Chapter 9: Guilt Trick

DAHLIA'S POV

MOMMY?

I don't think I heard that right. Cleo is calling me Mommy again! I spin around and go to sit beside her on the bed.

“Please, Mommy! I want to go with you!” She screams again and that breaks my heart much more than her father's decision.

I hold her hand in mine as I feel warm liquid roll down my cheeks. Her eyes are tightly closed, her lips dry and thin, her face so white as she keeps turning her head in her sleep, as if she is trying to fight off something. Or probably get away from whatever demon that has been haunting her since the accident. She fought her way back to me and I can't let anyone take her away from me again.

“My love, Mommy is right here with you.” I pull her up gently and wrap my arms around her.

In her unconscious state, she is calling on me, clinging to me for dear life and remembers that I would have done anything to stop the truck that ran into them if I had super powers. If I could see the future back then, I could have given anything to save her from that traumatic experience. But once she's awake, everything goes away into the darkest recesses of her mind so she forgets everything again.

When I release her, her eyes drift open and she looks at me with a deep frown, confusion clouding her eyes immediately. I hate that my daughter's mind is blank. God must've forsaken me for allowing this to happen to me. It isn't enough that my son died, now I have to watch my daughter suffer.

Now Jerome is back on his feet and he clearly doesn't want me anymore. What am I supposed to do at this point in my life? What if he takes away Cleo? For how long must this go on? What great sin have I committed to deserve this?

“How are you feeling today, honey?” I ask, trying and failing to smile.

“Are you my doctor?” She queries, looking me over in doubt.

I sniff when more tears flow down my cheeks, knowing that her mind has just refreshed like a hijacked website, wiping every data storage.

“I am not the doctor, but I understand, sweetie. You're my child and I feel your pain and wish I can take it away.” I hug her again, unable to stop myself from squeezing her tightly.

“You don't have to cry. Big girls don't cry.”

I pull her away gently and start to wipe my face at once. She remembers those exact words. On their fourth birthday, she'd stepped on her dress and fallen on their birthday cake. She'd cried so much that I consoled her saying that she's a big girl and big girls don't cry. Now she's saying the same sentence to me. It shows that somewhere in her foggy mind, there's still my precious daughter.

“Yes, big girls don't cry so they don't ruin their makeup.” I complete the sentence and she smiles with a slow nod.

“My head hurts. My eyes feel so heavy.” She winces as I help her lean her back against the bed’s headboard so she sits uprightly and feels more comfortable.

“You'll be fine, honey. The pain will subside and we will go home, okay?” I peck her cheeks fondly, patting

The door opens and her doctor comes in, Sunny following behind, lifting a bag and smiling brightly.

“I brought food, Cleo.” Sunny says going to kiss her on the forehead. “The doctor says it's okay for her to eat this evening when I checked on her during lunch, so I stopped by Riyah’s, she loves their food!” She continues when I give her an inquisitive glance.

I don't think I'd have survived any of this without Sunny. We spend the rest of the evening with Cleo before we go home. She follows me to know if the cleaners she helped me hire have put the house in order.

“Well, it at least looks livable now.” She comments when I open the door.

I only shrug and sit down in the only armchair left in the living room. The couches were probably trashed since they were all burnt. I don't even get the opportunity to know what started the fire from Jerome before he leaves.

“I heard your husband walks now and was discharged. So why isn't he home? His legs still need to heal properly even if he can move around without support.” Sunny says as if she can read my mind at that moment.

I noticed that he was limping when he walked out from Cleo's room earlier at the hospital.

“He desperately needed to get away from me.” I mumble. Looking around the walls at what's left of our family portraits.

“What do you mean?” She plants both hands on her hips and stares at me.

Tears well up in my eyes when I can't find the right way to explain Jerome's change. He can't leave now when I really need him the most. He should be here for me. He should stand by me and tell me that everything will be alright. He just can't dump me now that I am so stranded when everything I do is for him and our daughter.

“Hey, Dahlia. What is going on? Come on, tell me.” She comes to hug me.

When she pulls away and offers me a small wiper from her purse, I wipe my tears and blow my nose.

“He wants a divorce and he wants to have custody of Cleopatra.”

“Hell no, that son of a bitch isn't doing that shit to you!” She exclaims, swearing under her breath. “I knew he'd something up his sleeve from the very beginning and now he thinks he can just do whatever he wants because you're broke? Damn!”

“I don't know what to do, Sunny. I can't lose him. For Cleo's sake, and fuck, I think I still love him. I want my husband back, not that cold man he became after the accident. It's probably the pain, the guilt…”

“What stupid pain and guilt? Don't patronize him, Dahlia. He's just selfish. You take up a lot of shit and I hate that about you. I never liked him and I told you he looked too perfect to be real. That smooth talker! You don't need him or your father, or anyone else who just wants to wrap you around their fingers, use you for their benefits and trash you when they can't get nothing anymore. You don't deserve it, homegirl.” she shuns angrily.

My mouth opens to argue, but I don't know what to say, so I just shut up and burst into tears again. She is right and arguing with her is pointless.

“Let's go to my house. You can't stay here all by yourself weeping like a hungry baby. I won't forgive myself if you decide to hang yourself overnight. Cleo needs her mama the most now.” She adjusts her handbag and grabs my hand.

“Let me pack a bag.” I stand up to go upstairs, but the doorbell stops me.

Could that be Jerome? Has he finally realized he was making a mistake and decided to come back home?

I exchange a knowing look with Sunny as she releases my hand and I almost run to the door, throwing it ajar without bothering to check the door camera. I regret my action immediately when I see the face of the estate's attorney.

What was I thinking… Jerome doesn't need to ring the bell, he knows the door's passcode. It doesn't matter anyway, I'd have still opened the door.

“Hello, Mrs Salazar. I hope you are well?” He greets. “I couldn't reach you through your mobile, so I decided to bring this myself.” He continues when I don't answer, handing me a file.

“Uhm, sorry, what is it about?”

“You've to vacate the house as soon as possible."