s no point in saying no.
"T-thanks, sir!" The teenager eventually gave up and took the half that I was offering.
"Stop calling me sir. I may look old but I’m still quite young to be called something like that.” I let out a short chuckle. There’s a small part of me that’s a little bit embarrassed by essentially being called old. I don’t even look like a person who’s in a position of authority to be called ‘sir’.
“I-I don’t.”
“Oh right, I haven’t told you my name yet. My bad.” I paused realizing this poor kid has been talking to a nameless stranger all this time. “My name's Lance. Lance Anderson."
There was a moment of silence right after. The kid took a bite from the siopao bun and I was greatly expecting him to say something about the taste of it but he just took another bite and another until there was nothing left. He just devoured the shitty siopao bun in just a minute. I was exactly right, he was dead ass hungry and that’s probably the reason why he did not say anything about how shitty the bun was.
“You’re really hungry, huh?” I trailed.
“Yeah, I did not eat dinner.” Jayler replied instantly.
“Here,” I offered the other half to him as my thoughts tried to convince myself that I’m already full but in reality I just don’t like the taste of it.
“No, I’m good.”
“No, just take it. I’m already full anyway.” I pressed on and just handed him the half even if he was acting hesitant.
“Are you sure?” He looked at me and I just nodded with such firm conviction painted on my face.
“Yup.”
“T-thank you.” He replied and he subsequently devoured the rest of the bun with such hunger just like how he consumed the first half that I gave him.
By the time he was finished eating, he let out a short burp basically letting me know he’s at least full.
“Sorry about that.” Jayler uttered sounding more shy.
“By the way, what are you doing out here at this time of the night?” I asked out of pure curiosity. I took a quick glance at my watch and it’s already fifteen minutes before midnight. “Aren’t you supposed to be home?” I added noting the fact that kids like him shouldn’t be out here.
I may have a hint as to why a minor was still out here. This kid’s probably partying and couldn’t resist the urge to smoke. But what can I say, I know a lot people like him when I was his age.
“I’m drinking with my friends.” He replied and just as I thought, he was out here living his teenage life.
He reached for his pocket and fished a black nondescript Zippo lighter. He flipped the base lid of the lighter and a bright orange and yellow varying hue of flame came out to life. He popped the mint from the center of the cigarette's butt first before eventually lighting it.
"Your lighter is cool." I said looking at the lighter.
"Thanks, I just stole it from my dad's collection.” He spat. He lit the stick and then subsequently puffed a smoke. “He has a lot of these. He won't even notice this one’s missing."
The unhealthy yet soothing smell of the smoke from the cigarette filled the air as Jayler started to puff and blow.
"You do know that smoking is bad for your health, don't you?" I uttered which was weird that I was reminding him this kind of thing when I the one who bought the cigarette in the first place. It was odd that I became like a concerned teacher or a guidance counselor instantly, like a moment of hypocrisy just kicked inside of me making me puke hypocritical question.
"Of course. I do know that." Jayler became wickedly confident in a pinch, a short statement from a teenager who accurately distinguishes bad things from good things but still does the bad things regardless.
"Then why are you still doing it?" I asked. It’s not like I don’t know the answer but perhaps I just wanted to hear his opinion.
"I don't know. Maybe because I believe that we, humans, are perfectly imperfect." Jayler shrugged and the brilliance in him started to show itself. A strong and somehow compelling poetic tongue spat the words out of his mouth.
"And how is that related to what I just asked?" I asked further. I thought I knew what he was going to say but his response was such a surprise to me.
"Err. We are perfectly imperfect that we also need guilty pleasures, some bad things like this in life. It's the deepest darkest part of being a human, some of us might be ashamed of it but there is only one truth out of it, aside from us being ashamed of the skeleton in our very own closet, and that is we are certainly not complete without doing it."
I was completely taken aback by Jayler’s further elaboration of his initial answer. I immediately regret asking him that second question because I wasn’t expecting this kind of rebuttal most especially from a teenager who’s out here drinking alcohol.
I’m more than shocked about this kid’s apparent eloquence that I ended up just staring at him as he continued spitting his opinion. "It's like a necessity. We can't live without it, you know. Even the most religious person out there has a dark secret."
"Okay, that's something interesting." I spat out feeling like I don’t have anything else to say to him. This kid might be quite young and delinquent but he definitely has his own point of view for things like this. His eyes are definitely open.
“Hey, Lance! I’m sorry to cut this conversation short but I have to go back now, my friends are waiting for me.” Jayler said. It was very respectful of him and although I enjoyed my short conversation with him, I don’t have anything else to say.
“Yeah, they’re probably looking for you.”
"Do you want to come inside and drink with my friends?" Jayler offered pointing towards the direction of this club named Fountain of Youth.
"Naah, I have to go home now. I have tons of work to do tomorrow." I shook my head instantly declining his kind invitation.
The three of them left Bradey who was enjoying the company of beautiful girls grinding with him. He surrendered to his bed and pleaded for the mercy of sleep to come and rescue him butit won't just come. He began thinking about what he said a few hours earlier, at first it sounded funny and even more insane but it could possibly be the solution to his problem. Dating a man.He was always open to the idea even before he met Samantha, but he couln't just take the risk without properly thinking about it, plus he wasn't gay at all. Day by day, he is losing every singledrop of hope he had to the point that he is starting to become desperate. The thought of getting old alone was squeezing his spinal cord; he never wanted to be left alone in this world like her mother.Richard was sitting taciturnly in front of his computer monitor, tapping away the keyboard, and while sipping some of the Matcha he bought from where he worked, he did not turned hisfocus away fro
After the kiss everything went crazily awkward yet it felt like doubled heaven. However there had been no clear apprehension of moving from sleep to consciousness or if he did ever had the chance to sleep at all. At first he was just lying around eyes wide open firmly fixed above the idle ceiling. Usually things always do sink in as swift as a blink of an eye but now it actually took about less than twenty-four hours for him just to fully process and accept everything that happened. It's sure is real and it was wild, hungry, ardent, and awfully wrong in a way yet he wanted it all.He needed every second of it.Not that he was regretting it or something but it sure opened the closet to the realization of how sexually confused he is. Jasper and Kenneth kept on asking him about when will he ask somebody out, or when will he fuck somebody and as a response he was just telling them words of wisdom. It was obviously hilarious but, even if you consider how smart he is, he jus
Kenneth's increasing excitement almost gave a successful infection to Jasper and Jayler, as soon as the lazy tattooed bouncer let them in without even having some second thoughts or even laying an eye to verify their legality, they started moving with the funky beat playing within the background. Clearly, even a nine year old kid could tell, they seem to resonate sheen light of minority within them though, in the most teenager sense of thinking, they dressed themselves plausibly in accordance and tried to be as oblivious as possible. They were successful about it, no one noticed and even if someone actually noticed they wouldn't give a damn anyway. They were just having fun and having fun means breaking rules, or at least that's how teenagers believe it to be."Oh lord I’ve got to admit I missed this damn place” Kenneth whistled.“Are you fucking kidding me Kenneth?” Jasper blurted in response while giving him a disbelieving glare.“Well, yeah I was here yesterday and the day before t
The long and tiring day finally reeled to an end, Richard arrived at his unit at exactly eleven pm with the thought of Jayler actually staying in, and as usual like yesterday and the day before that,there was no sign of Jayler to be found. He was not fine with it, he doesn't understand why or how did something like this be happening to him but he felt like just being with him soothes allthe sores of a tiring day, but he has to be fine with it, and of course realizing the mere fact that his shift ends at 10 pm, Jayler probably had gone home, he has some parents and a sister toworry for his safety. He has a family, a sweet thing that he had once. And this is Friday night, and Friday nights were supposed to be the youngest of the young nights for him, and even if heis already at the early stages of getting real old to this crappy life, he and his friends still have the finest time to seek pleasure with their party people mindset. The clamorous thought of feeling
Friday came crashing down like a tremendous blazing fireball of blessing, aside from the mere fact that Fridays were always a blessing, it was the last day of Jayler's three day suspension andafter that he can finally return back to school. He woke up very much delighted with the idea that it was all over at last, and, just like the fresh and lustrous morning light, his smile was the brightest.He took the shower with such ease and pleasure while singing some part of a certain song, humming happily into its funky and perky beats and later on doing some awkward dance moves.He arrived thirty minutes earlier today at Richard's condo unit, appearing quite youthful and reinvigorated as ever. Purely for his own amusement, in the high spirits of this stirring and exciting day,Jayler had been trying to act accordingly, keeping himself pulled together, as he found how endearing Richard could be, who based on the sole evidence of his bachelor upbringing have sethi
It was past ten before Richard arrived at Fidelitea. This was the hour when he found Fidelitea most lovable; the shop was not yet the busiest, the smell of fresh teas making its way to invadehis nostrils never failed to relieve his accumulating anxiety, and he was so eager to kick start the bright day with his indefatigable enthusiasm bolstered by the good night sleep he mustered.Though, a thousand of trembling hearts were beating restlessly in close proximity within this heaving ancient mall, and many of them, after all, would be aching in agony but his heartache wasfar worse than theirs. Considering all of the things, whether all of the good or the bad, that happened in his past, he was impotently reduced into nothing but an incapacitated marionette madeout of fragile skins and broken bones with a deplorable heart from stitches of mismatched parts from varying textiles that were scraped out from the anguishing memories of all of his past lovers.Strang